Chapter 392: Technical Difficulties

Chapter 392: Technical Difficulties

No, I hadnt gone insane with power. Setting fire to a city full of people wasnt my idea of a good time. The city wasnt actually on fire.

While Mrs Somya was able to create a sympathetic link between the model of Fengarad and the real thing, cities cant actually feel or think or get hot and flustered. The people in the city could, though.

The way a church can create a sense of awe and wonder in religious nutters was similar to the way the city could affect its inhabitants.

Mrs Somya could create the idea that the city was on fire which it wasnt and the people would believe it, to a retarded degree. Theyd believe it so much, theyd run out of their houses and break the city walls down to escape from the wildfires they were sure were about to consume them. They could feel the heat, smell the smoke, taste the ash.

The city had, in effect, become the voodoo doll for the people of Fengarad. There was no need to make individual sculptures for each person, they were united by their identity as Fengaradians, or whatever the fuck they called themselves.

The soldiers on the walls were no less affected, and a couple of them did run screaming off the battlements, falling to their deaths, or possibly breaking a couple of legs. I admit I was partially responsible for their misfortune, but some soldiers would have been killed in any case. Thats how war works. Overall, my approach had saved lives. Prove me wrong.

The panic among the people was great enough that the gates were forced open from the inside and we just had to stand there and wait for our besieged foe to unbesiege themselves.

As they streamed, out it was very clear that there were no flames endangering anyone, other than the ones engulfing the model, which was a big charred mess. Once it burnt itself out, I imagined the people of Fengarad would feel pretty stupid. Which wouldnt lead to them to admitting theyd been outplayed and quietly accept defeat. No, they would react by turning violent and bitter. You just cant teach people a valuable lesson about their place in the universe without them trying to kill you for it. No pleasing some people.

I climbed on top of a large behemoth of indiscriminate origin (looked like a cross between a tiger and a hippo), who didnt seem to mind, or even notice and I stood above the crowds moving towards us. My troops werent reacting. They hadnt been told to attack and they werent all that interested in killing for no reason. Being dead for so long had helped them see things from a fresh perspective, perhaps. Or it could have been that they were a surly bunch of ingrates who didnt understand why theyd been dragged out of their nice warm graves.

Whatever the reason for their placid temperament, it suited my purposes, so I wasnt going to complain. Well, not about that, anyway.

Once the refugees were far enough from the city walls to not feel the heat on their backs, they realised their situation hadnt really improved.

Phase one of my plan had worked pretty well, now I just had to make sure they didnt stand around like stunned yokels, blocking the people behind them.

Keep moving, please, I bellowed through cupped hands around my mouth. We need to evacuate everyone before we can go in and put out the fire.

Who are you? cried out someone. Read latest chapters at novelhall.com Only

Were the fire service. Technically, that was true. Want something set on fire? Call for more info and competitive pricing. Well get in there and sort everything out, dont worry. Just keep it moving. Let the others get out.

They were forced to do as I asked, but not because of my persuasive charm, but because there was a whole bunch of panicking people right behind them.

Think what you could do with this many people driven to act without pause for thought. When people join forces to get something done, the results are pretty impressive. The pyramids, the Great Wall of China, the Qatar football stadiums for the World Cup. Basically, human accomplishment can achieve remarkable results with a combination of slavery and a willingness to let people die in their thousands.

Confusion reigned, soldiers mingled with the general populous, and no one seemed to know what was going on. Whatever might lay ahead, it had to be better than the hell they were leaving behind, and they poured out like England supporters coming out of Wembley. They looked haggard and had shocked expressions on their faces, like England supporters coming out of Wembley.

No need to panic, youre all safe out here. Keep to the left, please. Monsters will kill and eat you if you stray from the path. Dont worry, its for your own safety.

My troops watched impassively as the citizens of Fengarad filed past, filling up the area between us and the city like some kind of human moat. The undead are an unsettling sight when they stand in a large group and stare into your soul. They show no emotion and no value for life. Their dead eyes speak of untold horrors they have witnessed and can never recover from. If youve ever been to Leeds city centre, youll know the feeling.

I kept up a continuous commentary to put these poor, dislocated people at their ease. It cant be easy to leave behind everything you own and have accumulated over a lifetime, in fear for your life and surrounded by fear and uncertainty. Having a strong, comforting voice letting them know everything was going to be alright was what they needed right now.

No littering pease. Stay off the grass. Try not to look directly at any monsters, especially not with disgust and revulsion. Their eyes might look dead and soulless, but they have feelings. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ive never been great at public speaking, but I felt like I was getting the hang of it.

It took about half an hour for the city to empty. Thousands of people had gathered outside the walls, rich, poor, soldiers and beggars. It was a wonderful example of a community coming together to be cucked by yours truly, and cucked hard.

I gave the signal and my lot piled into the city. The citizens cheered our bravery. Yes, we were the enemy, but we were running into a burning city. You had to admire the moxie.

My bravery was somewhat tempered by the fact only people had exited the city. I knew Fengarad had made a pact with the lizardmen, and they were probably still inside.

The image of the burning city would affect visiting monsters and tourists a lot less than the local populace. I expected to find angry lizardmen ready to fight to the death, and tourists inadvertently blocking entrances and walking down the wrong side of staircases, making a general nuisance of themselves.

Flossie and Dudley were pleased thered been no bloodshed and were looking at me with sickening expectation. They wanted me to keep going on my pacifist run, but I doubted that would be possible. Disappointment was in their future, as it was in everyones.

I told them to take the dragon and circle the city to make sure there werent any backdoor shenanigans. If anyone knew about what that would look like, it would be those two.

As soon as we were all inside the city walls, I gave the order to shut the gates.

I find that hard to believe, I said. Need her for what?

The midgets assistance was unrequited, insisted Laney. The bars were wide enough to let my winsome body through, but I have bumps and curves that made egress a little sticky. She said the word with a lot of teeth on show. Youve noticed the bumps and curves Im talking about, havent you, mmm?

You should have added a padlock and left her there, I said to Biadet.

My plan was simple, said Laney. I was collecting grease from the disgusting meals they served me. When I had enough, I would remove my clothing all of my clothing and smear my body with meaty oils. Slippery smooth, yes? Glistening in the moonlight, can you picture it? Ready to push myself through the bars. Squeeeeeze.

Thats enough, I said. Youre making the undead feel uncomfortable. Lets just go, you can talk to your dad, stop him from attacking us. Might be preferable to just let him execute me.

Dont worry, Colin, I will protect you from my father. He always gives me what I want.

Will you protect me from her? I asked Biadet.

No, she said. But Ill be happy to watch and offer criticism.

We made it to the throne room without encountering anyone else. I knocked on the large door, ready to slip into the adjacent world as soon as trouble appeared.

I could have done that anyway and scouted the area for any hidden forces waiting to ambush us, but theres no point sneaking around a Level 1 dungeon when youre already level-capped and can one-hit boss mobs.

The doors opened and revealed an almost empty room. There was only one person inside, sitting on the throne.

Come in, then, since youre here, said Jenny.

She looked pretty good. She was wearing a very form-fitting white outfit with gold buttons and high collars, and a pinched waist with flowing tails on the back. There were spikes on the shoulder pads and she had red gloves up to the elbows, with metal bands woven into them, around the fingers and up the forearms. Combination knuckle-duster and blade blocker; nice.

Um, hello, I said. You look different. Have you done something different with your hair?

Dont say that if youre just guessing. She got up from the throne and walked towards us. I felt a wave of ice flow over me. The two girls beside me backed away, their faces sagging. The undead didnt react, though.

This was her power, to affect emotions. But the undead, like me, didnt have any, so we were immune. Although some of us were more immune than others.

She really did look good. No skin was showing, no cleavage, no makeup. Her face was still fucked up from the dragon acid, but it didnt make a difference.

We need to talk, she said.

Okay. Um, lot of weather weve been having lately, dont you think?

Not that kind of talk. And in private. The rest of you stay here. She turned to Biadet and Laney. I mean it.

Laney pouted, Biadet shrugged.

Jenny turned and walked towards a door, expecting me to follow.

Was this a trap. Was it even really Jenny? Was she possessed or under mind-control? And where was everyone else? Waiting to jump out and throw me a surprise party?

I followed her into the other room. There was a large bed in there.

She closed the door and began undressing.

What are you doing? I asked her.

Im going to have sex with you. She kept stripping.

This is sexual harassment, I said, watching closely. For tricks.

She stood there in her underwear. Its only sexual harassment if you dont want to fuck me.

She had me there. Looked like I was about to get off on a technicality.