Chapter 410: Strange Fruit

Chapter 410: Strange Fruit

Maurice? I inquired of the darkness.

Yes? said Maurices disembodied voice.

Can I ask you a question?

Okay, said Maurice. What is it?

I took a breath to compose myself and went over my query so it wouldnt be misunderstood. Here was my chance to finally get some answers, so it was important I made my meaning as clear and concise as possible.

What the fuck are you playing at? I felt like Id captured the essence of what was important.

Ah, well, yes, said Maurice, covering all the unhelpful responses in one fell swoop. He was dithering, but he was doing it very efficiently.

I waited for the rest of it. My new guru, Mr Shroom, seemed to be about to say something, but I held up a hand to stop him. We had to wait it out, the way a fisherman has to wait for a fish to open its big stupid mouth so he can stick a hook in it.

You might think, Well, you dont know this new guy, he might have been about to say something deep and insightful.

To which I would say, You can shut the fuck up, too.

Its a long story, said Maurice. I continued to wait. You see, you died

I really died? Like, properly dead?

Yes, said Maurice, his voice all around me, or so it seemed. You did pretty well to last as long as you had, to be honest. I would have expected you to die a lot earlier.

Oh, thanks. Worked it out in your notebook, did you? In pie chart form?

No, of course not. I used a graph, potential of death over time. A pie chart would be very difficult to extrapolate from.

A simple line graph, huh? Nice. And whats my current chance of surviving this shit storm youve dropped me into?

Currently, your chance of coming out of this alive, um, let me think, I dont have my books on me If I remember correctly, I had you at seventy percent.

Seventy percent chance to win? Okay, thats not bad.

Plus or minus thirty.

Plus or minus thirty percent? So you had my odds at between forty and a hundred percent? What kind of scuffed maths is that?

It gives you a potential one hundred percent outcome, said Maurice. You have to take variance into account.

What are you even talking about? It was hard not to get frustrated with him. Everything has a potential hundred percent outcome. What youre really saying is its a forty percent probability.

Thats a very pessimistic way to look at it, said Maurice.

Where to even begin?

Look, I said, I have two very simple questions that I need you to answer for me. One, what am I? Am I really alive? Why have you been giving me the run around all this time? Am I transmigrated soul inside a construct, and if so, why didnt you make me better looking and with bionic arms?

Thats more than two questions, said Maurice.

And two, I said, emphatically demonstrating that I knew how to count by holding up two fingers, where the fuck are you?

Well, the second ones easier to answer. The area we were in slowly began to illuminate with a green light. As the light expanded beyond my own little ball of white, it showed that we were inside a kind of cave, only the walls were streaked with vines not unlike the ones I was used to seeing when I slipped into the adjacent world.

There was still no sign of Maurice, but then I had turned him into dust last time I saw him, so he could be the dust or the light or vibrations in the air.

And youre in here, somewhere, are you?

No, said Maurice, this is me.

Youre a cave?

Im the island. Or Im part of it. When you killed me, you turned me into plant food. The island absorbed me.

Oh, I said, not really having a snappy comeback. Sorry about that.Follow current novels at novelhall.com)

Dont be. That was the idea. You played your part perfectly.

Glad I could help, I said, not really glad at all. What he was basically saying was that he had manipulated me into killing him to get this result for whatever reason. He could have just asked and I would have done it without the need for all the subterfuge. You couldnt have just told me about any of this?

Its not that easy. Its not just you who had to be kept in the dark.

Joshaya? He was the only person I could see being an issue.

Yes.

Maurice was still being very hesitant. I felt like shaking him and turning him upside down so I could smack him on the backside to get the sauce out quicker. Not in a gay way, in a ketchup way. Although I wouldnt be surprised if theres a subreddit that combines the two in a manner that should be banned but the site is run by neo-Nazis so it must be allowed because something something free speech.

Joshaya killed me, I said, going back to where wed started. Then what?

Then Joshaya tried to force the rest of us to free the other fairies, although he called them the Old Gods at the time. And once he explained what he wanted us to do, we told him we couldnt free the Old Gods, only you could do that, but hed killed you, so

So hed cucked himself, I said.

What does that mean? I asked.

It means you need a new body.

And where do I get one of those?

Actually, I know just the place.

The light in the cave grew brighter, although still very green and spooky, revealing vines hanging from the roof. There were like the roots of trees that had pushed their way through the ground, into the open.

What am I looking at? I said, not sure if I was supposed to see something up there.

The vines began to glow and then one in particular grew in intensity. It looked like a big fetus curled up, but not in a cool star child in 2001: A Space Odyssey. This was more like when someone holds up a malformed root vegetable and goes, Look at this weird thing, it looks like a man with three penises. And everyone agrees and the picture goes on to become the most upvoted picture in the history of the internet.

Is that supposed to be me? It did have a vague similarity to my features. Couldnt you have made it a bit taller?

It has to be as close to the original as possible to minimise the chances of rejection, said Maurice. I noticed the green light pulsed in time with his voice.

And what about you? I asked. Youre going to stay being an island from now on, are you?

No, said Maurice. Hopefully not. I want to get back to Claire, if I can. How is she?

Very mean and completely unreasonable, I said.

Yes, she is, isnt she? There was a warmth and fondness in his voice that was entirely inappropriate. And he wondered why I questioned his judgement! Ive made a body for myself, too.

Another of the hanging roots began to glow.

I looked up at it, examining it closely. I thought you said it had to be an exact copy of the original.

As close as possible.

That one looks like itll be well over six feet tall.

Thats just the way its curled up.

And whats with all the muscles?

Theyre nodules. They grow naturally, part of the process. They disappear when the body is ready for harvesting.

And that thing between its legs, thats a nodule, too, is it?

Yes, said Maurice. The cave glowed green, but I reckoned it was blushing.

So youre going to make vegetable bodies for both of us?

Something like that.

And you found out how to do this where?

In the spires. There was a lot of information in there.

Which you believed?

The thing is, the spires, theyre connected to you.

That didnt make sense. How can

I know, youre not connected to anything. But I found memories in there that came from you. Recordings I cant explain it. I didnt have time to fully investigate. The only important thing is that it got us this far. Which was a fair point.

I looked up at the hanging bodies. And we just wait until theyre ripe and ready to pick, do we?

There is a slight problem, said Maurice.

Yes?

Joshaya. He still thinks were helping him.

But hes got his fairies back. What does he need us for?

There was a long pause. He doesnt need us. He needs you. Once he has control of Fengarad, hell want you to fulfil your part of the agreement.

What agreement? I didnt make any agreement.

I sort of made it on your behalf, said Maurice. Youre going to activate the spires for him.

To do what? I asked.

I dont know, said Maurice. Im hoping we dont find out.

I looked around at the other three people in the room, quietly listening. Might as well bring them into the discussion, I decided. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the new information, like a man dying of thirst suddenly being waterboarded. Okay. Anyone have any good ideas?

Yes, said Shroom. Clearly the best option is to kill you. That way Joshaya wont be able to accomplish his goal.

It was a terrible suggestion, and yet it was hard not to agree.