Chapter 427: Home Alone

Chapter 427: Home Alone

Donald Trump was President of America and Boris Johnson was the Prime Minister of Great Britain. Even more absurdly, Spurs were in contention for the Premiership title and the Champions League. I read the newspaper from front to back twice and it still didnt make any sense.

If this was a fake reality, who would make it this unbelievable? And if this was the real thing, what the hell had happened? Had everyone lost their minds.

Oh, and there was also a global pandemic and Nazis marching in the streets. This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com

If this had been a video game, it would have been lambasted for being lazy and clichd. What next, a zombie apocalypse and the rise of the machines?

Perhaps there was a reasonable explanation for what was going on but I didnt really care. It wasnt like I had any intention of staying here and dealing with any of this crap.

My goal was to find a way back. Which meant reactivating my magical abilities. That was all I had to worry about. It didnt matter how crazy this place had gotten in my absence, it wasnt my problem.

The train stopped at a couple of stations, picking up only a few people. It was early enough that the morning rush hour had yet to start.

Despite the end of civilization, the people going to work looked like regular people with the same old lack of any real concern for anything that didnt directly affect them right now, right here. Tired, bored faces, holding coffee in disposable cups in one hand and their smartphones in the other, no conversations, no smiles, no fucks given. Life was carrying on as it usually did.

It took around ninety minutes to reach London. It was about half seven in the morning and the train wasnt even half-full.

Exiting the train and taking the escalators down to the underground station was easy enough. No one looked at me twice, even though I was dressed like an off-brand pirate. This was London, where the weirder you looked, the more invisible you were.

I paid for my tube ticket I only just had enough money and made my way to the Piccadilly Line platform.

As I rode in a packed tube train in the middle of the morning rush hour, squashed between coats like I was trapped in the back of someones closet, it started to dawn on me that I was nearly home and I hadnt even considered what I was going to do when I got there. Would there be an alternate Colin sitting in my flat?

I hadnt paid my rent or bills for three years, and I didnt have a key to get in and frighten the crap out of whoever was living there now, but I didnt know where else to go.

My place was walking distance from Wood Green Station. I followed the route Id taken every weekday morning and evening to and from work.

The small block of flats I lived in looked the same. I pressed the keycode into the pad next to the glass door with the crack running diagonally across the top half, just like it was the last time Id used it. The door clicked open.

My flat was on the second floor. I walked up the stairs and along the hallway. The familiarity hit me in waves. This was my home, my whole life up until recently.

The number on my door 22 was nailed on unevenly, just as I remembered it.

I knocked on my own door. It seemed the polite thing to do. There was no response, which was a relief. I had no key, just a spoon hanging around my neck.

There was only one thing to do. I knocked on my neighbours door. Number 20, Tony something-or-other. He wasnt someone I spoke to often, just a casual hello every now and again, but back when I first moved in, he had taken the time to explain a few of the basic rules of the building. When to leave out rubbish, which floors to avoid, why to never take the lift after 7 PM.

He was an odd bloke who kept to himself and worked from home. I think. He never went out, so that was my best guess.

And the time I locked myself out of my own flat, he helped me break back in.

The door opened and a grey-haired, slightly chubby face peered out from behind a chained door.

There was a moment of confusion, some squinting and then a surprised look. Colin?

Hi, Tone. Long time no see. I tried to sound as casual as possible.

Youre alive. The door opened a little more and looked me up and down. What happened to you? What are you wearing? You look terrible.

Um, yes, I said. Ive been on holiday. This is what they wear over there abroad. Sorry to disturb you, but I lost my keys. Any chance you could help me get in like last time?

He leaned back and then forward, getting me into focus. Its really you.

Yes.

You didnt die?

No, Ive just been away. Travelling.

It was all very confusing and I was having a hard time getting to grips with my situation, but there were some basic things I could check using the laptop in my bedroom.

The computer booted up fine, slow as ever. The internet was working. The wifi that usually dropped out every time a butterfly in the Amazon flapped its wings was perfectly fine.

The first thing I did was check my bank balance. After sitting there for five minutes trying to remember my passwords.

The more advanced technology gets, the more passwords we have to remember for our own security. A different password for every site, change them every six months, use a series of letters and numbers you cant possibly remember, but dont write it down anywhere, that would defeat the point.

No, just save it in your browser where only you and Google can access it. Google wouldnt betray you, their motto used to be Dont be evil before it was changed to China, number one.

My bank balance was surprisingly healthy. Rent and utilities had been paid automatically and money had been coming in from my job. The job I hadnt done for four years. What were they paying me for? I had hardly been worth paying when I had turned up. Perhaps they found they were more productive when I was absent.

The main thing was that I had funds as soon as I found my debit card and remembered my PIN. Things were looking up.

Since I had the internet at my disposal, I decided to look up a few things from the last few years and soon realised that the world was in even worse shape than Id thought.

An American president controlled by Russians, Saudi Arabia murdering journalists with impunity, China running slave labour camps.

Its not often someone gets culture-shocked by their own culture.

I decided to Google myself. If what Tony had said really was connected to our disappearance, if it had been noticed, then there would be some sort of news story about it.

My name produced millions of results, but none of them had anything to do with me. Thats what happens when you have a common name and havent done anything to mark yourself out from your eponymous herd.

The Theme from Love Story began to play. It was my phone ringing, plugged into the socket next my bed, at 100% battery life for four years.

Why was my phone ringing? No one ever called me before, why would they be calling now? The number wasnt showing.

Just some marketing robocall?

I picked it up. Hello?

Colin? said a very deep, male, probably middle-aged voice.

Um, yes? Who is this?

Ah, it really is you. Thats wonderful. You dont know me, but Im hoping you know my daughter, Victoria.

Sorry, I dont think I know anyone called Victoria. Are you sure you have the right number?

Oh, very sure. Ive been waiting a long time for you to come home. Frankly, I wasnt sure you would ever return, any of you. Perhaps you know her by her nickname. She always insisted on being called Flossie. It was her mothers name for her.

Sorry, whats your name?

Archibald Larwood. Call me Archie.

Since I was on the computer, I put his name into Google, not really expecting anything, but it was a fairly unusual name, so you never know. There were over a hundred thousand hits. All for the same man.

Archibald Larwood, billionaire businessman, entrepreneur, inventor, philanthropist, MBE, hated by unions, friend to the stars, owner of a Caribbean island, suspected of numerous crimes, convicted of none. He had quite the Wikipedia page.

Youre Flossies dad?

Ah, so you do know her. Thats very good to hear. Very good. Colin, I think we should meet. I have so many questions. Are you free for lunch?

It was getting on for eleven and I was a little peckish. And who wouldnt want to grab a bite to eat with a billionaire? I assumed he would be paying.

Sure. Where would you like to There was a loud, insistent knocking on my front door.

That will be my driver, said Archie. Ill see you soon. Im very much looking forward to it.