Chapter 430: Unwarranted Attention

Chapter 430: Unwarranted Attention

On the positive side (and, as we all know, Im all about the silver lining) I was not the Colin of four years ago. Physically, mentally, emotionally well, okay, emotionally I was still a disaster, but I had gained a lot of impressive qualities during my time away.

I was confident that I could get out of this situation. Im not saying I would, Im just saying the confidence was there.

The cops and the crowd that had stopped to rubberneck were all looking confused. Several of them had caught some of what had just happened on their phones and were checking the footage. I was tempted to go over and have a look myself.

I had definitely performed magic. I didnt know how I did it, and I felt no different when it happened, but it did happen. The homeless guys face was proof of that.

Which was great. Who wouldnt want to be able to do real magic in a world as drab and mundane as this one?

The only problem was that I had no idea how to do it again. And in the meantime, people were looking at me funny and whispering to each other. Torches and pitchforks would appear any moment now.

Strangely, I didnt feel awkward or embarrassed. Instead, I saw them as ready-made accomplices who were going to help me get out of here.

Thank you, very much. Thank you, thank you. I took a bow. And a big hand for my assistant. I put my arm around the befuddled homeless guy. Please visit my website, , where youll find more videos with amazing demonstrations of impossible feats.

The crowd looked disappointed. They lowered their phones. When I was some rando doing inexplicable things, I was worthy of space on their SD card. But a self-promoting twat looking to get Youtube-famous, that was just taking advantage of their curiosity and good-natured desire to leech off of someone elses ability to be interesting.

Are you some kind of street performer? asked the slightly less chubby cop.

Thats right. Im street magician Zane Xenon. Youre being filmed, right now. I pointed in various random directions.

The crowds interest dissipated like morning fog in the sunshine as the words street magician spread through the air. Is there anything less attractive than a man who does non-consensual card tricks in public?

Do you have a performers licence? asked the other cop.

Sure, talk to my manager. I pointed at where the driver had been standing a moment ago, but he was gone. At least that was one problem less I had to deal with.

Mah face. Wha happened to mah face. The homeless man was still in shock. A moment ago, hed been struck by a rock. Now, he had the looks of a mid-70s Rod Stewart. I mean, it wasnt pretty, but it was definitely a step up from Kirkpatrick Kiltshitter.

Its okay, shows over, I said to my reluctant assistant. You get back and Ill see you later. I slipped a handful of coins into his sporran (at least I hope thats what it was) and sent him on his way.

Youll have to show us your licence or Ill have to give you a ticket.

I was fine with getting a ticket. Worth it if I could get away from Archies goon.

Hold on, said the other cop, who had his phone out now. I got a hit.

Someone in the crowd? asked his partner.

Suddenly, the crowd looked shifty, moving out of the eye-line of the phone.

No. This one. Hes a missing person. Went missing four years ago.

Is that some kind of facial recognition? I asked, fascinated by how much things had changed. Isnt it illegal?

You can opt out, said the phone-wielding policeman. Have you opted out?

Obviously, I hadnt. No. Can I do it now?

Noob, said someone in the crowd.

I cant say it didnt hurt. Used to be, you had to be crap at a game to be called a noob. Now, apparently, you had to be good at life, too. Kind of hard for those of us who hadnt even passed the tutorial.

I got a flag on it. Look. The two policemen peered at the phone screen.

What does it mean?

He was blond and weirdly muscular on the top half of his body, so his suit looked abnormally wide.

Sorry about the delay. Busy day. Let me get the introductions out of the way. Im Detective Sergeant Len Seymour, and my colleague here is Detective Constable Esposito. He indicated the dark-haired man to his left.

Esposito gave me a curt wave as he sat down opposite me and opened a small laptop.

DC Esposito will be recording our conversation on this computer, and youre welcome to a copy at the end of this interview. We can put it onto a memory stick if youve got one with you or we can provide you with one for a nominal charge. Or we can just email it to you. DS Seymour drummed the table with his fingers. Whatevers best for you.

I dont remember, I said.

Sorry? said DS Seymour.

Ive been performing street magic to survive for the last four years. I have no recollection of what happened before that.

Poor bastard, muttered Esposito. I wasnt sure if he was sympathising with my amnesia or my line of work.

This was what I had come up with, the Oliver North defence. Memory gone. No idea who I was or what Id done.

I see, said DS Seymour. Then, why dont we find out together?

Can I have a lawyer? This was my second line of defence.

Uh, you arent under arrest, you know that, right? We just want to help you find out what happened four years ago.

I have the right to have a lawyer present, dont I?

Yeees. He didnt seem overly enthusiastic.

Do you do some sort of martial arts? I asked him.

He looked confused. Sorry, what?

The way you move, it suggests youve had training. Martial arts, I would guess. Possibly dancing.

His confusion flickered to admiration for a moment.

It wasnt really that impressive. Id been around enough fighters to recognise the tells. The idiotic swagger, the awkward posture due to overdeveloped muscles, the teeth pushing into the lower lip as they imagined dominating the guy in front of them so they could prove their dad wrong. He was textbook.

Actually, yeah. I do a little Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Of course he did. The martial arts for every man who needs to be hugged but cant bring himself to ask a friend.

If I could get this guy to attack me, perhaps that would help my latent power emerge once more. Just had to provoke him into losing his temper. How hard could that be?

If we could just get back to the matter in hand, Colin alright if I call you Colin? Is there any particular reason you feel you need legal representation, Colin?

Yes, I have a strong dislike of policemen. I think one might have done things to me as a child. Like I said, my memorys very hazy.

Well, okay, Im sorry to hear that, but do you have a solicitor you can call. It might take some time for us to find a

There was a knock on the door. Sharp and insistent.

DS Seymour got up and opened it. There was a woman standing there, looking pissed off.

And you are? said DS Seymour.

Cherry Hinton. Im his lawyer.

Which was news to me.