Chapter 100: He who holds the horn. (5)

Chapter 100: He who holds the horn. (5)

“Please follow me, Countess Vritara, the Crown Princess will see you now.”

A maid bowed deeply to Alice, who finished the cup of tea she had been given and put it down before she got up from the couch. She’d arrived at the palace so early that Abigail had still been in the process of getting ready for the day so she had been guided to a salon so that she may enjoy some refreshments as she waited.

Another maid, who had been quietly waiting in the back, stepped forward to clean away the tea as Alice was guided through the halls of the palace. There was an unusual silence hanging in the air of the palace, a subdued gloom that seemed to suffuse each breath.

“I wish you a pleasant chat, please ring the bell should you desire any further refreshments to be delivered.”

Rather than the usual garden where Alice and Abigail met, the maid brought Alice to Abigail’s room, bowing respectfully as she opened the door and stepped aside. Looking inside, Alice could see where the subdued gloom that hung over the palace came from.

“You’ve let yourself go, Abigail.”

Alice spoke plainly as she entered the room, closing the door behind her so that it was only the two of them. The room really was rather messy, Abigail had brought in a large table, one that you would usually only see within one’s office, and placed it in the center of the room. Papers and books were strewn across the table, and on the floor around it, words and drawings scrawled on each of them.

Abigail was sitting at the desk, her elbow leaning on the table as she rested her head in her hand while looking at the papers. She had just been done up for the day so her hair and clothes were neat, but Alice could see the pale shade that covered her skin, the dark bags hidden beneath layers of makeup.

The amber eyes that rose to look at Alice had taken on a light shade of red from how bloodshot they were. The light within them was rather dark, the gloom that swallowed the palace spewed from them unceasingly. Abigail looked miserable, her shoulders so slumped that she seemed to be carrying the world itself.

“Alice... Have you come to return to our conversation from that day?”

Abigail rubbed her eyes wearily as she spoke, pushing aside some of the papers she had been working on. She’d been pushing it ever since she peered into the established flow of time. Well, it hadn’t really been that long honestly, but it felt like several lifetimes. She felt heavy, like she was sinking deeper and deeper. But above all... She felt alone.

“In a way. There are things I wish to ask. And seeing your state, there are things I wish to say. Is it an opportune time?”

Alice spoke in a questioning tone, but her posture as she dragged over a chair and sat down made it clear that she hadn’t come here just to leave empty-handed.

“Ask away, there’s no one but me around.”

Abigail almost sounded somewhat bleak as she spoke, a low and dull chuckle almost rolling out from her throat. She’d really tried to get Alice to understand the situation after she peered into the flow of time, the severity of their current conundrum. But Alice still made her choice, and Abigail expected that to be the last they would see of each other. But seeing her taking the initiative to come here to discuss it... She would be lying if she said that it didn’t ignite a spark of hope.

“You spoke of possible futures, all of them converging on the here and now. I assume you spoke of this because of what Teresa said at the investiture, the strange things she saw, heard, and felt, right? Were those fragments of one such possible future?”

Alice had things she wanted to say, things she wanted to ask, but first she had to line up the facts that she had. Abigail gave a slow nod of her head, so Alice knew she was on the right track, pressing on.

“I’ve had a few strange dreams in the past days, nonsensical scenes of me and Caine, and occasionally you as well. Can I assume that these are also possible futures trying to impose themselves on the present?”

Alice still remembered it oh-so vividly, that disgusting sensation swarming her as she slept. The feeling of her body not listening to her as she was forced to be a spectator trapped within her own flesh, as foreign emotions splattered across her insides with each beating of a tainted heart. It was sickening.

“... Correct. The world isn’t sure which one to pick since they’re all so likely to come to pass so some of them are squeezing into the cracks caused by the pressure.”

There was a trace of hesitation as Abigail spoke and gave a heavy nod. She wasn’t being entirely honest, but how could she? She couldn’t tell Alice about the loop, about the repeated attempts trying to break into their current one. To speak of the loop was the second-greatest taboo of the loop, dragging in those not related to its creation could cause the entire thing to evaporate.

Abigail’s other hand rose to her face, her thumb nestling between her lips as she started to chew on her nail. Her head hurt, and not just because she had looked at the established flow of time. Parts of her memory were empty, scattered and broken. Since she looked into the flow of time, she knew of the loops that she shouldn’t have experienced yet. Parts of the memories entered her since she had once been part of those loops, but it wasn’t complete. So her mind tried to supplement what she couldn’t remember with what she knew, creating chimeric memories that felt like nails scraping against her brain.

She didn’t know about them, yet she did. She had been in them, yet she had not. Why didn’t she know, how didn’t she know? And above all... Why hadn’t he told her? Why hadn’t he just talked to her?

Alice could see a few questions swimming about within Abigail’s eyes, the pain that gnawed at her insides. But even so, she asked her own questions, the time for comforting could come later.

“I see, I expected as much after our last talk. But tell me, Abigail, did you come to this world willingly or did something else bring you here?”This chapter was first shared on the Ñøv€lß1n platform.

Alice looked straight at Abigail as she questioned her, spoke directly to the one within that had usurped the original Abigail. The lips chewing on the fingernail came to an abrupt halt, the amber pupils trembling fiercely as her breath seemed to get caught in her chest.

“...Ah... I...”

Abigail struggled to let out her breath, much less her words. How did she know? Had she seen something in the dreams? Had one of the gods intervened and spoken to her? Or had Azuras somehow messed with things again? The urgent questions swam around in her head, but Alice simply locked eyes with her and looked straight at her.

“Answer me, Abigail. Why did you come here?”

Alice needed to know, how she would proceed from here hinged entirely on the answer Abigail gave.

Abigail flapped her lips a few time, some strangled sounds slipping out occasionally. But Alice’s gaze never let up, so confident that it pierced into Abigail. She really knew, Alice had really learned the truth.

“...I was offered a deal, by the original Abigail and the one who, at the time, served as the god of time. There was a world that needed saving, so if I agreed to take over the body of Abigail and helped save the world then they would fulfill my wish.”

“No. The medium that let me see parts of this world were all the memories of the original Abigail so I only saw things that she focused on. Caine... He did not mean as much to her as the rest of the country and the citizen, he was just another man in the endless sea of people she had to protect.”

Yes, in the memories she received from the original Abigail, there was barely anything about Caine. She never even looked at him properly. When the original Abigail reached out along with Kaisel to find someone that could take over her body and save the world, it wasn’t because she loved Caine or someone else in particular. No, the original Abigail simply loved this world, this empire, her citizens.

If it meant saving them, she was willing to abandon her own body and use her soul as a sacrifice to entice the gods into creating the time loop. The original Abigail was the base of it all, the current Abigail was just the one that had been tied to it to protect the empire that was oh-so loved.

Being filled with so much love for the empire, how could the original Abigail not be loved in return? The current Abigail got to experience that for herself when she took over.

“But Caine loved Abigail, I got to learn that first hand when I came and took over this body. And I... profited on that love, I took it for myself.”

She had seen it as she interacted with Caine more after coming here. The way he looked at her, the tone of his voice, his actions. She didn’t recognize it at first, but she learned it in the end. Love. Caine loved Abigail, he looked at her with nothing but the warmest of love.

“Really... I’m just horrible...”

And the current Abigail had sucked it all in, taken it all for herself. The warm looks, the loving touch, the gentle words, she greedily drank it all. That which she had never received before, she took it all from someone else. Gods how she occasionally hated herself when she thought that none of those looks were for her.

“That brother of yours, do you still think of him?”

Despite Abigail’s mutter, Alice actually changed the topic back to her family. Her voice was almost a little sharp, prying even. But Abigail answered honestly. She wanted to talk about it, she wanted to finally tell someone. She wanted someone to know just how horrible she was, perhaps then she would be able to breathe a little easier.

“How could I not? I never even got to say a proper farewell, they just whisked me away one day while I was on a mission. What became of him after? How did he grow up? What color did he acquire in the end? I never got to see it. I wanted to help him find a better life once it was all over, once we had some peace, before I had to go. But I never got that chance, and instead I just ended up abandoning him all alone in that horrible life.”

They took her when she was out on a mission. Cracked open the air in front of her and said that it was time, not giving her a chance to even send back a message. Was there even a body left behind? Did her cute little brother even have something he could say goodbye to, something he could curse at for leaving him alone in that miserable world? She didn’t know.

“Some nights, I wake up because I dream of him. I showed him parts of the memories through the medium that I was given, a TV. I didn’t tell him anything about it, but I wanted him to at least be able to see where I would end up in the end, I wanted him to see that I too would end up happy. But then I just ended up abandoning him like that.”

One day, she would have to leave him. She knew that from the moment she agreed to the contract. But even so, she wanted him to know that she was happy somewhere. He might not know that it was her, but he would know that she was happy. She hoped that it would make it easier, but deep inside she knew that it was just a vain hope.

That was why she sometimes woke up at night, cold sweat covering her body. She dreamt of him, the truth hidden behind the veil of a vain hope. And then she cried and questioned herself.

“Tell me, Alice, because I don’t know the answer. Is it fair that I am happy here while he is forced to suffer alone over there?”

Once again, Abigail’s voice was bleak. She had gained a lot here in this world, she was truly happy here. But the life she had abandoned would never leave her, the truth would forever haunt her, lurking beneath every happy moment.

And she deserved it, that stinging pain in her chest, the constant knowledge. And now, she would deserve the condemnation she would get from Alice, finally there would be someone who could curse at her for what she had done. But the curses never came.

“I’m glad, Abigail. Truly.”

Abigail’s gaze naturally found Alice, who was smiling brightly, warmly even. Alice leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table as she folded her hands and rested her chin on top of them.

“In the future I saw, you and Caine did not wish for me to be happy. I had apparently done too much, too many times, so I did not deserve happiness.”

The words she heard in the dream would never leave her. Caine had called her a monster, unsure if he wanted her to be happy after everything she had done. But they could always just try again, and perhaps there might be a life where even the undeserving her gets a smidgen of happiness. Really, what a cruel curse that was. But oh-well. Thinking about what greeted her after she woke from that vision, she could blow away all her thoughts regarding that dream.

“But I am happy, Abigail, and I will only become happier with Gabriel. And it won’t be just me, I’ll make sure he becomes happy too, happier than we could have been in any of the possible futures you’re trying so hard to choose between on your lonesome.”

Yes. They may not have wished her to be happy, but she had become happy. She didn’t need them to give her happiness, she didn’t need Abigail to sit here in her room, pouring over possible futures as she desperately tried to choose the best one on her own. She’d acquire her own happiness along with the man she chose.

But oh well, the man she had chosen had taught her a little bit too well so she had become someone hard to please. She wasn’t satisfied until she achieved everything she wanted. And looking at Abigail, there was something she wanted.

“But you know what, Abigail? I actually consider you something of a friend. You’ve been good to me over the years, You’ve always tried to help. And I liked your answers. So you know what, Abigail? I would like it if you were happy too.”

From their first meeting at the spirit awakening to now, Abigail had always done everything she could to help Alice. She had done everything in her power to ensure that Alice ended up happy. Was it because of the futures she had seen? Was it because of something else? In the end, did it even matter since Abigail was trying to make her happy?

Alice rose from her seat, looking down at a clearly confused, or perhaps dumbfounded, Abigail. She had gotten the answers she wanted and learned what she came for so she could leave with a light heart. But before that, she may as well sell out Caine by using what she had seen in the dream. If she and Abigail are to become family in the future after she married Gabriel, then Caine and Abigail could stand to learn a thing or two from them.

“Caine knows, Abigail. He knows that you’re not Abigail, he’s known from the start. The one he looked at with love was never Abigail, but you.”

Was it true? Well, Alice honestly didn’t know. Even if that dream was a possible future, what if the current Caine didn’t know what that Caine knew? Well, it didn’t really matter. All Caine and Abigail needed was to sit down and have a proper chat, speaking to each other honestly like Alice and Gabriel always did. Keeping things hidden just made for pointless drama. And thus, Alice taught Abigail what Gabriel had taught her.

“You shouldn’t stew here in misery all alone, thinking about it all alone. Go and talk to Caine, speak to him honestly, tell him what you w ant. The seventh tenet of a good person is to never lie to your allies. And if he won’t listen, pester him until he is forced to listen. Tie him to a chair if you have to, chain him down until he can no longer escape, force him to hear you out. That’s third tenet, it is do everything you can if there is something you wish to acquire. So go and acquire him.”

She turned and walked away as she spoke, Abigail’s amber pupils trembling so fiercely that it almost looked like her eyes would pop out. But when her hand finally reached out, Alice had already left the room and closed the door behind her.