Chapter 836

"Once for a long time, as long as I closed my eyes, it was the terrible picture of that night! I'm not sure if I can really come out of the shadow. So when you proposed to go back to China, I didn't go with you. I didn't go for my career, but I needed time. I needed more time to face

... "

In the past four years, she stayed in New York alone, not only missing him every day and night, but also trying to let herself not be bothered by those shadows. But after all, such things are scars that can't be healed for women.

It took song Jiaren a long time to talk about it, and then she slowly said again, "Jason, he..." "After returning home, I realized that there was no way for us to go back. Jason pursued me for many years, and I was left alone in New York. He always asked for help. He knew that after I killed myself for you, I still cared about me. I wanted to have a new start, so I agreed to his proposal!" "Before I decided to get the license, I told him that he would not have children. If he accepted, we would get married. He promised me at that time and respected my choice! During his honeymoon in Maldives, he found out my secret in that respect. I think that since I am a husband and wife, I should not hide something, so I told him everything, thinking that his feelings towards me can be tolerated... " Song Jiaren laughed at herself, and the tears that had just fallen on her face had been wiped dry by her hands, leaving only the moist corners of her eyes and the astringent voice, "I don't blame Jason for what he said, but I'm sorry for him! I'm more sorry for him. I understand all his anger. So I didn't promise to call the police when you and miss sang came home! " "I'm a woman who can't give birth normally, not just him. Any man with me, even if he loves me any more, thinks that I have been so many foreign men for other men It also leads to the loss of the uterus and the inability to conceive a child, even the test tube baby can't do it, and the heart will be less than br >

uncomfortable, there is no way to accept it! "

At the end of the last word, there was only the sound of the infusion tube falling down every two seconds in the ward, and the silence seemed very long.

Qin Sinian's peach blossom eyes were covered with black, and the cells were panting wildly. Like a stiff sculpture, he sat on the chair and never changed his posture.

The protruding Adam's apple rolled up and down for several times before finally making a sound, "beauty, why have you never told me? Four years later, when you return home, you never say a word! "

Even when she chose to end her life, she never told him "I don't want your guilt!" Song Jiaren shook her head and shook her head heavily. "Think of new year, I also have my own pride. When I came back from New York, I wanted your love, not your sympathy! If you agree to start afresh with me because you sympathize with me, I would rather not have such impure feelings! "

Qin Sinian never thought that there would be such a connection behind the revenge. From his return to China to so many years ago, he never knew it. Song Jiaren had the intention to hide it. If it wasn't for this domestic violence, he would probably never know it in his whole life!

He always thought that four years ago, song Jiaren didn't choose to go back to China with herself. She just didn't want to give up her ballet career, but she didn't think there was such a heavy reason

If song Jiaren told him about it when she returned home, would the situation be different now?

Would he choose to start over with her?

After four years of marriage, will he really let go of Sang Xiaoyu's hand?

The answer is No.

Qin Sinian is very clear about this cognition. As early as when he chose to go back to China, he sorted out all his feelings. Once he left, he would have no future. Even if he later learned the truth, he could not let go of his wife Qin

On the back of the hand, the blue tendons jumped up, and the only words that could be sent out were "I'm sorry, beauty."

Want to tell thousands of words, to the end, there are only three words. "No, Si Nian, you don't have to say sorry to me!" Song Jiaren said astringently, "if I can, I want to hide this matter from you all my life! But it just backfired. Now that you know it, what I want to tell you is that these things have passed, I have come out of the shadow for a long time, and this is my own thing. You don't need to blame yourself or feel guilty! "

Song Jiaren unclenched her fist and said slowly, "as for the matter between me and Jason, I will deal with it, and it has nothing to do with you!"

"Beauty..." Qin Sinan's deep voice is hoarse, and all he can say is "I'm sorry!"

How can we not blame ourselves, how can we not feel guilty?

If it wasn't for saving him, song Jiaren would not suffer that kind of torture. After returning home, she was rejected by him and even chose to commit suicide to end her life. Finally, in order to forget that he chose to reopen a new relationship, she agreed to Jason's proposal in a hurry, which turned into the current domestic violence

These initial triggers are all due to his relationship. His chest is full of stuffy and stuffy emotions, and there is no place to release them.

Song Jia Ren shook her head again and said firmly, "I said, you don't need to blame yourself or feel guilty. It has been so many years since I came out! Si Nian, promise me not to say sorry again! "

Qin Sinai thin lips into a thin line, dark eyes.

Song Jiaren glanced out of the window and smiled at him. She said, "it's not early, I have nothing to do! Miss sang must be waiting for you at home. Go back quickly! "

Hear "Miss sang" three words, Qin Sinai peach blossom eyes have bright fretting.

After a moment of silence, Qin Sinan got up from his chair and moved to the door of the ward as stiff as his body.

"Think of New Year!"

Qin Sinan opens the door.

Song Jiaren lowered her apricot eyes and grasped her hands on the quilt. Her voice was very light, but she could also hear the trembling inside. "This matter is very Shame is the biggest stain in my life! You can bury it in your heart as a secret. I don't want a third person to know, can I? "

How can he say no?

Qin Sinan's Adam's apple rolled, his voice was like an ancient temple bell, "I promise you."

……

The sky is red like fire, surrounded by deserts, like there is no end. Sang Xiaoyu was struggling. The yellow sand was flying all over the sky, and the grains of sand got into her neck and mouth and scraped her skin.