Chapter 153: The Revealed Pain

Chapter 153: The Revealed Pain

I I misunderstood.

Huh?

Haruka showed a puzzled expression, unable to read my intentions. However, I continued regardless.

When I first saw you in high school, I was shocked. You were beautiful, kind, and to top it off, the daughter of a company president I was astounded that someone could be so blessed by the heavens.

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Upon hearing my genuine first impression, Haruka groaned in embarrassment.

It wasnt an attempt to flatter her, but a genuine feeling. At that moment, I truly believed I was in the presence of an angel.

So, I positioned her as someone almost divine in my mind.

The scenery I saw with you was so bright and the world seemed so rosy Thats what I thought.

Back then, I measured the world based on simple specifications. Beautiful people, geniuses, athletes their lives seemed to shine just by existing. I wholeheartedly believed that.

But now, Im convinced that was a colossal mistake. Not just me, but probably almost everyone around our age and in the Shijouin family must have been mistaken too.

Even those girls who had tormented Haruka since childhood must have harbored feelings like Its unfair for the princess who monopolizes this beautiful world. People tend to believe that the privileged have it easy.

With that conviction I thought. Even though you acknowledge my proposal as valid, why do you still consider quitting work such a taboo? What reason could there be for you to keep working, even keeping your current situation from your parents?

In the dream, the high schooler Haruka had evaluated my adult self and said, A child who wants to become an adult and is trying too hard. If that perspective was correct, what did Haruka envision as this adult she yearned to be?

Reflecting on Harukas personality and the behavior of the adult Haruka, there was only one answer.

Haruka You believe youre a person without worth, dont you?

.!

But in this first world, Haruka had grown up without any of that. She had deepened her despair, believing that she, who should have been normal, couldnt even attain a fragment of it.

Someone like me, who cant grasp what they want, is somewhere wrong! Theres something missing! I I truly hate myself!

So you fixated on being an adult.'

Yes.

Harukas eyes were faintly moist.

Tears welled up, awaiting the curse she would unleash in the heat of her emotions.

I tried to become a proper person who works earnestly and contributes to society. Even if I, whos empty inside, could at least become a respectable adult, I thought I might come to like myself a bit more. Even if I couldnt navigate life well, I thought I could become someone, something, that could exist anywhere!

As if this alone were her salvation, Haruka shouted.

If I lose even this, then I truly have nothing! Even if I face hardships as an adult Once I run away, this cowardly and slothful me might end up depending on my overly kind family and might never summon the courage to try again!

Being an adult required a role. If you ran away from the difficulty of that role even once, you werent an adult. The adult you werent, didnt even possess the last remaining shard of value.

It was a thought I too had harbored to some extent. The fear of becoming something, someone, of value that was also one of the reasons I couldnt quit my corporate job.

So, I cant quit my job! Because Im going to work now, I can barely forgive myself! If I run away even once, I I!

Unable to contain the self-loathing that had swelled to its limit, Haruka shouted. This was what she had carried in her heart. The already self-punishing girl had let these thoughts fester until she reached this point.

It was painfully poignant, but

Honestly, I cant just stand by.

Huh

Tears streamed down Harukas cheeks. Facing Haruka, who was overcome by self-revulsion, I took a step forward.

TLN: No chapter tomorrow, but I fill the queue the following day.