CH 5.1

Chapter 5 (part 1)

Without further ado, Ning Wan picked up Fu Zheng and Liu Guizhen, who was holding onto the chicken, bright and early the next morning. The three piled into the car and drove to the chicken farm located in the suburbs.

Everything went very smoothly since Ning Wan had already contacted the owner of the farm in advance. The only wrench was Liu Guizhen suddenly getting cold feet.

"I... I don't want to go in after all."

Ning Wan pressed her anxiously. "Auntie Liu, you..." The whole thing was nearly over and done with. Were they going to back out now?

"No, no, Lawyer Ning, I'd still like you to castrate the chicken, but I... I can't go in..." Liu Guizhen shook her head repeatedly. "I can't look at blood. Even killing a fish at home is beyond me, if I had to watch a rooster being castrated, I'm afraid that..."

Hearing her explanation, Ning Wan breathed a sigh of relief. "Then don't worry, auntie," she said generously. "You don't have to accompany us. There is a farmer's market to the west. Why don't you go and browse a little? We'll call you when everything's over."

"But the chicken..."

"Fu Zheng will hold onto him."

Liu Guizhen immediately stuffed the rooster into Fu Zheng's arms and turned away happily.

Fu Zheng had been wearing a mask ever since entering the chicken farm. Alas, the odor arising from the chicken farm was still such that he was on the verge of rising up to heaven right there on the spot. Then, just as he was certain that he was right now in the worst moment of his life, life once again hit him hard with a reassurance that things could still get worse...

As he was trying desperately to hold his breath, disaster occurred, and before he could even react a warm, heavy chicken with the fresh smell of excrement was unloaded into his arms... Fu Zheng felt for a moment like both his mental and physical health had been beaten down badly.

Ning Wan didn't give a damn about Fu Zheng's mental health. She walked into the capon master's barn, then turned and called, "What are you doing, standing there all dazed? Come in! "

……

Fu Zheng took in a deep breath. He glanced at the chicken he was carrying. Holding it carefully, he moved into the barn. Internally, he was trying his best to build up his own mental strength. It's okay, Fu Zheng, relax, soon the chicken will be anesthetized and castrated. Then this nightmare will be over. Persistence is victory...

Alas, reality never lives up to one's ideals.

"Come hold the chicken down! Hang on tight to it, it might struggle when being castrated."

Fu Zheng raised his eyes to Ning Wan in shock, "Aren't we going to anesthetize it?"

"Anesthetic, Master Fu? Do you think that chickens are like pets, as delicate as cats and dogs?" Ning Wan turned a laughing look on him. "Have you any idea how many roosters there are in a chicken farm, and how many the owner has to castrate a day?

"You probably don't even know why chicken farms neuter their roosters."

"I know." Fu Zheng licked his lips. "To prevent such a large crowd of roosters from crowing and disturbing the peace."

"Hahahaha!" Ning Wan jeered, gazing on him in ridicule. "You're seriously a sheltered little young master."

"Why would anyone need to stop the crowing around this remote farm? There's no residential area anywhere for miles. The neutering of roosters shifts the balance of their hormones, making the chickens more docile. Since they're no longer aggressive, they become much more sedentary, leading to muscle loss, increase in fat and weight, and a huge gain in meat quality!"

“……”

"Alright now, hurry and hold the chicken down! All the chickens on the farm are castrated when they're just cockerels, and back then the master can hold them down one-handed. But ours is full-grown and can no longer be held down with one hand, so he'll need your help. Don't forget, hold it down! If it struggles and gets free during the procedure and bites you, I won't be able to save you!"

“……”

A partner with an hourly salary of 8,000 yuan, an all-rounded talent, a globally scarce resource, a senior lawyer who could cancel an appointment with a client just because he didn't feel like it that day. And this woman was actually squandering his talents on holding down a chicken??? Fu Zheng felt almost suffocated.

Unfortunately, Ning Wan didn't notice. She was looking around and eventually brought him an apron. "Here, take off your suit jacket and put this on."

Fu Zheng glanced at the none-too-clean apron and refused. "No need."

An elegant and distinguished man couldn't possibly put on such unsanitary clothes. Even if life forced him to do something so indecent as to hold down a chicken, Fu Zheng firmly believed that his innate temperament would make him stylish no matter how much of a mess he was1.

Just to the side, Ning Wan clasped her hands together and was whispering softly to the chicken, as if pumping it up for the upcoming surgery. "Brother Chicken, though in the future you will no longer be complete in your masculinity, this will save your life. It is absolutely worth the sacrifice."

Her voice became softer after that, and Fu Zheng edged a little closer. He made out what she was saying--

"Also, if you feel like a debt has to be paid, remember that it's this man who's holding you down, not me, so don't peck me later, please..."

"..." Fu Zheng felt numb. Wasn't she being too arrogant? He was standing right here!

……

When they finally emerged from the chicken farm, Fu Zheng felt as if he had died once.

Ning Wan had not been wrong. The rooster was fierce and full-grown. It had been alright when held to the chest, but as soon as it had been pressed down onto the workbench, it had become aware of the danger it was in and begun to fight back. For a while, chicken feathers had flown all around and his ears filled with screeches. Fu Zheng, who cared a great deal about his image and was obsessed with elegance, had at first decided that even in the adversity of being at a chicken farm, a man should still stay calm and cool.

However, the final reality was that--

"Ning Wan! Help me hold this chicken down! "

"Ning Wan!!! Hurry up and help, quick!!! Ning Wan!! Where are you?!?”

"It got loose!!”

"It's going to peck me! Help me stop it!"

"Ning Wan!!!!!!”

……

Though the entire process had taken only ten minutes, Fu Zheng felt as though he had lived through a century.

No wonder there was so much depressing literature out there claiming that "Waiting is life's first old age". Perhaps those emo kids2 had great wisdom after all. He felt ten years older.

And tired.

So tired.

He was more exhausted than if he had just handled a case worth millions of dollars.

To destroy a man, don't attack his body, but destroy his spirit. Fu Zheng looked down at his suit jacket, once again covered in feathers and excrement, and felt like he had almost been destroyed.