CH 29.2

Sure enough, one of the ladies looked at Fu Zheng, looked back at Ning Wan, and attempted, "Lawyer Xiao Ning, is your handsome colleague by any chance single?"

Was Fu Zheng some sort of bloody magnet for middle-aged and elderly women? Why was it that the moment each one laid eyes on him they immediately hit on him? Was he a succubus reincarnated?

But though she complained and grumbled inside, Ning Wan was Fu Zheng's lawyer mentor, and she felt like she was obligated to solve these problems for him. She couldn't let him go through the whole Auntie Xiao farce again!

Fu Zheng was still in the midst of talking to Auntie Xiao at the moment. Gazing at them, Ning Wan had a lightning-flash stroke of genius. Why not play along?

"My colleague is already seeing someone! He's taken!"

The moment she said this, the eyes of the two ladies changed. "He isn't single?!”

"Do you know who it is?" One of them sized Ning Wan up. "Is it you, Lawyer Xiao Ning?"

"Oh no, not me." Ning Wan patted her calmly on the shoulder. "Do you see that auntie next to my colleague?"

"I see her."

"That's the lady my colleague is with."

? ? ?

Sure enough, the looks on the two ladies' faces collapsed. "This... this... this woman looks even older than us! And... and so much older than your colleague! How are they together?"

Ning Wan assessed their expressions, and felt like this wave of bombs had done nearly enough damage. One more fatal blow ought to wipe out the little bit of worship for Fu Zheng in their hearts. "My colleague likes them old! He says that the older they are, the deeper the vintage, just like a fine wine1."

The two ladies looked at each other, their three views obviously crumbling from their faces.

"Let's not even mention me," she hinted hard, "Even you, auntie, are far too young and callow for my colleague's tastes!"

"This... but this... this fine young man is so talented, he...."

"His girlfriend is talented too!" Afraid that the two ladies wouldn't give up and would attempt to steal Fu Zheng away, Ning Wan hastened to add, "She's the square dance leader of our community!"

The two looked as though they would like to die...

Ning Wan couldn't help but wonder what was going on in the heads of middle-aged ladies. Love was only a small part of life! You don't have to seek death just from losing a potential object of pursuit.

She patted their shoulders and comforted earnestly, "In short, there isn't really any chance of victory against my colleague's current girlfriend. Besides, if the two of you want to have a place in our community's square dance group, you still have to get on well with her..."

As if to verify her words about Fu Zheng and Auntie Xiao, it was at this point in time that Auntie Xiao stuffed the daisies into Fu Zheng's hand and reluctantly said goodbye.

Ning Wan jumped on the opportunity, pretended to be envious, and said, "Look at that! They get on so well. If one isn't giving flowers, the other one is. It's not even flirting anymore, they're madly in love! Other ladies in the community have tried to get in between, but every one of them has failed!"

She figured that this should be enough for them to get the picture.

But for some unknown reason, these two ladies just wouldn't give up. "But... Lawyer Xiao Ning, this... this girlfriend, how is he going to take her home? Why... she's probably older than your colleague's mother! How will they even be addressed as? And at that age, this woman must have been married before! They don't match at all."

"Auntie, you're being too narrow-minded! Why don't they match? My colleague is single and unmarried, and his girlfriend is single and widowed. It's a match made in heaven! As for how the future mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will get along, I think you're worrying too much. Since there isn't much difference in age between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they can bond like sisters. There won't be any generation gap at all. People of the same age have more in common and a better understanding of each other. The whole family will live happily ever after!"

“……”

With these words hanging in the air, the two middle-aged ladies lost all their illusions. They turned their heads to look at each other, both appearing as though they had been shocked to the point of numbness. They seemed to mutually empathize with each other's complete devastation, then something passed between their gazes, and they seemed to sink into a deep and desolate sea of sorrow...

At around this time, Fu Zheng finally came back in. Since Auntie Xiao had halted him halfway, he had a bunch of daisies in his hand and his face was rather dark. But for whatever reason, even though the two middle-aged ladies had just been praising him to the skies, when they saw him approaching they jumped up in respect strangely belied by fear. Not only did they not dare to look him in the eye, but they even seemed a little subservient.

"Lawyer Xiao Ning, thank you. Today's consultation was very useful. I have something to take care of, so I'll head out!"

"I have something to do, too! Goodbye!"

……

The two middle-aged ladies fled the premises. Fu Zheng, on the other hand, seemed quite calm. He put down the milk tea and said, "I'll see these two guests off."

Then he followed them out grimly. It didn't look as though he was sending off a guest, but more like he was sending them to their deaths...

Fu Zheng intercepted his two aunts at the corner of the intersection.

Seeing that they had been exposed, his two aunts simply admitted, "Zheng Zheng, we heard your cousin Ying Ying mention that you've been going undercover in the harsh rural community environment of late, and we were particularly curious about our future niece-in-law, so we thought we would come over and take a look around..."

Zhou Yingying, that little brat, was truly tired of living.

Fu Zheng lost his temper. "What future niece-in-law? When did I get a girlfriend? I myself don't even know about her!"

He rubbed his temples. "Me being here in the community is a long story. Let me ask you, does anyone else know about this?"

"Of course not, don't worry," Fu Zheng's eldest aunt said soothingly, "I've already told your second aunt, third aunt, fourth aunt, and the other wives2 to keep it secret!"

That really makes people feel at ease, Fu Zheng thought...

It wasn't over yet. His eldest and second aunts exchanged glances, then with a very awkward look of discomfiture, she continued, "Also, um, there are some things you don't have to hide from us. We already know all about it. Though our family has always been very tolerant and accepting..."

Sympathy was written all over his eldest aunt's face. "Your aunt still has a word of advice for you. Although 'marrying a mature woman is like having bricks of gold3', in this case there might be a few too many... there are at least seven or eight gold bricks here... you do still have to consider whether or not your mother will be able to handle it..."

His second aunt chimed in, also full of pity. "Zheng Zheng, I didn't expect being a lawyer to be so difficult. You know, when people are under great pressure, they usually either burst out or become a little strange. How much stress must you be under to have become like this?"

The two of them patted Fu Zheng on his shoulders with complicated looks on their faces. "Think it over carefully for yourself, but this really won't work."

Had everyone lost their minds today? Fu Zheng was completely baffled. He simply couldn't figure it out, first Auntie Xiao, then both his aunts? What was this all about?

He didn't find out the answer until he had seen his aunts off and returned to the office.

Ning Wan was eagerly awaiting his return at the desk. When she saw him come back, she immediately rushed up to take credit, her face full of pride--

"Fu Zheng, you have to thank me!"

Fu Zheng frowned, puzzled. "What?"

"Those two aunties you just saw off!" Ning Wan winked at him. "They weren't really here for a consult. You can tell at a glance that..."

Internally, Fu Zheng was alarmed. Had Ning Wan found out his aunts' identity? How could she have been so discerning?

But before he could think too much, he heard her say proudly--

"They were here to hit on you!"

“……”

Ning Wan, you are blind.

Unfortunately, Ning Wan didn't see the complex look in Fu Zheng's expression. She rubbed her chin and mused, "I say, did you notice that those two middle-aged ladies actually both look a bit like you, if you look carefully? Do you think this is the legendary 'husband and wife appearance', where people are attracted to people who look like them? Is that why those two aunties were so attracted to you? Maybe humans have an instinct where people who look alike automatically want to become family?"

“……”

Thank you. We are already family. Those were my aunts.

But before Fu Zheng could fully recover, Ning Wan continued proudly. "But don't worry! I smothered their devious plans in the cradle."

Fu Zheng managed to squeeze out with difficulty, "What did you say?"

She looked at him triumphantly. "What else could I have said?" she explained. "Weren't you standing right there with Auntie Xiao? I just gave the boat a little push with the current... Of course I said that you were already taken4!"

This time, Fu Zheng finally understood what his aunts had meant.

He felt like he could pull off an impromptu performance of dying on the spot.

As if this wasn't enough, Ning Wan gave him a little nudge, grinning and asking for praise. "You don't have to thank me for my kindness, but you should at least say something! I did my best!"

Fu Zheng choked on the words. Finally, under Ning Wan's encouraging eyes, he managed to eke out a dry, humiliated "Thank you"...

He never in his life thought that one day he would kneel down in tears to thank his own rumor-monger. How humbling and degrading. Ning Wan had been right, losing one's dignity was just like filming porn. Once you take your clothes off, you really couldn't put them back on again...

Ning Wan stretched leisurely before picking up the cup of milk tea. "Ahh, I've finally chased away all your rotten suitors. You don't know this, but saying you were already taken was just something that hit me at the spur of the moment5. I didn't expect it to actually work. Oh my God, the expressions on their faces, haha..."

Fu Zheng also wanted to laugh out loud in dissatisfaction in his heart. He endured and endured, but finally could no longer bear it. When Ning Wan inserted the straw into the milk tea, he snatched it from her hand and took a huge, spiteful gulp.

Am I taken?

Alright then, Ning Wan, your milk tea is also taken.