CH 19

Name:I am Destined to Die Author:
”That’s interesting.”

“It is, isn’t it? Anyway, Guildmaster looks at that painting whenever he has time. …Like Pygmalion.”

To be compared to Pygmalion, who fell in love with a statue he made, he can’t tell how often Simeon looks at the portrait. I wonder whose face <Saint-Germain> is now wearing, as it is said to become “the face the owner imagines”.

Soon she stopped in front of a door. The door, carved in black wood with a curved glyph, looked pretentiously luxurious. Instead, she knocked and stepped back and motioned for him to enter. After a quick bow, I quietly opened the door and stepped inside.

A thud.

The room was so quiet that the sound echoed loudly even when the door was carefully closed.

In the middle of an all-white room, a black man stands tall with his back to me, and in front of him, a painting of what appears to be the <Portrait of Saint-Germain> fills the wall. My heart skipped a beat as my eyes locked onto the young man smiling broadly at me.

His brown hair is flaming red from the sunset, and his slanted eyes are full of mischief. His innocent face looked like he was about to speak to me at any moment, so I shut my mouth and took a step back.

The young man in the painting is me. That’s the face of ‘John’.

“What happened?”

The low voice shook my shoulders. Simeon was still looking at the painting with his back to me.

That’s how much he… No, I didn’t think he missed John. What kind of face was he looking at the painting with now: longing, resentment, or, as he’d said earlier, love.

I tried to suppress my ominous curiosity and answered with an air of nonchalance.

“Well, I heard it’s okay for me to go back now.”

“That’s right, but why aren’t you going yet?”

“You said so.”

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my voice from trembling.

“That you don’t like people disappearing without telling you.”

Simeon glanced over. He was staring at me with an impassive stare that made me nervous.

“And… I wanted to apologise.”

“Apologise?”

“I took a picture of your face without permission and sold it for money. I’m sorry. I won’t do that again, and I won’t accept similar requests.”

I’m thinking about quitting my job as an errand boy after this incident. It would be good for me to have a more normal job, even if it pays less.

I bowed my head in silence, knowing that it was my fault for causing such an inconvenience. Soon enough the sound of footsteps echoed in the quiet room. Their shadows overlapped as he stopped his slow, leisurely approach.

“How much did you get?”

“What?”

“For that photograph.”

He glanced up, and Simeon was standing within reach.

“Three hundred…ish.”

“That’s less than I thought.”

“It’s expensive for a photograph.”

“Did you take the job for the money?”

It’s a price earned fraudulently, so even if he asked him to spit it out, there’s nothing to say. But then Simeon made an unexpected offer.

“So, if I give you more than that, you’ll stay here?”

His meaningful smile caught my attention. It was hard to tell if he was joking or serious. Probably serious, as always. That’s why I didn’t say, “I see,” even in jest.

“No. That’s not going to happen.”

“…You’re adamant.”

Simeon gave me a wistful look. I almost felt weak for a moment, remembering the fantasies I’d had as a child, when he’d urged me to stay the night.

“I’ll be off then.”

I linger, but it only brings back memories. I hurried out of the room and stopped dead in my tracks. I had almost forgotten the most important thing in my haste to leave.

“Oh, right. Can’t you take this off?”

I asked, pointing to the leash, and Simeon responded with a gentle smirk.

“Uh-huh. No way.”

“Why? Is it because you think I’m going to go somewhere and tell them about the Apostle?”

“Well, there is such a thing, but….”

Simeon trailed off for some reason. As the head of the guild, there were some things he couldn’t say. After a moment of thought, he reached out to me, and I tensed, thinking he was touching my leash again, but his large hand came to my face, not my neck.

“It’ll work itself out when the time comes.”

“What the….”

My eyes fluttered open as his hand blocked my view. My mind suddenly went blank, just as it had after the sleeping pills. My legs gave out and I stumbled, and he supported me lightly with one arm. I forced my slowly drooping eyelids up, and the last thing I saw was a beautiful smile on his face.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Shin Hajae-ssi.”

His voice trailed off into a low whisper, and I lost consciousness.

“Ugh…!”

I opened my eyes and found myself sitting in the driver’s seat of a car. The view out the window was as peaceful as ever. My head ached, as if I’d been having a terrible nightmare. I cautiously put my hand to my neck and felt sharp thorns.

“Yeah. It can’t be a dream.”

Looking around to see if anything had changed, I spotted something on the passenger seat.

A flower. A flower that glows redder than the sunset in the sky. As soon as I saw the layered petals, which looked like they had swallowed the sun, I knew what it was. It was the <Breath of the Firebird> that I had missed at the auction.

“Why is this here….”

I lifted the flower and saw a small note underneath. The paper smelled like a deep sea, and the handwriting was so neat that I instantly recognised who had written it.

[To you, beloved.]

The same words that lured me into the florist’s shop. What a prank.

I have a new family that is as big as a one-room lease.

“He doesn’t belong here….”

I don’t know why they gave me such an expensive artifact, but I took it and brought it home. I didn’t have a vase, let alone ceramics, so I just put in a glass cup. When I put it by the window, the petals fluttered in the breeze, and it was quite beautiful.

At first, I was a little nervous to put it in my house, but when I thought about it, I felt the same anyway. After all, I’m cursed, so what difference does it make if I put a flower in my house?

A week after I got off the island. The first thing I did was stop running errands.

[Do you take orders?]

[I quit.]

[Why?]

[It’s personal. If you keep contacting me, I’ll block you.]

I often contacted them in open chat, but I cut them off as firmly as I do now.

This time, I really wanted to find a decent job. I’ve only got less than a year left in my life, and I’m thinking, “Why now?” But there’s no law that says I have to die right away, so if I can live a normal life and die quietly, that’s a blessing.

I took new photos and put part-time resumes here and there. I was worried that I didn’t have enough experience, but within a day I received a call from a cafe asking me to come in for an interview. I straightened up my white shirt, which was hanging in the corner of my closet, and headed to the cafe.

Rattle-

As soon as I walked through the door, I was greeted by the aromatic smell of coffee. There were potted plants with large leaves everywhere, and the wooden furniture made me feel cozy. As my eyes scanned the empty counters, a young woman’s voice called out from the back of the kitchen.

“Hi,” she said.

“Um, I’m here for a job interview.”

”Ah! Have a seat wherever you’re comfortable.”

I took the seat closest to the counter and waited, and soon a woman in an apron emerged from the kitchen. The boss, who looked quite young, wiped her watery hands on her apron and sat down across from him.

“Shin… Shin Hajae-ssi?”

“Yes. Hello.”

The boss’s complexion brightened as he smiled gently in greeting, trying to make a good first impression.

“You’re much more handsome than your pictures, I’m sure the guests will like you.”

“Haha, thank you.”

Am I handsome? Ever since the accident changed my appearance, I’ve only heard that I look like a sandbagger…. Anyway, it was a compliment, so I accepted it gratefully. The boss leaned forward to see if she liked me and asked me a few questions.

“Have you ever worked in a cafe before?”

”Nope. This is my first time.”

“Well, what have you done?”

“Uh……. I worked for quite a while… supporting customers.”

“Oh, so you’re good with customers then.”

I’ve met a lot of customers who have been anonymously setting up installations on request. The cafe was no better, no worse. I nodded confidently, signalling that I could do anything, but the owner hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“That’s all well and good, but… How can you take that out?”

“Yes? What…….”

Her gaze dropped lower than my chin, and I realized she was looking at my collar. I’d gotten so used to wearing it that I’d forgotten. I had forgotten that my neck was stuffed with thorns that no dog would wear.

I gingerly fondled the collar and smiled wryly.

“Oh, this?”

“Yes. I thought the elderly might be a bit surprised to see it. This is near the hospital.”

For some reason, I’ve been getting a lot of stares from people on the street lately, so this must be it.

I want to get rid of it, but no matter what I do, it won’t come off. I’ve used wire cutters, nippers, and even a knife that can cut through a watermelon. I can’t explain the situation, so I look away awkwardly.

“I don’t think I can do that.”

“Oh…. it is, then I guess I can’t help it.”

The boss shrugged with a hint of regret.

“I’ll call you next time.”

I never in my life thought I’d be rejected for a job because of the collar. I’m sure other places would ask about it. I guess it’s wrong to get a normal job after all.

“…Good luck.”

I staggered out the door, feeling drained of energy.