CH 103

Chapter 103: Immoral Behaviour

My ears were wide open, but I couldn’t make out a word of what Zetto and the guard were saying.

All my attention was focused on…on Zetto’s lower body.

I’d seen it in the sauna and it in the ice crystal memory, except he wasn’t wearing a towel like last time, so his pants covered it well, but I could still make out his silhouette.

What was worse was that I couldn’t see exactly what it was so my vivid imagination was painting a picture in my head.

My face was heating up but I hadn’t felt like my head was going to explode like this since I’d been with Zetto at the inn.

“Hmph… Hmph…”

My breathing became ragged and I struggled to breathe properly as my head grew fuzzy.

The security guard, holding a lantern and peering into Zetto’s darkened room, approached him.

I wondered if I should hold my breath as the guard’s voice is heard first, as they are still talking.

“…It’s not uncommon for noble children to play with fire. I hear Cadet Zetto is quite popular with the female cadets, though…”

The guard glanced at Zetto and trailed off.

“Haha, popular? I don’t deserve it, so… Amon filed a report?”

The guard leans in closer as Zetto says this nonchalantly, and then slyly pushes his chair toward the back of the table, toward me.

I was well aware that he was doing this to hide me from the guard, but because he was sitting on the chair with his legs spread, my face ended up between his legs.

His ‘it’ was now right in front of my nose.

“Okay, so I’ve been circling around a bit. Cadet Amon is in the next room, right?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“I don’t usually do this, but we’ve been getting our asses handed to us since Yorfang.”

The guard was a talkative man.

I thought I’d seen enough of the room, but their conversation showed no signs of ending. As a result, I was going to be in this position for a few more minutes.

I silently swallowed the saliva that had been pooling in my mouth and   I could feel it all as it slowly traveled down my throat.

Every sense in my body felt heightened.

I desperately tried to hold on for dear life and I felt like I was going to bury my face in Zetto’s lower body if I did anything wrong.

I took a deep breath to match the sound of Zetto’s voice as he answered the guard’s question.

At least I could breathe.

I wanted to smell it, to smell Zetto. My nose sucked in the scents around me, and my brain analyzed them thoroughly.

It was nothing too special.

Zetto was wearing pants, after all, and they smelled like the usual soap scent of washed clothes.

“Ha…”

I inhaled deeply and exhaled.

The smell was nothing special, really but a tingling sensation ran through my body, and I shivered.

‘…Kaen, aren’t you crazy?’

I asked, horrified at my body’s reaction.

In this situation, where Zetto was trying to hide me, I was trying to smell him somehow.

I’ve always been delusional and mistaken about him. Even lately, I’d been running my hands over my body, reliving memories through the ice crystal.

Zetto was sweet, good-natured and sturdy. I trusted him enough to leave my back to him in the middle of a battle.

He took good care of me and never said a bitter word to me, even when I was being unruly and causing him trouble.

He always treated me with kindness.

‘And yet I…’

…Yes. I had to admit it now.

I wanted Zetto’s body.

Suddenly, the image of Cadet Aizel holding Zetto’s hand flashed through his mind.

…I wasn’t like her. My relationship with Zetto hadn’t even reached the point of friendship, let alone love, yet here I was, sullenly coveting his body.

I knew something was terribly wrong with this and that I was a terrible human being.

The truth was, Zetto had no interest in my body. This was something I had come to realize through my time at the inn.

I wanted to bow my head in guilt, but I couldn’t. If I did, my face would touch something of his.

It was my last conscience, my last goodness. And that’s when I strained my neck, trying to keep it as straight as possible when the guard talking to Zetto asks a question.

“…Then why are you sitting at the table?”

Judging from the guard’s posture, his gaze seems to be on the table where Zetto was sitting and where I was hiding.

As far as I could tell, there was nothing on the table.

I wondered if Zetto was looking a little out of place sitting at an empty table chatting away so I crouched down as low as I could.

After a few moments, Zetto spoke up.

“Oh, well…I just had a lot going on today. I was resting, and I wasn’t clean enough to go to bed…Haha.”

At the same time, Zetto naturally sank into the chair, his legs pressing a little further into the table.

Eventually…They touched.

I crossed the line but it wasn’t my will. However I buried my face between Zetto’s legs.

‘…It’s touching.’

It was touching the bridge of my nose and the sudden contact snapped the rope I was barely holding on to.

I knew I was committing a great sin, but for some reason it felt good and my guilt was turning into a feeling of immorality.

Regret and remorse turned to pleasure or exhilaration and it was terribly stimulating.

And now…I don’t know.

I strained my neck, which had been upright and buried my face in my hands.

“Uh…”

I heard Zetto’s exclamation, tinged with embarrassment but I didn’t care.

‘I held on as long as I could…’

…I decided to be a little brazen and soon enough, the guard responded to Zetto’s rant.

“What’s wrong? Did you forget something?”

“Oh, um…No, it’s nothing, and since you’re done with my room, shouldn’t you go check out the others?”

“Ha…”

The sound of their conversation drowns out my ragged breathing.

I had to hold it in, but I couldn’t and my body was responding.

I buried my face in my hands and smelled something different. A strong odor, different from the scent of the clothes I’d smelled earlier.

My heightened sense of smell picked it up without missing a beat.

‘This… Zetto’s scent…’

It was instinctual, just like a female beast is distracted by the scent of a male beast.

Living with my grandfather, I grew up as a young swordsman, not a woman.

I just wanted to be cool and strong, and up until that point, I had no interest in male creatures but that was until I met Zetto.

After meeting Zetto and being around him made me realize this over and over again.

Eventually…I’m a girl.

I couldn’t see Zetto’s face right now, but his gentle smile flashed through my mind.

The guard responded to Zetto’s words, but then his chatter began again.

I wondered if he was always that talkative but what mattered now was……that something was swelling against my face.

‘Zetto…?’

My eyes widened.

‘What…The size…’

In the ice crystal memory, I couldn’t see it properly through the thick steam of the sauna, so I had to fill in the rest with delusions but now I could see it clearly.

I was a little confused, but quickly understood what was happening.

I had unknowingly rubbed my face against ‘it’, and I had irritated him.

This was proof that Zetto was a healthy adult male after all. Moreover, his senses were sharp so a small irritation…might have been a big one for him.

It was the same for me and I found myself looking down at my hands.

‘I must be losing my mind…..’

His gentle smile flashed before my eyes, and then immorality washed over me like a high tide.

My face feels hot but I couldn’t tell if it was my own heat or the heat that radiated from Zetto.

‘It’s so…Hot…’

I couldn’t think anymore and my head was completely filled with Zetto.

My eyes felt like they were going to roll back in my head and I couldn’t breathe properly. However my hand never stopped moving downward……and then my vision went black.

***

The guard was just as talkative as Sierra was the first time we met.

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have many people to talk to because of his job.

I was surprised that people heard a woman’s voice. I thought I had good soundproofing.

Even then, our conversations tended to be quiet and I didn’t even talk to Kaen that much. So maybe it wasn’t Kaen, but another cadet actually brought a girl.

Anyway…I sensed things weren’t going well and somehow managed to send the guard back.

I couldn’t do much but at least I managed to keep Kaen from getting caught.

’My body reacted first, and I thought I was in for an embarrassing situation…’

Kaen was under the table…She was curled up in an awkward position and seemed to be asleep.

I was surprised she was able to sleep in that position, but I was relieved. Well, it was late, and…Kaen was a light sleeper.

But Sierra’s reaction was strange.

[My, my disciple… this, this child will do you harm…!]

“What’s wrong…?”

As far as I could tell, Kaen hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary; the most I could tell was that her breathing had become ragged from hiding.

[That…I can’t say…]

Scratching my head, I walked over to the prone Kaen, with Sierra covering her mouth with her sleeve, and wrapped my arms around her legs and neck, lifting her up.

She wasn’t particularly heavy and I laid her gently on the bed.

‘I think we did this last time…’

Pulling the covers over her, I pulled up a chair near the bed and sat down. This was the second time I’d done this with Kaen, so it felt familiar.

[…Hmm. She sleeps well.]

Sierra, who had been staring at Kaen in bed, snapped her head around and came over to me.

I yawned, probably because Sheddie drained a lot of my life force at once.

Sierra leaned against my shoulder and stroked my cheek. Then I hear Kaen muttering in her sleep.

“…I… I… I’ll take responsibility…”

…Kaen seems to be having a strange dream again.

***

“…Uh.”

I quickly pulled myself up to the unfamiliar ceiling that I saw as soon as I opened my eyes but before I could take in my surroundings, a familiar voice rang in my ears.

“Are you awake?”

Zetto, who was sitting up in a chair and crossing his arms, tilted his head.

“Well, did I fall asleep? Did I?”

“Uh, yeah. You must have been very sleepy. I let you sleep in my bed for as long as I could. Oh, and don’t worry, you didn’t get caught.”

Zetto’s explanation was enough for me to realize what had happened but I hadn’t actually fallen asleep, I passed out.

It was similar to what had happened at the inn and once again, Zetto didn’t touch the defenseless me.

In fact, he wasn’t even angry and offered me his bed.

“……I’m sorry.”

I muttered in a low voice and bowed my head.

“Haha, it’s okay, nothing happened, so whatever.”

Zetto laughed, and I couldn’t help but feel deeply guilty.

It was a way of saying I was sorry for taking the bed from him, but it wasn’t just that.

…I must have had another terrible dream with such a gentle man as Zetto.

The lingering dream in my mind made me blush.  I had to control myself, but it wasn’t easy.

“As for the information… I’ll let you know as soon as I get it, but don’t be too impatient. I’ve heard there’s been a lot of movement lately.”

Zetto finished what he hadn’t been able to say last night.

“…I see.”

I gave a small nod and slid out of bed.

“Cadet Zetto, I’m sorry about last night.”

I offered him a sincere apology before leaving the room. At least I was sober.

“Not really, we share a secret.”

“Share a secret…?”

As I replayed Zetto’s words, I had a question for him and at this point, I wanted to make sure.

“Uh, I was wondering…What kind of person is Cadet Aizel to you, Zetto?”

“What kind of person…”

Zetto clenched his jaw at my question but it didn’t take long for his mouth to open.

“…A friend, a dear one, I suppose.”

It was an ambiguous statement but she was not a lover, then?

“…Then.”

The words slipped out of my mouth and Zetto tilted his head in response.

I didn’t want to be the one to confirm…

‘Good, Kaen, keep up the good work!’

The meaning of my grandfather’s words still eludes me but one thing was for sure, I wasn’t going to make any progress like this.

“…And what about me…?”

I asked, squeezing my eyes shut, unable to even look at Zetto but then I heard his voice as he answered without any hesitation.

“A colleague I can trust with my back…someone I value and an equally important person.”

The corners of my mouth twitched as I realized that his words were more than just words, they were a solid statement.

That was enough and I felt like I could approach him without fear.

“…Uh, I’ll be off.”

Before I left, I turned around and caught one last glimpse of Zetto who was smiling at me as friendly as ever.

I left the room, closing the door behind me, and immediately leaned against it, cupping my face in my hands.

“Hmph…”

As soon as I left the room, all the horrible things I had done in this room flashed through my mind.

First…I should probably change my underwear.