CH 4

I opened my mouth to say something. Yet no words came out.

Magda held my hand tightly and didn’t let go until I calmed down. As her warm body temperature was delivered, I could feel my heart beating like crazy, gradually regaining its rhythm.

“Don’t you feel anything… regarding me being a part of Barmuth?”

Finally, those horse-like words came out. But it was still far from enough to express my feelings.

Originally, I wanted to ask, “Is it okay if Barmuth’s marriage is used as the Emperor’s political means and the result is Schwires’ daughter?”

Fortunately, Magda understood all the hidden meanings in my words.

“Actually, I’m a bit surprised. I can’t believe the Young Lord’s bride is already decided.”

She exchanged eyes with the butler, discussed something silently, and said. “I’m also worried about the Miss’ surroundings.”

It was still a friendly tone. 

“But as I told you, a child doesn’t have to know the complicated circumstances of adults.” She carefully raised her hand and patted my head. “We don’t know what the Duke is thinking either. To be honest, I don’t even know how long Miss will be able to stay at Barmuth. But,” her eyes became more serious. “We will do our best to serve Miss no matter what the future holds. All children have the right to be cared for, and it’s us adults’ responsibility to take care of them.”

Ah.

How many years has it been since I last heard such sweet words? 

It was a long time ago that my parents were alive in my previous life, so my memory is now dim.

Kellerhan was a mad dog, but his servants seemed to be good people.

That’s a relief. At least I don’t have to worry about being bullied by servants here. Kellerhan wasn’t a person who ordered his servants to bully others. 

My desire to stay in Barmuth has become stronger and stronger.

“And, Miss.” Magda took her hand off my head and called me. I couldn’t believe what was happening, so I fiddled with Magda’s hand. “You may be a prosecutive, but you’re still the bride of the Young Lord of Barmuth, so we have to treat you well.”

“But…”

“If it’s hard for you, you can do it slowly. But you can’t keep addressing us with respect. Do you get it?”

I nodded, almost as if I was possessed. Magda smiled and led me upstairs.

“I’ll decorate Miss’ room separately soon, so can you stay in this room for a few days?”

And she felt sorry for the luxurious guest room as if it were a shabby, small room.

…I wish I could live here for the rest of my life.

No, not for the rest of my life considering I’d be getting divorce when I became an adult, so maybe for 11 years?

While I was standing in the middle of the room, Magda and the maids began to prepare for the bath busily.

“Miss, do you want us to help you with your clothes?” Magda asked when the large attic bathtub was properly filled with warm water.

Asking if they could help me with the clothes was a consideration because I didn’t like strangers’ hands touching my body. Children who are suddenly in an unfamiliar environment are usually afraid of people.

Suddenly, my first day at Lodgemund came to mind.

[Are you the daughter of Schwires?]

A cold voice that fell over my head, who cried for days and became dehydrated at the news of my parents’ death. Soon after, a tough power grabbed my wrist, my two feet were dragged on the floor because I didn’t have the strength to walk, and I was roughly thrown into the room…

“Miss?”

Magda’s voice brought me back to reality.

“Are you okay? Shall we take a bath later?”

“It’s okay. It was nothing.” I shook my head. “And the clothes… I can do it alone.”

In my words, Magda and the maids took a step back.

Fortunately, what I was wearing was easy to take off, so I was able to take off my clothes quickly. 

After my parents’ death, all the servants quit and left. I was the one who chose the clothes because there was no one to serve me this morning.

When I took off all my clothes and entered the bathtub, Magda put a silver tray containing snacks on the table next to the bathtub and drew a simple curtain.

The moment I saw the snacks, my appetite came back.  Since returning last night, I hadn’t had even a sip of water.

I carefully lifted a chocolate on the tray. It was a cute chocolate with a pink heart on it. Once I put it in my mouth, an incredible sweetness spread through my mouth. When I put something sweet in my mouth, I was forced to relax.

I ate a few more chocolates and went back into the water. My whole body’s muscles were loosened and became drowsy. But I didn’t let go of the last tension.

I could’ve been sent back to Lodgemund depending on how I spent the month. By now, the news that the Emperor had sent me to Barmuth would’ve been delivered to Lodgemund.

And Herbert, the Duke of Lodgemund (who was my father-in-law in my previous life), must be terribly angry. Heiner, who didn’t know yet about the Schwires’ treasure, would sigh in relief when he heard that he didn’t have to greet a little girl as his bride.

Speaking of Heiner, what would the Young Lord think of me?

I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy about me. He was a cold-hearted ice prince to everyone, so he couldn’t have welcomed me, who appeared out of nowhere.

We should talk about the divorce as soon as possible. If I said I’ll divorce him as soon as I become an adult, he won’t hate me very much.

“Miss, I’m going to wash your body.” I was thinking about the Young Lord of Barmuth whom I saw in my previous life when I heard Magda’s voice.

Soon after, Magda and the maids came in and wiped my body with a soft, white foam towel. When I became a huge snowman surrounded by bubbles, Magda smiled and rinsed the bubbles with warm water.

By the time I finished taking a bath and hung my clothes, the maids went out and brought a tray of food.

The dinner menu was warm soup with plenty of seafood and soft, white bread with honey. 

Just as soon as I took a bite of the white bread and took a sip of the soup, my eyes opened wide. Feeling hungry in earnest, I ate the food fast enough as if I was in urgent need.

My parents raised me freely, and Lodgemund didn’t educate me properly (what is education? I spent most of the days trapped in the attic). My table manners were a mess. 

Because I didn’t have a proper education, Heiner wouldn’t let me touch the food when I met other people as his fiance.

While I was hastily eating, I didn’t say anything as I promised Herbert and Heiner.

Magda just looked at me with a soft smile.

Clattering.

Feeling their gazes, I carefully put down the silver spoon. I think I should learn etiquette as soon as possible.

“Do you want more?”

I was a little surprised by Magda’s question.

I can eat more…?

In Lodgemund, everyone hated me for causing them to run out of food. Although compared to their huge wealth, it wouldn’t be a piece of blood for me to say that it was my food, but not only the servants, Herbert and Heiner also used to sigh whenever I ate something.

That’s why I felt guilty everytime I ate food.

I endured that until I was so hungry that I couldn’t stand it, and when no one was watching, I survived by eating the food I secretly brought to my room.

I’m now sure that all of Barmuth’s servants are good people, but I unconsciously felt guilty because I still had that habit.

Let’s not think about that.

These people are different from Lodgemund.

These people won’t be angry no matter how much I eat.

My painful stomach became a little more comfortable as it was tightening. 

“I’m full.” However, I shook my head because I hadn’t had the courage to ask for more food yet.

“If you want more, feel free to tell me. The Barmuth mansion’s kitchen runs around the clock.” Magda spoke affectionately while the maids cleaned up the empty bowls and tablewares.

I took a bath, and I was somewhat full, so I felt sleepy.

I can’t sleep… Kellerhan told me to come to his study…

However, it was very difficult to control the body that became much younger and weaker. It was almost like fighting a dragon to resist drowsiness.

“You must be tired.” Magda’s voice was also distant as if I heard it from afar. She gently put me, who was toppling like a loach, on the bed.

“Ah, I can’t…” I tried to stay aware for a few more times, but I couldn’t hold out anymore when Magda covered me with a cozy blanket.

That’s how I fell asleep.

***

In my dream, I saw a huge and fierce dog. 

The dog looked at me and came close. It put its nose on my calves and started sniffing. It then lost interest and turned away as I was scared that he’d bite me if I stooped down right away.

That strange dog with black fur and red eyes sat about ten steps away from me.

“T-That’s a relief…” When I saw the dog bury its face on its front legs, I breathed a sigh of relief.

As I was slowly getting up and trying to get away from the dog, I heard a bark from another side. Once I turned my head around, there was a puppy with black fur like the big dog, but it was incomparably cute.

Woof! The puppy barked loudly once, approached me while waving its short, fluffy tail. 

I sat down and reached out my hand, the puppy rubbed its face against my hand. And as if it was acting cute, it flipped over and showed its belly.

‘It’s so cute…’

I was half out of my mind and muttered while petting the puppy. That’s exactly how cute it was. I played with the puppy for a long time, and suddenly my hands felt empty.

Surprised, I raised my head. Two large dogs that looked alike were gazing upon me. Both of them looked incredibly fierce.

What? How did this happen? What about my puppy?!

Being scared, I shouted, stepping back.

“…ppy, puppy!”

***

Gosh!

I woke up surprised by my sleep talking voice.

“…Huh?”

But similar to what I saw in my dream, a cute puppy was in front of me.

Puppy? No, it’s not.

What was in front of me was a little boy of my age. It was the aftermath of the dream, and I thought he was a puppy for a while because he looked so cute.

Black hair like the night sky, blue eyes as if they were the finest sapphire, and soft white cheeks and lips that would shape when it’s poked.

He was a cute and pretty boy that could be believed to be a baby angel.

But who is he?