CH 49

“Why are you fighting so hard?”

At first, I was really just trying to save myself. I thought I would die if I ran away, and fighting the Disaster was the only way to live. In retrospect, I would have had a better chance of survival if I’d abandoned my mission and run away. In the original story, Elroy didn’t run away, so I took up my sword and figured out how to stay alive.

I found Daphne and recruited her.

I argued with Georg and won his approval.

I unintentionally met Marianne.

I began to hear the voice of the Holy Sword and learned from it.

Before I went north, I met many people in passing, and when I arrived in Evernode, I met many more. They were not just words. The fears I had fought were not fake, and the wounds I had suffered in training were painful. Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten that I was an outsider, not from this world.

I took a swig of water.

I opened the wooden box and looked at the crown of thorns. I tilted my head toward Marianne, who sat across from me.

“You know I have tried many times; you must’ve seen how I never succeeded.”

Marianne nodded. In my eyes, she was bobbing her head about, looking all over the room. She was uncharacteristically anxious. It’s not like I don’t understand. We could lose the ensuing battle if I failed. I picked up the crown of thorns, careful not to prick myself.

“If I don’t endure the ordeal, I will fall unconscious. I want you to wake me and take me to Rhys immediately.”

She nodded her head slowly. No time to delay. I put the crown back on my head. As always, mana flowed out of the crown and into my head. I felt it course through my body, and I began to circulate the mana in my heart. Time passes very slowly as I go through the trial. I closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes when I saw a light shine into my eyes, only to be covered in darkness once more. I then felt the sensation of falling. I forced my eyes open before I lost consciousness again. I could feel my body more clearly than usual. I don’t know how long the fall lasted, but I was standing at the bottom of the darkness before I knew it.

“…Where am I?”

I tried to move, but my limbs and torso were pinned down as if someone had grabbed me from behind and grappled me. I frowned and struggled, but I could not move a single inch. ‘What kind of a trial is this?’ As I exerted myself further, attempting to escape, I heard a voice in my ear.

『That is the weight of the so-called salvation you seek.』

I looked up, searching for the source of the voice, but saw nothing. There was only nothingness all around me.

『And ahead of you is the path you wish to travel.』

I can’t see anything. Is there even a road? I’d much rather be on a thorny path with something to see.

『Can you stand bearing that weight?』

I gritted my teeth. ‘I wasn’t here to have my resolve tested.’ If I had a weight to carry, I would lift it; if I had to walk, I would. But if that’s how I could gain the power of this relic, if that’s how I could protect people…

“Then there is nothing that can stop me from moving.”

I said it out loud and began to move. I felt the weight on my back increase as I tried to get up. I felt like my limbs would break if I continued pushing.

“Fucking… move….”

My limbs were fixed. I flailed my limbs in the air like a bug. Rather, I tried.

『I hope you weren’t being facetious. The weight of salvation is never light』

Its voice was abominable. The word shut up was in my mouth, trying to escape. God, this weight. I squirmed, but I still couldn’t move.

『Let me ask you again; Can you stand bearing that weight?』

“Yes.”

I let out a whisper. I tried to extend my legs, pushing them to the limit until I felt them snap. It gave out before it even moved, and the weight on my body became even heavier.

『Salvation will drag you down with it.』

I looked back. The same darkness stretched behind me, but I knew I shouldn’t stay still. I knew that if I let go, I would never be able to return, merging with the mass that was trying to consume me. And then I’d return to reality, feeling devastated and declaring yet another failure.

『And then you won’t be able to climb back up. You’ll be trapped in despair, falling into the endless void.』

I struggled to hold on to my body as it was pulled, but I slowly moved backward, inexorably. It was helpless.

『The cliff is just one step behind you, Hero.』

I felt like my body would break if I kept holding on. I felt like I would disintegrate into pieces and disappear into nothingness. But I held on. The wind blew at my back, chilling my spine. I yanked myself forward, my eyes burning.

『You can break free from this bondage. You have the strength to do so. If you do, I am willing to give you a portion of my power.』

“Some is meaningless. I need the power to cut the Giant’s throat and save my people.”

My heel went over the edge of the cliff. I answered the voice, my voice cracking, desperate for it to speak to me.

『I will save you because you have a promise to fulfill.』

“Promise…?

I looked down at my right hand. I remembered the tiny hand on my little finger, its weight, its warmth, the tears it wiped away, and the voice that stopped me from crying. They were not text. I remembered the soldiers of Evernode laughing and the people strolling the streets at the Summer Solstice Festival. They were not just some words in a novel, and I, with my Holy Sword, was no longer a reader. I could not remain a bystander.

All I could think about was the question that pierced through my mind.

Why do some people try to save others when they don’t have the ability to do so, and why don’t those who do have the ability to save don’t?

“I don’t abandon people.”

Call it hypocrisy. Call it self-satisfaction. Call it arrogance. Even if I hadn’t become the Hero who held the Holy Sword. If I wanted to save the people, then why don’t I?

『Is that the salvation you seek?』

I will not abandon those who need saving.

“Yes.”

I felt the force pulling me disappear. I stood with my feet on the edge of the cliff and blew out a breath. However, I could still feel the weight hanging over me.

『Is that your choice?』

“I’m willing to take it, even if it’s at the cost of my body.”

With that, I straightened up. For once, I could move.

『Then show me.』

Very slowly, my right foot began to move forward. I took a step, sweating like a waterfall. Just a step. Not even forward, just back the way I’d been dragged.

“One…”

I leaned forward, and my back felt like it would rip. I forced myself to lift my leg and shift the center of gravity of my upper body. I took my second step.

“Two…”

I couldn’t move my other leg. I looked down and saw it slowly break apart. I could feel my body slowly disappearing. No–my leg was working fine, and my body was still intact. My mind was influenced by the pain. I grit my teeth and move my leg. I didn’t care if my body broke as long as I could walk out of this hell.

So, I walked.

『There may be no light ahead.』

The voice said.

“As long as I don’t fall, I can keep looking for light.”

『The light may be an illusion, nothing more than your wishful thinking.』

“I won’t know that until I find it. And most importantly.

If you look for the light, you’ll get farther away from the abyss.

“Then we don’t have to worry about looking for the light, and we don’t have to worry about falling into the pit. We can look for hope instead of despair.”

When that happens, the hands on my back will be free to find their light.

“That will be the moment when my salvation is complete.”

『Even if the people are lost in darkness?』

“Better to be lost, to despair, than to disappear without ever being given a chance to find their way.”

I said and took another step forward.

“Right?”

(You are not wrong.)

Holy Sword’s voice seemed to come from nowhere. My hands tightened.

(Keep moving)

The scene before me began to crack. Cracks that let light leak through the darkness. I took another step. The damage spreads across the dark, and then it collapses.

『Well done, Hero.』

The voice was slowly fading.

『Let me lend you my assistance.』

***

I opened my eyes. I was breathing raggedly. I could see Marianne’s face in front of me. She was cupping my face with both hands. I squeezed her hands and nodded. Her hands trembled slightly, and she pulled them away from my face.

“…Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

The stinging thorn in my head was gone. My body felt lighter than ever. I felt like I could do anything right now. Looking down at the floor, I see the shattered crown slowly crumbling into dust.

(Congratulations.)

At the Holy Sword’s words, I looked in the mirror in the corner of the room. A single glowing ring, shaped like a crown hovered above my head.

“I’ve done it.”

I clenched and unclenched my fist, then looked at the clock. It had only been half an hour since I’d started the trial, though it felt like I’d spent dozens of hours in that mental world. I gently closed my hand around the hilt of the sword. It felt different. It felt more like a Holy Sword.

(You succeeded.)

I nodded slowly, then quickly stabilized my mana. The pulse in my heart was different as well. ‘Now, I could save the Archduke.’ I turned to Marianne, who had risen from her seat. She stood up, turned to me, her eyes wavering, and grabbed my sleeve.

“Thank you for your help, Marianne.”

Her grip tightened a little more. I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn’t seem to think of the words. I gently squeezed her hand. Marianne bit her lip hard, then let out a small breath, her lips trembling as if she’d given up.

“I’ll be back.”

“Yes…”

I descended the stairs. Rhys and Serene were already waiting for me on the floor below. Rhys’ eyes widened in surprise at the sight of me, but then he smiled in bewilderment and delight.

“You’ve changed. You’re stronger than you were a few minutes ago.”

“Is this the rescue party?”

Rhys cocked his head. Serene and the rest of Evernode’s finest knights stared at me.

“No. My party of knights and I will guard the castle, so don’t worry and rescue the Archduke, Hero.”

I nodded and went outside. My horse greeted me with a calmer demeanor than usual. 

The sun was setting as I stood in front of the gates.

“Open the gates!”

The grate was raised.

I drew my Holy Sword, and the horse dashed forward of its own accord.

As if in anticipation, a tidal wave of monsters rushed in. I swung my sword. Through the scattering corpses, I gazed at the pure white veil of the horizon.

I decided in my heart.

A Hero is a person who saves others.

From now on, I will be a Hero.