CH 146

“Okay, that’s it.”

My treatment was over in a flash. Iris looked up, wiping the sweat from her face. Marianne looked down at my unharmed body, then turned to Iris. She still seemed unsure of how to treat the Saintess. Iris saw the look on Marianne’s face and didn’t bother speaking to her.

“Are you okay, Daphne? I could cast a spell on you if you’d like.”

“No… I’ll be fine if I rest without using magic for a while.”

“But just in case, excuse me for a moment.”

Iris gently took Daphne’s hand and closed her eyes. A flicker of golden energy passed through them, and then Iris released it and nodded with a smile.

“It’s just like you said, no big deal. Don’t use too much magic, and you’ll be fine.”

Daphne’s gaze flicked to me. Her violet eyes pierced me, and simultaneously, Iris and Marianne turned to me.

“Thank you, and…I’m sorry, but I need you to watch Elroy.”

“I’m fine.”

Iris pulled another chair over and sat down in front of me. Her lustrous blonde hair was matted, her eyes bloodshot, and her clothes the same as any medic’s. Abandoning her saintly garb, Iris looked more like one than ever.

“The others….”

“I’ve already healed them all, and I’ve stopped by to see Georg upstairs, so you don’t have to worry about them.”

Iris’ hand fell on my shoulder…No, she gripped it quite tightly. She seemed unassuming because of her demeanor, but the force I felt was much stronger than I had expected. ‘I guess I wasn’t the only one improving.’

“Stop rolling your eyes as you look at me. Also, you don’t need to hold me tightly and speak harshly.”

“Harsh? It’s not like I’m holding you captive and interrogating you.”

I felt a chill as I saw Bishop Andrei’s smile on Iris’ face. She raised both hands to my face, and I backed away until I hit the backrest. Her hands held my cheeks, not giving me a chance to escape. Slowly, holy mana began to flow into my body.

“Just accept it already.”

I couldn’t help it. I relaxed, unable to resist Iris’ determined gaze and voice. The energy entered my body, observing my head, neck, shoulders, and every extremity of my body. Suddenly, her face went rigid. She looked up, her blue eyes demanding.

“What the hell happened?

I smiled.

“How have you been? Were you hurt in the battle?”

With an unspoken request to move on.

“…I’m all good. I had my knights to protect me.”

Iris looked like she was trying her hardest not to look uncomfortable. She blinked repeatedly, trying to steady her expression, though she was aware that her eyes fluttered.

“I don’t know how it’s okay to be unharmed when everyone else is hurting.”

“You weren’t even in the battle, so it is to be expected.”

I shrugged my shoulders, but Iris’ expression didn’t lend itself to lighthearted conversation at all. She moved the corners of her mouth and forced something resembling a smile.

“Be careful, though. There’s no guarantee you’ll be strong forever.”

“…I’ll keep that in mind.”

With that, the Saintess’ expression returned to its usual resolute gentleness. I glanced at Marianne and Daphne, and though their doubts lingered, they seemed relieved. Iris removed her hands from my cheek and stood up.

“Let’s take a walk. I have a message from the Holy Land that I’ve been asked to relay to you in confidence.”

At the entrance to the room, Iris looked back at me. Her blue gaze wasn’t trying to trap me. They were the eyes of a helpless person watching the inevitable, like watching a stream of water. Before I could read her expression further, she turned quickly and opened the door.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

Leaving Daphne and Marianne behind, I followed Iris out of the room.

***

Snow fell from the sky. The pace of its accumulation was steady, as was the rate of its clearing. I watched Iris struggle to keep pace. She was quiet. I kept my eyes straight ahead, trying not to draw attention to myself.

It wasn’t until we’d left the headquarters of the Hero’s Party and entered a shopping alley where all the stores were closed that I spoke beneath the long shadows of an awning.

“What happened to you?”

I paused.

Her steps halted. I looked back.

“Is it incurable?”

“You ask that knowing what you did?”

Iris sighed heavily. She crossed her arms and tapped her fingers. The corners of her mouth quirked up into a slight smile. Our breaths drifted apart. Our gazes shifted and piled up like snow.

“Your heart was literally ripped like paper. It’s torn to shreds. I don’t even understand how you’re still alive. I mean, some sort of large magical conglomerate is holding it together….”

Iris shook her head as she spoke. She didn’t seem to want to say it.

“It’s holding your heart, and that’s why you’re alive, but it’s also why I can’t cure you. It’s too strong and impossible for the Holy Magic to interfere.”

I can’t cure it. I felt the fake heart pounding against my chest even now. I frowned slightly, and Iris took a step forward.

“How can you be so nonchalant about this? Every time your heart beats, it must feel like your chest is stabbed by dozens of needles, even now…it must be excruciating….”

“How long can it hold out?”

Iris bit her lip.

“…until your magic runs out. If you ignore the pain, you can live to a ripe old age like a normal person.”

“If I do run out?”

“…Your heart will rip from your chest, and you’ll die. I’m sure you already know the answer, so why did you even ask?”

She sounded irritated. Iris stood beside me. The awning caught the snow, and some of it fell off.

“No matter what you say, I still have to fight. That’s what being the Hero means. One who lives for the world.”

The words were bitter. Iris turned her head and looked around us. The sunlight cracked and streaked.

“I don’t think anyone will criticize you for stopping now.”

“The time and manner of death is part of life.”

Iris pursed her lips at my words.

“It’s quite similar to being a Saintess.”

“Don’t change the subject; we’re discussing your body.”

I was far from dying, so death didn’t seem close. Heartbeats were pain; pain was a sign of life; life can be proven by heartbeats. I clutched my chest.

“Retire. I’m sure you’re tired of saving money. Build a house in the warm south and live in a rocking chair petting cats.”

“When I retire, I’ll live in the north because I hate the crowds in the south.”

Silence followed. The Hero couldn’t quit. I must stop to live. Life and time pile up and up like falling snow, and you can’t tell what the ground was like in the first place. Perhaps it was your reason to live? A foundation that doesn’t melt. Even if you want to relieve it, you can’t because it has long been buried.

“You looked distressed.”

“What?”

“Ever since you began meditating.”

I was silent for a moment. Neither I nor Isis spoke; we stared blankly into the shifting light.

“I don’t want you to die.”

“Thank you.”

“I want you to save the world, and I want you to come back smiling.”

A Hero was like a soldier. That soldier can mean the world to someone. I should never, under any circumstances, be more important than the world to anyone.

“I have to go; I still have much to do.”

“I’ll stop by the Holy Land when I have time. I have to say hello to the Bishop and Pope.”

Iris nodded and walked away. I stood still under the awning long after she was gone.

(I’m sorry.)

Suddenly, I heard the voice of the Holy Sword. My mouth fell open. The Holy Sword had done nothing wrong. If anyone was to be blamed, it was me for not being able to handle the third stage.

“I’m sorry, too.”

(It’s hard to read your thoughts.)

At the Holy Sword’s words, I blinked.

(I’ve been training you for that, but now that you’ve achieved it, I’ve started to grow anxious.)

“Is it because I’m dying?”

(…Maybe.)

I giggled and pulled away. Looking at Iris’ footprints, I started walking in the opposite direction.

***

While Marianne and Daphne were out one afternoon, I walked down to the first-floor lobby at the sound of a knock on the door. After hearing only one knock, I nervously opened the door.

“Good afternoon, Professor.”

And then, reflexively, I closed the door. After a moment of silence, I heard a quiet knock. I slowly turned the doorknob. On the other side of the reopened door, a dark-haired girl stood. All traces of the monster were gone, and she was now simply Natalie.

“…What brings you here?”

“I know it’s not strange for a disciple to come to a master’s house.”

Natalie replied with a smug smile. Outside the door, the summer snow was melting. The time of daydreams was coming to an end. Natalie entered the house by shaking the snow from her boots onto the carpet.

“It’s spacious.”

“You’re welcome to come over, but could you at least tell me first?”

The Academy was still closed. It won’t reopen until the Tower is adequately restored. Three students have died in this war. Their deaths have put three other swords in me. Even Natalie’s face was a little hard to look at, and I don’t know what she was thinking.

“How are you doing…I hear you’ve joined Eugene’s family.”

“Yes. They said they’d cover everything, so I went. There’s too much I don’t know and need.”

Eugene and Cora were not dead. Cora’s wounds were deep, but she recovered. Natalie was pardoned for her service in the war. Now free, she decided to live.

“I’m going to take it one day at a time.”

“Good idea.”

Second floor, kitchen. I sat Natalie down at the kitchen table and prepared tea.

“Is there something you want to ask me?”

Natalie held onto her teacup and glared at me.

“Something’s been bothering me.”

I jerked my chin, prompting her to speak.

Natalie sipped her tea and closed her eyes, then spoke.

“You smell like me.”