CH 47

Self-Awareness and Secrets (3)

“But on the other hand, there is no reason why you and I can’t face each other like this—unless we hate to see each other terribly.”

“……”

“Do you hate me?”

“How can that be even possible?”

Roelin shook her head at Kergel’s abrupt question. Then, Kergel nodded at her and replied.

“Me too. If you were even worse than the pile of documents in my office, I wouldn’t have decided to run away here.”

“……?”

Roelin made a strange expression in return. It was because she couldn’t understand what he had just said. Kergel leaned his body forward as he buried himself in the backrest before continuing in a low voice as if it was a top secret story.

“To be honest, I had secretly run away before.”

“What do you mean, run away?”

Roelin’s eyes immediately became round. This was because it had been utterly unimaginable for it to come from the Emperor, the owner of the Empire himself. However, Kergel simply continued to talk casually.

“Monthly settlement reports from each ministry have already been piled up. Heinez was keeping his eyes wide open while telling me to not even move until I had handled it all. Then, he accidentally left his seat for a while and I instantly ran away at that time.”

“……”

“Nevertheless, even if I did run away from the Imperial Palace, I still have no place to go. He’s such a talented person that there’s no place which is out of his sight. And that reminded me of this place. No matter how Heinez was, I thought that he wouldn’t break into the Empress’s Palace just like that.”

Kergel said with a relaxed smile. Roelin was just listening to him without saying anything in particular to his attitude that continued the conversation ever so freely.

He didn’t come over and talk to her just because he had something special. He said something about running away, but it was merely a joke as well.

A joke…

‘I will be joking around with this guy?’

No wonder she felt rather strange. It wasn’t anything unpleasant at all. Or rather, the excitement and joy were all included in himself too.

She never had such a light conversation with anyone else. No one even tried talking to her in the first place after all.

In Rakain, it was like that.

Kergel’s words still continued even while Roelin was recalling her past.

“But I almost encountered him right here. I couldn’t even rest properly and I almost got caught back there.”

Perhaps Heinez, who had just left here a little while ago, had almost met up with Kergel. After giving up on the thoughts of her past, Roelin looked at him with refreshed eyes.

She honestly didn’t understand why he was telling her this rather trivial story. Moreover, it had been questionable whether it was actually possible to say words that could literally hurt the dignity of the Emperor without any sort of hesitation.

But apart from that, she really felt good. As her face began to turn red, Kergel’s voice could then be heard.

“Oh, my. Am I weird?”

“No, it’s not weird… I just don’t really understand.”

Roelin shook her head as she hesitated for a moment before replying to him. Then, Kergel just smiled vaguely and soon continued.

“The Emperor and the Empress are also people themselves.”

“……?”

Roelin looked strange at Kergel’s sudden words. Nonetheless, he just looked at her casually and continued still.

“Sometimes, you just have to make time to breathe. So that you can get away from the position of the Emperor or Empress and merely enjoy your own life. Otherwise, you might be swallowed up in your place while being oblivious to who you actually are.”

“……”

She was just blinking slowly, not responding to anything he had said. Kergel was facing her as he smiled before he stood up from his seat and proceeded to reach out for Roelin.

“Let’s get out of here then.”

“What do you mean? Where…”

Roelin glanced at the hand in front of her and looked at him again puzzlingly. Then, Kergel grabbed a hold of Roelin’s hand and raised her up before he continued.

“Out of the Imperial Palace, of course. Don’t you think we should look at the real Seroif itself?”

“…What do you mean? Your Majesty!”

She followed him with her eyes wide open in surprise at his subsequent words.

However, Kergel did not care as he pointed somewhere within the drawing room.

“The secret passage that leads to the outside of the Imperial Palace is right over there.”

He smiled a little playfully while still meeting her pair of blue eyes.

***

“I just can’t believe it.”

Roelin couldn’t speak properly at the sight of what was right in front of her, but she finally managed to spit it out.

“What’s wrong with you? Come over and pick out your clothes. Of course, they can’t be anything that would catch your eyes, but you still can’t go out in that very outfit now, can you?”

Kergel looked back at her in that loose outerwear. When Roelin made eye contact with him, she blushed without even realizing it and immediately avoided looking at him.

She felt unfamiliar and it was hard to express in words. She tried to calm herself down before she looked at him once again after that.

Not the Emperor of the Empire, but just an ordinary young man was already standing there while looking ultimately relaxed.

“Who would truly think of this man as the Emperor of Seroif?”

It was hard to find the pressure which she had felt from him before. She wouldn’t even think that he was the one who had been the master of the Empire.

He appeared to be a cheerful young man who just knew how to smile.

‘…Maybe this is what this man really looks like right now.’

Roelin recalled what Kergel had said just then.

〈 Sometimes, you just have to make time to breathe. So that you can get away from the position of the Emperor or Empress and merely enjoy your own life. Otherwise, you might be swallowed up in your place while being oblivious to who you actually are. 〉