CH 57

Self-Awareness and Secrets (13)

He eventually strode up the hill. It had also been several times already that a pile of dirt had crumbled in the heavy rain before collapsing again under his feet as he almost slipped. Nevertheless, Kergel never rested and still climbed the hill as if he didn’t even care about it.

However, when he reached right in front of the cave, he stopped without even him realizing it.

“……Even if she didn’t ask me directly, I’m sure she’s all curious now.”

Kergel muttered as he looked at the entrance of the cave.

“Later…”

He laughed out loud. What could be a more cowardly excuse than that? The promise that he made without specifically setting a deadline was actually the same as not keeping it at all.

Nevertheless, when he thought of her who didn’t force him at all, he felt frustrated.

“I’m sure she’s really curious now. Moreover, she saw me calling for a wolf in front of her and gave them orders as well.”

Kergel muttered to himself while keeping his gaze at the entrance of the cave with complicated eyes and breathed heavily. And after exhaling once again, he slowly began to take one step at a time with a calm expression.

It was a situation where heavy rain was pouring and streams were all overflowing, so he had to show his ability right in front of her. He actually decided earlier not to inform her, who was the Royal Daughter of Rakain, for the rest of his life, but there was no other option.

He didn’t bring his subordinates out and it was too urgent to return back to the Imperial Palace to issue the orders. So, he didn’t regret it at all

But…

‘…Should I say that I’m quite scared?’

Kergel casually muttered in his mind and realized his own intention as he  smiled in vain.

Was she afraid?

It was amazing. It had been ridiculous to say that he was afraid if she didn’t care about the fact that he showed her this ability because of his own vigilance.

Besides, he was not going to talk to her right now…

“And actually, that’s the biggest problem of all.”

He wiped off his laughter and hardened his expression then.

He was scared.

He never imagined that it would be so scary to inform his companion, ‘Erita’, about himself.

After revealing that he had been a werewolf, he was afraid of the uncertain future of how she would see him after that. It was just so pathetic and ridiculous.

“Since I pushed it back later…”

He knew better than anyone else that this could never be avoided. As long as she had seen these abilities of his, her questions would never disappear.

Still, it was fortunate for Kergel that he had earned a grace period first.

Aside from making his heart uncomfortable for keeping it as a secret without telling her.

Kergel kept shaking his head to lose off the thoughts that were complicating his mind.

“…Actually, I have to worry about something else altogether.”

Kergel smirked and sighed. If he believed that everything would go smoothly just because he didn’t tell her, that would be a simple groundless optimism.

As long as he embraced the door of ‘Erita’, that could ultimately flow into Rakain’s side as well.

Or if she were to talk about him later to them, the secret could still leak into Rakain as well.

Either way, talking or not, it meant that it could be a threat to Seroif in any manner at all.

But honestly, he wasn’t actually worried about that.

The fact that she would not harm himself and Seroif, if he had ever looked at her truly.

Indeed, it was such a belief with no basis at all. Also, that would be an unresponsive optimism as well.

To the point where it could overshadow the repulsion and prejudice that he had against her.

“It’s okay. It’s useless to think about a problem that can’t be solved anyway.”

After brushing off his face with one hand, he approached the entrance of the cave while wiping off his complicated innermost thoughts. Then, he could hear a growling sound inside the cave and a wolf eventually appeared.

“I should get going.”

Growl.

The wolf looked around the inside of the cave regretfully and turned around slowly. Kergel turned his head again after seeing that the wolf had gone down the hill to join with the other wolves.

“Your Majesty.”

Roelin, who was crouching down in the cave, felt the distance of his footsteps and raised herself instantly. Kergel approached her before he stopped and soon let out a laugh.

“What is that…”

“What?”

“No. It’s nothing.”

He shook his head at the puzzled Roelin. However, Kergel’s corners of mouth still kept on twitching. His expression that had been struggling just outside the cave was nowhere to be seen now.

How could that not be the case?

This woman who had been in front of him was all covered with a lot of wolf fur.

“Anyway, does he really think he’s a dog…?”

Kergel sat next to Roelin before he roughly shook off the fur on her head and clothes. Only then did Roelin’s face turn red as she finally noticed why he was doing so.

She bowed her head while being red to her ears and sat with her knees up. Then, she asked him as if she had suddenly remembered something.

“How is it going outside? Isn’t the damage huge?”

“It’s all right. The rain has become a little lighter than before and I think it will end without much damage. The Imperial Palace must have come up with some countermeasures anyway… Well, Heinez must be swearing at me as much as he can by now though.”

Kergel shook his wet hair off and continued to talk before he finally shut his mouth as it was. Then, Roelin also closed her mouth as if she could guess why he had silenced himself so.

The question which its answer was not able to be heard properly subsided as if it was slowly being washed away by rainwater. It wouldn’t disappear, but it was just buried deep in her heart instead.

‘Just like the sound of rain.’

Roelin realized that the sound of rain from the outside of the cave had gradually subsided. However, she did not even move as if she had no intention of leaving the cave at all.

So, like a person who wasn’t aware of anything, Roelin gathered her knees and pulled them up to her chest before she remained silent with her chin resting on top.

The sound of rain, which had gradually subsided, eventually disappeared and beads of rain started to form at the entrance of the cave. While the pitter-pattering sounds and falling droplets were filling the spot instead.

“Fortunately, it has stopped raining. Let’s go back to the Imperial Palace. I’m sure everyone is all worried by now.”

And Kergel calmly spoke to her as if he only noticed the fact that the rain had finally stopped now.

‘It was the tone of a low-pitched voice.’