Chapter 40: Funeral Without Mourners
What?
Deus wondered if he had misheard and asked again.
If you want to hear it again, I can repeat it, I said, but Deus urgently grabbed me by the collar.
Regret? Did you say regret? You little brat! Why? Do you want to finish me off? Put me to sleep? Huh?! You damn bastard!
......
You crazy bastard! Dont forget you are an evil spirit! I am the real Deus! Why the hell are you playing this absurd act, you damn brat!
Thud!
He swung his fist forcefully, precisely hitting my face, making me stagger back. However, I composed myself and calmly looked at him, catching my breath.
Is that why you tried to kill me?
Yes! If I cant exist as myself, then I have to kill you! Why the hell are you occupying someone elses body so shamelessly anyway!
Watching Deus, who acted like he would rush at me any moment, I could somewhat understand why people called him a lunatic.
Anyway.
There was one thing I had to ask.
Then why didnt you try to kill me at Verdi mansion?
......
Deus hesitated, wanting to say something, but kept his mouth shut, perhaps out of pride.
Im not asking because I dont know the reason. Dont think you can hide it by staying silent.
You...!
First, other spirits might have scared you. The Verdi mansion was overflowing with spirits that used to mess around with you.
The original Deus must have seen the same thing as me after I possessed his body - Countless spirits roaming the mansion, mocking him.
Deus must not have been able to bear such an environment.
At least in North Whedon, the name of the Verdi family justified all his actions and prevented open criticism.
But after death, everyone was equally dead, regardless of status.
So, he hid deeply within me. Because he didnt want to lose his identity and pride.
But that wasnt the only reason. Even after I took care of the spirits, you still didnt come out.
......
But then, when I returned to the academy, you came out to kill me right away at night.
Shut up.
Deus clenched his fist again, but this time, I didnt let him hit me. I sidestepped his attack.
Do you know how many punches I took while having conversations with ghosts in thin air when I was young?
In fact, avoiding the punch of a shabby street fighter like Deus was always possible.
Swoosh!
Deus swung his fist through the empty air and ended up falling down awkwardly.
I looked down at him and delivered the truth he never wanted to acknowledge.
Because there was a possibility.
Stop!
Just like I did after taking over your body, you realized that there was a possibility to reverse everything for you too.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Deus, frustrated, pounded the floor with his fists and shed tears again.
You always thought you couldnt change anymore. You believed that the turning point of your life had already passed.
Dont say it!
Thats why you regretted it so much. You didnt want to admit that things could turn out like this.
I looked at Deus, who was sobbing, and knelt down, placing my hand on his back.
You wished for me to be ruined. Thats why while I was at the academy, you always tried to kill me, but after getting expelled, you no longer needed to do that.
Because he thought I would follow the same process of ruin as him.
But I returned to the academy once again. Not only that, I was reinstated as a professor under much better conditions.
What was the cause?
An overdose of drugs?
Or perhaps his brain froze from alcohol?
Could it have been a sudden cardiac arrest, given the name Karma?
I didnt know.
Deus didnt know either.
He had simply closed his eyes, comfortably slipping into sleep, while the deeds he had committed came to light, and I woke up.
Thats why Deus was trying to kill me.
Knowing that he had no chance of survival, he could throw his body without hesitation.
I dont judge good or evil, I only listen to the souls stories and help grant their wishes if I find it appropriate.
I walked towards him, who had fallen pitifully. Despite shouting for me to stay away, again and again, he finally broke down in tears, exhausted.
You are the only soul I will help, even if I dont understand or find it appropriate.
Because I am using your body.
I thought it was a fair price to pay.
I will show Deia and Darius, who you hurt, and many others a new Deus. He will be confident and proud, to the extent that the old memories wont come back.
...
Illuania, the one you loved, will raise the child in a stable job without going through a life of misery. Of course, I will also cut off the drugs.
Deus didnt look at me.
Ugh! Damn it.
As if looking back on his entire life, he began crying.
Dont forget your promises, you bastard!
With a sob, he muttered those words and threw them at me.
Hence, I finally recited the funeral rite for him.
You were intensely selfish and caused a lot of pain to many people. No excuse could ever justify it.
No tears, no sobbing.
It was Deus Verdis quiet funeral, which no one attended.
Deus slowly began to turn into a light cluster from his toes, yet he didnt resist.
Thats why no one mourns your death or longs for you. This is just the result of your sins and crimes.
He was still shedding tears. Numerous regrets and deep sorrow enveloped him.
But thats not everything.
I calmly closed my eyes and held my hands together.
You, who never once thought of others, finally granted someone a chance at the very end.
I gently bowed my head as if not wanting to witness his desperate end.
As the person who received that chance, I can not deny that...
Could this really offer any solace to him as he departs?
It didnt matter.
At the very end, now that you made a choice for others and shed tears in regret, you were undoubtedly a human who could change.
The only comfort I could offer as the one who received a new life from him was this.
Satisfied with that, close your eyes in peace, Deus.
When I opened my eyes again, Deus Verdi had already disappeared.
I didnt know if he cried until the moment he died or if he found some solace.
But...
Seeing myself turning into Deus Verdi again, I turned around without hesitation.
May you fall into a deep slumber where you can forget your sins.
--- End of The Chapter --
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