CH 116

Chapter 116: A battle of sincerity

“You can stay here if you just want to sleep while holding my hands.”

“I have no hobby of being tortured voluntarily.” 

I noticed, somehow, Sigren looked better than before even though he rejected my offer. Don’t tell me, he’s been deprived because I didn’t want him to kiss me? It’s not, right?

“Fiona.”

“What?”

Sigren was petting my fingers as if he regretted something, he then said abruptly, “Tell me you’re annoyed.”

“Huh? By you?”

“No, not me. By that lady, who came into my room and tried to seduced me.”

“Aren’t you more annoyed than me?”

I then tried to imagine if I were in his position, a handsome man lying on my bed then trying to seduce me, begging me to hug him while looking at me sweetly….

Oops.. Imagining it, I think it’s okay…?

But, this wasn’t it.

I shook my head. Basic manners are necessary between people. 

“Right, I think that lady has no basic common sense.”

“I expected a stronger response, but….”

Sigren kissed my palm and sighed. 

“I think right now I should be satisfied with this.”

Sigren stared at me. His dazzling eyes were looking at me as if he wanted to entrap me. Being stared at with those eyes made me feel embarrassed for a moment, so I covered his eyes with her hand. 

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Why?” Sigren asked softly. “Are you embarrassed? Or do you hate it?”

“Not both.”

“Then?”

“Well…”

I felt emotional all of a sudden that my tears almost came down. 

Sigren is precious to me. It has been like that ever since the beginning. It is natural that I want him to be the happiest. However, after spending a very long time together, I realized, instead of me who gave him the happiness, he was the one who gave me the most love in this world. What happened at this moment could not be more clear that his feeling for me was sincere. And this whole time, I was the one who left him alone. 

If I’m also sincere with him? I couldn’t help but strongly believe he must be very happy. 

However, it was the first love affair between two people, who were also basically in the college student age. 

Sigren said he likes me. But for me, he was the only one in the world. If I too gave him my complete sincere feeling, I would be completely immersed in it. I would be very afraid of losing him. Then if we broke up….

A broken heart was the reason Fiona fell into the darkness.

Like her, I too would suffer from irreparable wounds. 

However, now it was getting harder and harder to keep distance from Sigren. 

In honesty, the moment I accepted his confession, I knew the space I had created between us was blurred. And I also knew that I accepted his confession not just because of having a dating relationship. I was vaguely aware that, deep down, my love has been twisted. 

‘So, please leave when I can let you go without seriously getting hurt. So that you can meet someone who can make you happy, who can give you more noble love.’

I removed my hand and kissed Sigren’s neck very lightly. 

Ah, if I let myself immerse in that feeling, that sincere feeling… 

Right.

All this time, I wanted to have him.

***

Originally, we were going to stay for only a day, but the plan was delayed. Because it was raining. It was difficult to move in the rain, and we have a large number of people. So, It would be much harder. Therefor, eventually, Sigren decided to leave a day later. 

And because of that, I was invited to a tea party by the Viscount’s daughter. It was the lady who sneaked into Sigren’s room yesterday.

Should I go, though? Well, why should I be hesitant? There was no reason for me to care. She’s the one who did wrong. 

It was a small tea party in the greenhouse. 

It was raining outside, I think it wasn’t bad to accept it. 

“Tell me that I accepted it with pleasure.” I said to the maid who brought the invitation.

When I was walking in the hallway, I ran into Eunice.

“Lady Fiona.”

“Did Lady Eunice also get invited?” I couldn’t see Eunice often, so I was pleasantly surprised.

“Yes. I’ve been in the same entourage with Lady Fiona, but I couldn’t see your face often.”

“I was riding a horse.”

“Is that so? Still, would you come to the carriage. I’m bored by myself.” Eunice cheeks turned rosy when she said those words.

“Alright. You must have a hard time in this trip.”

“Well, it’s my duty….”

I was a little saddened seeing Eunice’s expression dimmed at the end of her words. It must be difficult to suddenly shoulder the expectation of so many people. 

My conversation with Eunice stopped when we arrived at the greenhouse.

“We’ve been expecting you.”

The organizer of this tea time was the eldest daughter of the viscount, Lady Heather Arden. It was said that she was the most beautiful woman on this estate. Well, she was beautiful. She was a glamorous lady with dark brown hair and blue eye. Her red lips were plump and attractive.

“Thank you for accepting the invitation.”

“Don’t mention it.”

When we went into the greenhouse, it turned out we weren’t the only ones invited. 

“These are the young ladies of the nearby estate.” 

Their eyes were fixed on us who suddenly appeared. The atmosphere was stiff as they suddenly stopped talking. 

I smiled awkwardly. “It must be hard to come here as it’s raining.”

The young ladies finally opened their mouths. 

“It was not as difficult as my lady’s thought. Nice to meet you.”

“It’s an honor to meet two great people.”

I could feel a peculiar awkward sense in the air. It was like the feeling when you join a group that has been formed.

Eunice and I sat down next to each other.

Then, a random conversation started to appear. And for some reason, they were very interested in me.

“I heard that Lady Heilon was living in the North before.”