CH 97

The expression on Lin Han’s face froze, and his hand remained as it was.

He YunTing saw this made him sad, opened his mouth, but still didn’t take his words back.

“Put on your gloves, okay?” His voice had a rare urgent pleading, seeminly impatient, but also sorrowful.

Lin Han wanted to ask why for a moment, but after converging his eyes and seeing his own hands, he hesitated and nodded, “Mn.”

“I’m sorry.” He YunTing turned around to look at him again, as if he knew his words would hurt Lin Han, and apologized in a deep voice.

Lin Han met his eyes without blinking or avoiding them. The look in his eyes was the familiar and quiet love, but there was some gentle sorrow. If the person in front of him wasn’t He YunTing, and Lin Han saw such a look, he would have felt that the other was about to cry.

He wanted to hold He YunTing’s hand more than ever, but finally withdrew his hands.

He YunTing must have something to say, in his recovered memory, something must’ve happened. Something that would make him subconsciously not want to speak about it.

“Okay.” Lin Han then stopped asking. Because of the mind reading problem, he still had the habit of carrying gloves with him. Lin Han looked down and took his gloves out, put one on his right hand, and looked up to see He YunTing’s cold, hard lips, and eyes full of impatience.

He seemed to come closer, as if he couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him, but was afraid that his heart would be heard, so he stopped. He seemed to be digesting the memories that had returned to his mind, as if he was still hesitant to tell him what had happened, and to refuse his touch with a determined heart. 

He seemed to be really sad.

Like he wanted to get closer, but could only stay still. 

Lin Han’s heart softened again.

“Wait a minute.” He curved his eyes and temporarily stopped moving.

He YunTing didn’t know why, but only looked at him in silence.

Lin Han came forward, his right hand held on the other’s shoulder, but his left hand squeezed the glove he hadn’t put on, and very lightly covered He YunTing’s lips with the glove.

The silk gloves felt cold and delicate to the touch. He YunTing didn’t have time to react before a pair of warm soft lips kissed him. Lin Han kissed him through the gloves. He just pressed against his lips and was very quiet with no other movements.

When the soft gloves were also tinged with the warmth of his lips, Lin Han took two steps back and said, “That’s enough, don’t be afraid.”

Lin Han then went on to put the remaining glove on and tried to shake it in front of He YunTing’s eyes, “I’ll put on—”

But before he could say the next words, he was hugged by He YunTing after confirming that he had put on his gloves. He YunTing seemed to have been waiting for this moment, just as he had been waiting for Lin Han downstairs in the days when he hadn’t been able to say goodbye.

He was waiting for him to put on his gloves, just like he was waiting for Lin Han to walk to the window and find him without realizing it.

He YunTing was very silent, but also hugged very tightly, so tight that Lin Han wanted to cry out in pain. He swallowed his voice because of He YunTing’s obvious shaking filled with cherishment. Even if Lin Han couldn’t hear anything, he could easily perceive from this hug that he was afraid.

The reason for this was that Lin Han didn’t struggle, but cooperated in letting him hold him, and stretched out his gloved hand, patting He YunTing’s back.

“Don’t be afraid.” He said.

He YunTing, I’m here.

I’m standing in front of you, I will give you hugs and love you.

Don’t be afraid.

He YunTing had heard so many praises in his adult life, how many people’s eyes were on him, either in admiration or in reverence? They said he was the youngest General of the Empire, a hope, a sharp blade, praised his valor and scorned his coldness. But no one would ever tell him, Don’t be afraid.

Lin Han felt the fluctuation of He YunTing’s emotions, felt the hand clasped on his waist, felt his not-so-steady breathing after hearing his comfort.

He was just an ordinary person.

After a long time, until He YunTing calmed down again, Lin Han finally heard his hoarse voice.

“You’re okay… That’s wonderful.”

“Mn, I’m fine.” Lin Han’s voice was light and soft, but still worried about He YunTing’s newly regained memory, he asked softly, “Are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere?”

He YunTing shook his head on his shoulder.

“Did it all come back to you?” Lin Han said, his eyes going to the perfectly ordinary stone.

He YunTing answered, releasing Lin Han a little and saying, “Mn.” 

“It’s about me, isn’t it?” Lin Han looked at him and said very calmly, “The reason for not wanting me to know.”

“…Mn,” He YunTing’s voice lowered another notch, his arms slightly loosened as they wrapped around the person in his arms a little tighter again, “I’m sorry.”

“Is it something I can’t know?” Lin Han asked.

“No.” This time He YunTing answered quickly, but the words that followed didn’t come out.

No, it’s exactly what you have the right to know.

He YunTing thought back to the scene he had just retraced, remembered a certain middle-aged man who looked paranoid and finally died under his gun, and remembered the other party’s sardonic smile before he died. For the first time, he exposed his vulnerability so frankly in front of Lin Han, and buried himself a little deeper with his chin against his shoulder, “I…”

I’m just afraid you’ll be sad.

But he couldn’t let Lin Han wear the gloves forever, even if Lin Han understood him and cooperated with him. Once the dusty secret was revealed, how could he easily say that he didn’t care?

“If it’s possible, I hope Mr. Lin never finds out.” He paused for a moment before speaking.

He YunTing was still not used to calling him by his nickname, and even after the two of them had done everything, he still called the title Mr. Lin from time to time, with a respectful tenderness that was different from everyone else.

He wanted to ask, Do you remember your mother?

He wanted to say, It’s okay, no one can hurt you anymore.

But He YunTing couldn’t say a word. He clearly only wanted Lin Han to be able to do what he wanted to do without worrying, always remaining happy, always pure.

He YunTing felt Lin Han’s gentle patting on his back.

I can’t say I regret it, after all, it was my own choice to get my memories back.

It’s just a bit of a pity that he didn’t even manage to figure out this most basic logic.

Lin Han heard He YunTing’s words and hesitated for a moment in the movement of his hands. This time He YunTing finally didn’t wait for Lin Han to speak and said the rest of the words himself.

“But, I have already taken the liberty to make a decision for you once.” He YunTing’s voice lightened a bit when he said these words. He sighed and looked at him deeply, “If Mr. Lin wants to know… This time, the decision is in your hands.”

“Okay.” After a long time, Lin Han moved his lips, “Then I won’t ask you first.”

He re-lifted the corners of his mouth and pulled his gloves, “I’ll wait for you to tell me yourself.”

Lin Han saw He YunTing nod before continuing, “But you have to trust me too.”

He YunTing reached for Lin Han’s gloved five fingers, as if after recovering his memory, he began to desperately want to touch Lin Han, hug or hold hands, as if this would prove that he had lived three years in good health, and that his life and work were going well.

“I’m not as fragile as you think,” Lin Han smiled as he felt He YunTing clasp his right hand and squeeze all five of his fingers again, holding them tightly together, “You have to trust Mr. Lin.”

“There’s no need to tell me today,” Lin Han picked up the stone, “But this one is mine too, okay?”

He YunTing’s expression eased a bit at this moment, “Okay.”

But he couldn’t help but think, he gifted the same thing twice, and it was nothing new. But he was always silent, and now he wouldn’t say it.

Lin Han, however, seemed to know what he was thinking, “It’s not the same. The one before was your birthday present for me. This one now, I asked you for it myself,” Lin Han said with a smile, as if he really didn’t care about those memories related to himself, “just as if I had brought back those years when you were alone.”

It was a recorder and a witness.

Then I will hide it, and it can be considered as taking back the time without me.

The nebula will definitely appear again, and the tulips will definitely bloom again.

From now on we will never miss each other again, all the shortcomings will slowly be filled, little by little, year by year.

— 

Since he returned to the base, He Yunting couldn’t go back immediately, the training results needed to be tested, and the newly introduced batch of weapons needed to be counted as well.

When Lu AnHe sent Lin Han back, he saw that both of them were in good shape, and he was finally relieved when he was scared all the way.

Lin Han was no different than usual, still politely smiling and thanking him, not mentioning what happened back then.

It’s just that Lu AnHe was very strange.

The two should have talked things over, but his boss didn’t leave the room all day, nor did he give any orders, and he didn’t even come out to eat.

He Yunting had locked himself in the house for too long.

There was no way for him not to think back to what happened three years ago.

He didn’t know what he could say to Lin Han, and how to start the conversation.

Was he going to tell Lin Han directly that his name had been included in the “Burning Blood” plan from early on?

He was going to tell him that Lin Han was accidentally pushed by someone once in college and had a bruise, but the university hospital had to take his blood just to get his personal sample?

It was just that he knew too late—

But luckily, it was still possible to catch up.

He Yunting’s eyes dimmed, and that day three years ago came rushing back to his mind like a pinprick.

He didn’t let anyone get away with it, and his operation was successful, even following the vine to find out who was behind it in one fell swoop, and solving it in the cleanest way possible to ensure that there would be no surprises.

He just didn’t expect the unexpected, but came from the last words of the man before he died.

The decision maker at that time was named Gu Miao, already shot through the heart by He Yunting with a gun, yet his eyes were still crazy, flashing with a tyrannical and cold light, even lightly talking about a certain cruel past event.

“——Do you know how his mother died?”

“You like him so much, can you bear not to look for him, not to have any contact with him for the rest of your life?” The man, who was pierced by a bullet, yet not immediately dead, said mockingly to He Yunting.

“Do you know that your Mr. Lin has the ability to read minds? You protected him, even if you could hold back and keep everything to yourself, he would still eventually hear your thoughts and be tortured by these truths—”

Bang…

He fired another shot at the dying man.

The man’s blood splashed onto his face, while He Yunting’s expression remained unmoving, his blue eyes like a cold glacier that never melted.

“Then just let me forget about these things too.”