CH 42

I was angry.

You don’t know anything.

–I know how you feel.

What the hell do you know?

Do you know how my parents treated me?

I was even more angry when he said bad things about my brother, who had been so kind to me.

And you know what the future holds?

I can’t help but think he’s joking. He is completely making fun of me.

I think it’s crazy to believe that my brother would do something to Nanami for such a reason.

“…………”

The memory of when we first met comes back to me. I’m not sure what would have happened to me if he hadn’t done what he did.

I remember how uncomfortable I felt when he explained why he hugged me after that.

I shook my head.

But it was impossible for him to know the future.

Anyway. Let’s find my brother──Yuto and ask him. I’m sure it’s a mistake that he was following Nanami. Even if it was true, there must have been a reason. It must be so.

I’m not sure what the problem is, but I’m sure there’s a reason for it.

……This guy’s words caught my attention again.

The fact that he disappeared during the Golden Week holiday.

Even today, he suddenly disappeared all by himself.

There was no end to the things that had happened before that. But I put them out of my mind.

There was no point in worrying about it. Because Yuto was always free and uninhibited. He was a free spirit, but he was kind to me.

It was just his personality.

With these thoughts in my mind, I went back to my grandmother’s house.

Yuto said he was returning home to pick up something he had forgotten. But there was no Yuto at home.

I looked around the house in my wet clothes. Then Grandma, who was cooking in the kitchen, came out into the living room.

“Hey, Yuri chan. What happened to school? And you’re soaking wet like that. ……”

“Grandma, did Yuto come home yet?”

“Yuto? He left this morning.”

“He said He forgot something.”

“Is that so? But no one came to the house today… Oh, Yuri-chan!”

I ran out of the house halfway through my grandmother’s story. I apologized in my heart to grandma and I called Yuto.

“Where are you ……?”

I felt a strange stirring in my chest. Not ……. This is because he said something strange to me. It must be so.

After that, I tried to contact Yuto, but he never responded. I looked around in the heavy rain but couldn’t find Yuto.

Then it was dusk. Even at that time of night, I still hadn’t heard from Yuto.

My anxiety was getting worse.

“What should I do?…”

The words of my mother flashed back to me.

–I don’t expect anything from you, but at least you can do something about it.

I’m still a useless child who can’t do anything.

My eyes are burning. The back of my nose is burning. There is no one. I am all alone in the world. I fall into such a feeling.

The rain continues to soak me without stopping.

“Hey, is that Yuri-chan?”

The one who called out to me was his guardian – the store manager.

◆

I was worried that I looked like I was going to die in the heavy rain – the manager told me so and brought me to the store.

Not knowing what to do, I followed the manager’s lead.

The manager quickly changed the sign out front to “Close” and offered me a towel, change of clothes, and warm coffee.

“Sorry……,. I need to change my clothes……”

“No, it’s okay! If his friend was soaking wet in a place like that, of course I would be worried!”

I couldn’t nod my head when she said friend.

“I’m glad the clothes fit you so well. I love your style.”

The manager sat down in front of me with a self-praise I couldn’t quite understand.

I was now wearing jeans and a T-shirt that I borrowed from the manager.

She stares at me and I don’t know what to make of it.

“What about the …… store? It’s closed.”

I looked away for the time being and asked what was on my mind.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I open and close this store according to my mood. Besides, it’s raining today and it doesn’t look like there will be many customers.”

“I see. ……”

Perhaps the manager’s free style is the secret to the store’s popularity.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier as I looked out the window.

I had to find Yuto as soon as possible, but I wondered if I could relax in such a place.

I’m going to have to go look for him again as soon as I drink this.

“You look anxious.”

The manager said as if she could read my mind.

“Um, …… I’ll leave as soon as I take this.”

“It’s fine. Take your time. What are you in such a hurry for, young fellow?”

“My …… brother has gone away. I have to find him as soon as possible.”

“Your little brother. That’s terrible. But it’s raining hard outside. If you want to go out, it would be better to go out after the rain gets a little weaker, wouldn’t it?”

It was true that the rain outside was getting heavier. That’s why I’m even more worried. Only me, I wonder if I can stay in a place like this. I want to find Yuto as soon as possible and feel relieved.

“I’m sure you’re anxious, but there’s no point in being in a hurry, okay?”

“I know that …….”

“No, you don’t understand. You don’t know the impatience of a woman whose marriage life is not going well.”

“…………”

The manager interrupts me every now and then with something I don’t understand. I am at a loss, not knowing what reaction to give to that.

I was at a loss because I couldn’t find Yuto until a while ago. So leaving right now won’t change anything. I know that in my heart, but it’s not that easy. And that’s all because he said some strange things.

“And one more thing. What’s up with that kid?”

“…….”

My heart jumped.

I was wondering if she was a psychic or something.

As if she saw it coming, she was able to guess what it was.

“Earlier, when I said you were his friend, you had this indescribable look on your face.”

“…………”

It seems that I was showing too much on my face. I felt bad and again, I didn’t know what to say.

“The fact that you’re in a hurry and that something happened with that kid. Surely this isn’t unrelated?”

“…… manager, why don’t you become a fortune teller?”

“Was I right about that, too?”

“Not only was it right, but I’m afraid that you can see right through me.”

I speak honestly about what I think. It was such an accurate question that I thought she was really watching me somewhere.

“Oh no, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry. Well, you know, when you listen to people in this store for so many years, you start to get a feel for what they are thinking.”

…… Is that how it works?

“You know, if you have a problem, why don’t you talk to sister about it? You might be able to tell me something because I’m a complete stranger, right?”

“……, right”

“Yeah. I think that if you erase the fuzziness in your chest, your vision will be clearer and you’ll be able to see some things, right?”

Strangely, I felt that I could confide in this manager about my current worries and anxieties.

Is it because my mind has been hit as if by magic since a while ago?

I was impatiently trying to find my brother right away just now, but then I realized that I was being carried along at the manager’s pace.

And …… maybe it was simply because I was in the mood to talk to someone about this blurring in my heart right now.

I guess I can wait until the rain weakens just a little bit more …….

“I don’t have a very good relationship with my parents. Lately I’ve been able to forget about them, but when I ran into my parents today by accident, they reminded me of all the bad things I’ve been through again.”

It was the first time I confided in someone other than Nanami about my personal situation.

The manager listened to my story with a serious expression on her face.

“That’s when he came to me and suddenly said things. He doesn’t know anything about me. That’s why I got angry….”

It’s true that I was angry because of what he said about my brother, but more than anything, I was also irrationally irritated that he knew and cared about my past.

I didn’t want your pity.

You’re usually just a pain in the ass, so why …… only at times like this? I wanted to be left alone.

“…… I see. I’m not sure what you mean. You know, that kid…..”

The manager nodded deeply as she listened to me.

Her eyes were filled with melancholy.

“Somehow, I know what he said to me.”

“What do you mean…..?”

“I’ve lived here for a long time. So, I’ve known your grandmother for a long time, and I’m very familiar with her. So I know a little bit about how you came to live here. I’m sorry to say this after you told me.”

“…………!”

I didn’t think anyone other than my grandmother and Nanami knew about me.

They say that in the countryside, stories turn fast, but I wonder if my grandma told them.

Strangely enough, I don’t feel bad about it.

“I’ve only known that boy a short time, but he’s got quite a clumsy personality. Knowing that child’s situation, I have to say …… that I don’t think he’s lying when he says that.”

“…………”

The manager is extremely serious.

I had no idea what she was talking about.

But I immediately understood what she was talking about.

“That kid, too. His parents abandoned him.”

“…!”

-I know how you feel.

I remember the look on his face when he said that.

That’s right. I’m not sure if it’s the same face he showed when we were climbing the mountain,……, as if he’s stuck in the past forever and can’t move forward.

“It would be more correct to say that he was used until he was torn to pieces, rather than discarded.”

“Used……”

“Yes, her parents have always been a bunch of hopeless people. They didn’t work at all. They didn’t do anything at home, so he did everything. From the time he was in junior high school, he worked for his parents by falsely claiming to be of age. Because of that, he gave up everything he wanted to do and started to think only about money. Even so, he was able to do his best because he had his precious little sister.”

It was the first time I heard such a thing. He never said a single word about it. …………

He had a sister. I wonder if she lives apart from him now

“Why is he here?…”

“He was in the hospital just a little while ago. He was involved in a crime that his parents planned and had an accident. His sister died at that time. He had no relatives, so he came here through various acquaintances.”

Then, shocked. What came next was anger and shame.

I wondered how he had felt when he had approached me. Now I understand.

—-What’s the point in worrying about that? Asagiri is here now, having a good time with Kurase. Isn’t that enough?

I can’t help but think that those words were meant for me.

I was the one who thought I understood.

“I only heard about it through people, too. I don’t know exactly what happened. Besides, that boy never talks about himself at all, does he? Oh, and Yuri chan, too? I think you guys are pretty much alike.”

I have mixed feelings when she says that. I have felt that I was a lot like him before. But it was just a feeling.

After learning about his past, I never thought that he had experienced something similar to me.

No, it was similar, but not the same.

Possibly

“I said …… something terrible …….”

I mumble and tears well up in my eyes. My head is even more messed up.

“Haha, I can see that.”

For some reason, the manager laughed at that.

“But you don’t have to worry about it. He probably didn’t even tell you what happened to him, and he probably said some things that weren’t very nice to you. That’s what he deserved! He doesn’t understand the female mind! In that case, he should have just shut up and hugged you. I’ll let him know next time, don’t worry.”

The manager wiped my tears and winked at me.

Thanks to the manager, I didn’t have to feel so gloomy. If I had just listened to him, I would have sunk deeper. It was such a heavy story.

“Besides, that boy is even more amazing than I thought he was.”

“Yes,……, that’s right,…….”

From what I heard, it must not have been that long since he went through that. And yet, I thought it was amazing that he was already able to live a normal life. But even so, he still made a face like that.

The manager told me not to worry about it, but I knew I had to apologize to him the next time I saw him.

Now that I know what happened to him, I feel a little clearer inside my head.

He has a similar past to me. I realized that my worries were true.

The other thing that remains in my heart is my brother.

The anxiety has not gone away yet.

What he said. I don’t think anyone can know the future, but….

….my brother──Yuto has always moved around as he likes, beyond my prediction

Each time I thought Yuto was just that kind of uninhibited kid, but then again, I think about whether there was anything wrong with his behavior in a calm way.

“…………”

The only one brother who was kind to me.

I want to believe in Yuto like that.

After all, I can’t understand it even if I think about it in my head. I may be thinking about Yuto blindly.

I’m not sure if I’m thinking about Yuto blindly or not, so I’m going to face him and talk to him properly.

“Oh, the rain. It’s getting better. It would be best if it cleared up, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to stop today.”

The manager looked out the window.

“Do you feel a little better now?”

“Yes.”

“The umbrella, the black one right there. You can use it!”

“Thank you.”

I get up and head out.

Once again, let’s calm down and look for a place where Yuto might go.

“I’m not sure if it’s okay that I borrowed such a nice looking one.”

The umbrella I picked up was a very solid, sturdy, and nice umbrella.

“Oh, it’s fine. It’s his.”

“Hahaha. ……”

I felt sorry for him this time.