CH 134

But wasn’t that the case? This was the first time I had ever loved somebody this much. It was also the first time that someone I loved was touching themselves in front of me defenselessly. It would be a lie if I said it wasn’t stimulating.

“…” His wretched eyes narrowed, meeting my heated ones.

I wasn’t sure what kind of face I was making. I was trying to stay composed, but the moment I saw those watery eyes, my last thread of patience snapped. I felt so overwhelmed that I said, “I love you.”

“…”

“I really do.”

His squinting eyes twitched. I don’t know what he felt, but his glassy black eyes overflowed with tears. He swallowed back his sobs and clenched his jaws. Transparent droplets rolled down his cheeks and fell.

Oh, dear. I furrowed my brow. After regaining his memories, he would often shed tears for reasons unknown to me. He was on edge, and his spirit grew wearier. He lost control of his feelings and rationality; hence, they bucked and ran amok within him.

“I’m sorry. I was hard on you…” Eventually, I had no choice but to apologize. I pulled him into my arms and gently stroked his sweat-soaked back. I wanted to give him love, not coerce him to violate his body and heart. I brought my lips to his forehead and earlobes and whispered, “I’ll help you.”

As he winced and grew tense, I tried to console him and extended my hand. I overlapped my hand over his, still on his groin, and wrapped my fingers around his member. I made him stroke his member more vigorously, then I dropped my fingers further down, prodding at his soft flesh and the base of his shaft. He flinched and jerked between me and the wall.

His other hand grabbed my shoulder. I continued to stimulate him and kissed his lips. I nibbled on his bottom lip and pushed into between his lips to explore the inside of his mouth. “Ngh,” he moaned softly and turned his head away. I felt his member growing more heated from the continued friction. As his fever transferred from his hand to mine, I felt a slickness on my fingertips.

“Hngh!” he moaned.

I grabbed his chin and shoved my thumb between his teeth. Every time he was excited, his pearly white teeth clamped down on my thumb. I could feel his tongue grazing my nail. I lapped up his saliva that was dribbling down his chin before shoving my tongue into his mouth. I kissed him deeply and rubbed against his lower half. The moan that was trapped in his throat reverberated inside.

His resonating moan transferred to my mouth clamped down onto his. The hairs on the back of my head stood in intense gratification and excitement. I wanted to stick closer to him and touch him more. I wanted to feel everything about him.

One body after another, and then yet another body. After Yeonseon, I don’t know how many times I switched bodies. All of them were beings with completely different memories, habits, and physical conditions. Yet each time, all of them got excited for the same person. That felt like the only evidence that confirmed my existence.

“Oh, Yeonseon,” he sighed.

Yes, that was it.

I watched the other, who cried out my name. Shedding tears from either humiliation or excitement, his flushed face stared up at me. My reflection in his black eyes was like a star twinkling in the dark night. I couldn’t help but smile. “As always, you’re the most beautiful when you’re being loved by me.”

Perhaps he was stimulated by a memory of when I was Yeonseon. He wept with a contorted face. In my embrace, his body grew warmer. Even if I wasn’t Yeonseon, he could love me. Because I was myself. I felt so moved that I kissed him.

Not long after, he ej*culated from our hands. Of course, the deed didn’t end there. I touched and licked his body, now tense for reasons different from before. I stripped off his clothes from his aroused body and pushed my member inside him.

Every time the word “love” came from my lips, he shuddered. My poor and lonely lover—for all that time he held out on his own, I wanted to love him for longer than that time of endurance.

I felt like I only existed when he was feeling my love.