CH 144

It drove me crazy to think that rather than the madness of the mansion, I played the biggest role in turning that angelic child into this.

So, there would be no way that I would leave him first. My body was Haeseo’s. I hadn’t even found a way to return it to him yet, so I couldn’t simply run away or die. The indescribable misery made me grit my teeth and clench my fists. My teeth squeaked as they ground together.

With great difficulty, I lifted my head and said, “So…”

I was about to tell him that he didn’t need to feel anxious, but I was rendered speechless at the sight unfolding before me. He was still looking shocked, and tears plopped from his eyes. Placed firmly on the table, his hands didn’t budge. He merely shed tears, frozen in his seat.

It was my turn to be astonished. I reflexively waved and moved about my limbs.

“Oh, sorry. I’m sorry.” When our eyes met, unable to deal with his tears, he waved his hands—flustered—and wiped off his chin and the cover of his booklet. I wasn’t sure if it was just my imagination, but his fingers and face looked completely pallid. Wiping away all his tears, he grinned dryly after meeting my eyes. “I was very surprised.”

His excuse made the pit of my stomach grow cold. He grimaced and took a deep breath. “But it’s the first time, right? After coming out of the mansion… I pretended I was unaffected, but I must have been very tense. I told you, as long as we are trapped in a body, a part of us is greatly influenced by the brain. I never doubted your affection toward Yeonseon, but I was anxious that you only liked me because I was bound to that brain. I don’t want to be hated by you.”

“It’s not like that,” I said.

“So, you don’t hate me. Okay, that’s good enough for me right now,” he said.

It was then that I realized that I had stood from my seat. I sat back down and retracted my right arm that was dangling midair. However, it was too late. He looked at my right hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

He realized that I was reaching out to console him, to stop him from crying. Heat rose to my face. It was a cold heat, mixed with embarrassment and shame. I barely managed to maintain my tone and say, “It’s nothing.” My stomach broiled hot and cold. The back of my neck was damp with cold sweat, dripping down my back. I tried to calm myself down and balled my hands into fists.

Was he acting? At the same time the doubt popped into my head, I remembered what he looked like just now, so I didn’t know what to do with myself. He could be acting. A memory echoed in my ears: “I know when you feel moved, and I know what words you’re weak to.”

The words I was weak to…

“…”

But even if that were the case, the affection engraved deeply within his words was not a lie. I already knew that, and that was the issue. Even if I were deceived by him, there was no trickery to his deception.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I knew that he would check on me.

I looked at the man and pursed my lips. The droplets of tears clinging onto the man’s long lashes looked fake. I knew what he wanted. However, when his glassy eyes curved pleasantly, I couldn’t stop my heart from plummeting hard.

I remembered when I first held Yeonseon’s hand. After crossing the bridge, he lifted my hands and asked, “It’s fine, right?”

He wiped off the sweat on my forehead with his hands.

“You still have a lot to think about, right? About us.” His fingertips tickled my forehead. He continued to whisper in a subdued voice, “Keep thinking. And after you think about it enough, make your conclusion and tell me.”

“…”

“I can wait for as long as you need. We have all the time in the world.”

A shudder ran down my spine, but I wasn’t sure what I was afraid of because he was so kind and gentle. I wasn’t sure whether this fear was an alarm sounded by my brain or my mind.