It's a beautiful sunny day. The sunlight is warm and seems to melt away this winter. I puff a cigarette on the balcony while gazing at the blue sky.
Clouds are floating in the sky, and thanks to the dry winter air, I can see them beautifully. I felt somewhat uncomfortable, as if I was blindfolded by the smoke.
The wine I had consumed at Miya-san's house had made my sleep shallow. I woke up before seven in the morning. I took a shower and spent the rest of the day fiddling with my phone, but it was past 10:00 a.m. I felt like I had wasted my time. I felt like I wasted a lot of time.
"Oh...... what a waste of time."
I would have been a saint yesterday to mutter that. I can't believe I took Miya-san home without incident and came back in a cab without seeing her sleeping face or anything. Nothing but a waste.
Thinking about it calmly, when was the last time I had such a scene with a girl? It would be fair to say that I had grown dull, but I can't help feeling that if I had been a little younger, I would have made a move on her.
I let out the smoke in my mouth and looked at the face of Miina Yamamoto in my mind. I am confident that I would die with a single blow if I were to be lured with a face like that.
No, I must have made the right decision yesterday. It's better than making a bad move and getting abused by Miya-san and her. Yes, it was a good thing.
I push my cigarette into the portable ashtray and return to my room. Even though it was sunny, I felt cold after staying there for so long. That's why the warmth of the heater spreading throughout the room soaked into my body.
"I'm hungry......"
Thinking back, I haven't eaten anything since I woke up. That said, I don't cook for myself often, so all I have in the fridge is alcohol and water.
Since there was no point in even thinking about it, I decided to grab my wallet and go shopping as is. As if interrupting my activities, my smartphone rings. It's a phone call.
I even put on my coat. I had no choice. I took it out of my pocket and saw Yamamoto's name on the screen.
I was shocked. It wasn't that I had done anything wrong, but I was afraid of what she might say. I had a feeling that she might say something sarcastic, but it would be a little strange to ignore her at this point. I decided to go out quietly.
"Hello?"
I sat down on the couch at the same time, so the sound of skin rubbing against skin echoed loudly. I felt as if her voice was drowned out by it. After a few seconds of waiting and no response, I decided to ask her a question.
"Yamamoto-san?"
|| "Oh, um, I-I can hear you."
Could it be that she really said something? But there is no way she would say something strange at the very beginning of her speech, so she would probably just say "Hello". At any rate, even with that out of the way, I could tell that she seemed uncomfortable.
"Do you have a headache or something? Are you okay?"
|| "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little tired."
"Well, you were really drunk."
That said, it was great to avoid a hangover. If that happens, at least the morning is lost. It is not unusual to waste a whole day because of it. Oh, I remember Miya-san said she gave her some medicine.
"Still at Miya-san's house?"
|| "Yes. I'm waiting for my clothes to dry."
"Wow. She's surprisingly kind."
|| "Yes, she is."
She happily tells me, "She made me breakfast, too." It seems that Miya-san's kindness has sunk deep into her heart. Not only did she take care of me, but she was very kind to me.
It's hard to believe that she's not the same person who was being sarcastic to me. I was tempted to ask her if she was a different person. But it makes me a little happy to think that she cares about her that much.
|| "......Oh, um..."
"Hmm?"
|| "I'm sorry for the trouble I caused you yesterday......."
When someone changes his or her mind like that, even I get nervous. She didn't do anything serious, and she didn't do anything wrong. Or should I say, "It doesn't matter." but if I tell this to her, she will definitely be disillusioned.
"It's okay, it's okay. It sounds like you've been under a lot of stress. I think it's okay to have a day like that."
|| "Yeah, I guess so."
"But you have to choose the right person. It's definitely not okay to be like that in front of a strange man."
|| "......Kanako said the same thing to me."
That's right. I talked to Miya-san again yesterday, and she and I agreed on the matter.
If I don't nail her now, she's going back to the entertainment industry from now on. It's no wonder there are people who are like scum.
|| "I was wondering if Araki-san would be...... okay."
"Oh, oh ......."
I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, but it's very complicated. Besides, I wonder what kind of meaning is put into that okay.
Does it mean that they won't do anything to me anyway? Or - does it mean that I'll be fine even if I get attacked?
Ah, yesterday's incident comes to my mind. I can't stop thinking about what she said to me when she was drunk. Just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster. I'm sure she doesn't remember that.
It's kind of sad. I'm the only one who's thrilled, and she doesn't even know. Even at this very moment when I'm pretending to be calm, I'm probably nervous in a different way.
|| "And anyway! I want to apologize for yesterday."
"Apologize?"
I'm used to taking care of drunken people. Besides, I just took her to Miya-san's house, I didn't do anything.
I thought about telling her that, but she was the one who opened her mouth first.
|| "I've caused you a lot of trouble. So I want to treat you to dinner."
"That's so nice. I haven't done anything as bad as Miya-san."
When I said that, she fell silent for a bit. I wanted her to say something, but perhaps this situation. By the time I realized that my comment was insensitive, it was too late.
|| "......Idiot."
"Oh, no, that...... joke, joke."
|| "Whatever. I'm done."
Could this be an invitation to go on a date? ......No, that's too much to think about. There's no way she would act so rashly as she would be returning to idol work.
......Well, she's the one who told a lie to a weekly magazine. I trust she won't do that in the future.
But me, I knew better. That I draw the line at a relationship with her by believing that myself. So accepting this invitation--wrong.
"I said I'm sorry....... I will accept."
|| "......That's enough."
"I wish I could go out to dinner with Yamamoto-san."
|| "It's not fair to play second fiddle."
"Then, why don't we go?"
|| "Really.........."
"Sure. I'd love to hear all about it."
Even though she is a 27-year-old woman, she still has a childish side to her. It becomes more noticeable when she drinks, but judging by the way she sulks, maybe it's just her roots.
See, they say that when you get drunk, your true human nature comes out.
"Can we do it tonight?"
|| "Yeah. That was the plan."
"Okay. Is the place...... a pub?"
I just wanted to ridicule and tease her. I said that just to make fun of her for drinking again after all that. That's all.
|| "Idiot! I don't care any more!"
"Hahaha. I'm just kidding, Yamamoto-san!"
The only sound coming from my ear is the mechanical sound of the phone being "disconnected." A regular "dudu" sound was all that was heard.
Yeah. It seems the phone was hung up. Even an elementary school student could understand. It was the time when we still used a landline phone. I suddenly remembered the tension of calling my friend's house. Why am I thinking about that now?
"I've done it......."
Anyway, I should apologize. It seems I went too far. I didn't mean to offend her, so I should be honest here.
If you make a mistake in pulling back, bullying will turn into bullying. The recent news shows this clearly. If you feel bad, apologize immediately.
Yeah, I'll do that. Let's call her back anyway. Hopefully my regular girlfriend will pick up.
Ah, I'm so nervous. I felt nervous as if I was calling my friend's house.
When she answered, she was very blunt. I slowly and quietly coaxed her, "Don't get so mad at me. Because then I can't talk a lot with you."
I realized that I was no longer hungry.