Chapter 25: The Fate Can Change
TL: Akabane
TL: The best chapter so far ~
***
We watched an action movie, enjoyed bowling, wandered around the shopping mall, and ate cake - and then we went to the train station.
By the time we reached the station after reenacting such a first date, it was past 10:00 p.m.
At the time, I thought my schedule was too packed for a first date. ......I don't know how she went out with me all the way through this without getting affectionate.
"That was exhausting......."
"It's tough indeed......."
With the same tension as an office worker at the end of overtime, Yuzu and I left the station.
Unlike worker, mine is for fun. It's fun to date (recreate) with a girl I like, but just because it's fun doesn't mean I'm not tired.
I am happy to be able to spend time with Yuzu.
However, the more I bite into my happiness, the harder it will be later on.
The thought of spending the rest of my life feeling the frustration of not being able to confess my love for her, even though I love her, makes me mentally tough.
Anyway.
I'll get to my love life later. First, I have to make an important confirmation.
"So, we've finished recreating our first date, did you enjoy it?"
We had been together for 14 hours straight, from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.
The date was just a memory, and the actual date was just too much work. It's not surprising to hear such comments.
As if to drown out my worries, Yuzu smiled at me with a satisfied smile.
Her smile makes my heart swell with love.
"It was fun! Very much so! Otherwise, I would have left halfway through."
"I'm glad to hear that, I'd have left on the way home."
"Yeah, let's go home. ......Where are we going?"
"To the cab stand."
"I don't want to. No, a cab wouldn't be very date-like."
"No, a date ends with a piece of cake."
"The date ended with going home. You took me home on our first date."
"......I don't have a choice. I'll make sure I recreate the whole thing."
"You're going to hold my hand just like you did on our first date, right?"
"I know, I know."
Yuzu and I held hands and walked down the quiet night street.
It was a quiet night that day too. Yuzu was probably too tired to talk, and I was too preoccupied with the kiss to speak.
I thought about kissing her many times during the date, but I couldn't muster up the courage.
But in the end, we succeeded in kissing for the first time on our first date.
When I was about to leave her in front of her apartment, she squeezed my hand and looked at me with lonely eyes, so I hugged her and kissed her.
The feeling from that moment is still on my lips.
"......"
And I'm now thinking the exact same thing I was thinking on our first date.
--I want to kiss Yuzu.
But I can't.
I can't do it.
Unlike back then, we are not lovers.
We've become friends again, having sworn to keep our friendship between men and women and not to cross the boundaries of friendship.
Even if we are on good terms now, if we start dating, our relationship may turn sour like the last time. In order to avoid repeating the same mistake again and to avoid breaking up ...... fights, I should not tell her how I feel.
I know this in my head, but my heart doesn't understand.
If we stay together, our love for each other will only grow. If I continue to hold hands with Yuzu and stay close to her, she might actually confess her feelings for me.
Then there is only one thing to do.
I stopped in front of a traffic light.
"What's wrong?"
"I think I'll take a cab home."
"But we came all the way here?"
*Yuzu must be tired after walking all day."
"It's more tiring to go back to the station."
"I'll call a cab here."
"I'm fine with it. ......But if you're tired, that's fine."
"No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to walk home."
"Why?"
"Well, I had to make a ...... stop."
"At this time of night? You're going to rent an anime? I'll go with you if you want."
"I'm not going to the rental place."
"Where are you going then?"
"I'm going to......."
I can't say that I'm going to confess my love for Yuzu when I'm around her, because I can't stand it.
If I say such a thing, it's as good as confessing. It would destroy our friendship.
As I remained silent, Yuzu gave me a sad look.
"Are you not having fun with me......?"
"Of course not! I spend time with you every day because I enjoy it!"
"Then why are you trying to keep me away from you?"
Yuzu is about to cry as she suddenly feels like she's about to be distanced from me.
If I tells Yuzu the truth, I'll annoy her, and if I lies, I'll make Yuzu feel sad. No matter how it turns out, I'm going to hurt Yuzu.
What the hell should I do? How can I make Yuzu smile?
Yuzu was at a loss for an answer, and the awkwardness began to set in, and that's when Yuzu opened her mouth to speak.
"Anyway, I'm going to stay close to Kohei..."
"Shush! Quiet!"
"What? I'm not talking that loud!"
I silence Yuzu and listen carefully.
In the ...... distance, the sirens of police cars are sounding. The sirens are slowly getting louder and louder.
I pulled Yuzu's hand.
"Let's hurry and change the place."
"Why?"
"I've been using my imagination."
"Imagination......?"
"Look, do you hear the sirens? Maybe they are tracking a biker car. Maybe the biker will pass this way. Then you might get hit again. Right?"
"You're being too cautious."
"I'm being overly cautious. If I had been more careful, Yuzu wouldn't have been hit."
Yuzu's eyes widened at my words.
Slowly, joy spread across her face.
"......I knew it."
The sound of her happy voice and her tight hug were almost simultaneous.
"Hey, Yuzu! What are you doing?"
"I knew you were protecting me!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the day we got divorced! You said you pushed me out of the way because I was in your way, but you were really trying to save me!"
"But I couldn't protect you in the end?"
"But you still tried to protect me! You said you hated me, but you risked your life to save me......."
Yuzu was on the verge of tears.
I'm sorry to interrupt her excitement, but I have to tell her the truth.
"......No, I just moved my body on the spur of the moment, and I really hated you at that time. I felt like punching myself the day I filed the marriage certificate, wondering why I married this woman. But......."
......But what?
What am I trying to say?
"But ...... what?"
Yuzu looks at me with expectant eyes.
I can't take my eyes off of her.
I shouldn't say what I'm about to say. I shouldn't have said it, but......
"......But right now, I feel like I want punching myself of the day I filed for divorce."
I couldn't stop the words.
"Does that ...... mean you like me?"
"......That's what it means. I like Yuzu. Not like I'm starting to like you, but I totally like you. We've had fights, we've been divorced, and we've been a real jerk more than once or twice, but I still like Yuzu."
That's why, I tell her.
"For both of us, today should be the last time we get involved."
"Why?"
"Because we can no longer remain friends. I see Yuzu as a woman. You don't feel safe with a man like that by your side, do you?"
"Then, would you get back together with me......?"
....................................Eh?
"Reunion? Did you just say get back together?"
"Yes, I did."
"Why are you want we're getting back together?"
"Because I know we're in love."
"We're in love?! Yuzu likes me too?!"
"I'm totally in love with you. Do you think I would date a guy I don't even like in the first place?"
"No, no, this today is a reenactment of a date!"
"It's a reenactment, but what you're doing is a date. I'm really glad that Kohei is thinking the same thing as I am. I was so depressed, thinking that I would be frustrated for the rest of my life."
Yuzuhana being Yuzuhana, she was apparently trying her best to block out her feelings of love.
"But you know, if we get back together, we might fight again."
"Even if we don't get back together, we'll still fight. But we can make up each time."
Yuzu smiles, "Besides..." she says.
"We're in the second cycle of our lives, you know? We know what problems await us in the future, and we know what will cause us to divorce. We just have to avoid them one by one. For example, Kohei, you can avoid black companies, right?"
"Of course. This time I want to live a life with more time to spare."
"That clears up one problem. The reason why our relationship has cooled off is because we've been too busy to see each other. If we spend every day together in this way, we won't have any more problems."
"If you say that, then the brawl between me and uncle is one of the reasons."
"Kohei's cheating on me is one of the reasons too."
"I'm the victim here, though."
"I know, I know. I know that my sister drugged Kohei with sleeping pills and attacked her. I thought my heart would stop when I saw the two of you naked in bed......."
"I was the one who almost had my heart stop ....... I came to the house to have an important talk, but I lost consciousness, and the next thing I knew, Yuzu was there in the shape of a demon. And your sister said something dangerous like, "I wanted to ruin my hateful sister's happiness"......"
"She ruined it beautifully. To avoid that, I hope Kohei doesn't leave alone with my sister......."
"That could come back to ruin it in a different way, right? The best way to prevent that is to try to maintain a good sisterly relationship."
"So far, so good. My sister has a foot in the door with a sissy relationship, though not as bad as Sana's."
"Then we need to find out what's causing the cracks in the sisterhood and deal with them. ......Well, there are other problems as well......."
"But we can get over it, right? Because we saved Akatsuru-sensei from a fate of death!"
"That's right. .......Now we can change the fate of divorce, can't we?"
"We can! We will overcome all difficulties and live a happy married life this time!"
Yuzu gazed at me with strong enthusiasm.
She hugged me, her cheeks flushed, her face so close I could hear her breathing...
"......Will we get back together?"
The reply is a definite yes.
But I don't even have time to put it into words.
I hugged Yuzu and kissed her on the mouth in place of a reply.
By the time I moved my lips away from hers, the sound of sirens had faded.