CH 63

I stared at Mayer, his golden eyes wavering like the swaying candlelight on the walls. I sensed that the man was considerably anxious as if he was being chased by something. Although he appeared composed on the outside, he still couldn’t prevent glimpses of his emotions from appearing. 

He could be advising me out of camaraderie as a fellow time leaper, intending to prevent me from going through the same pain as he had. However, it was also possible that he thought of me as one of those components he mentioned earlier, therefore he couldn’t afford to have me break. The mere notion made me chortle. Even when speaking of parts, some were valuable and some could be replaced anytime. I knew that to Mayer, I was a valuable part that would help in dungeon raids, but in the end, I was still just a part.

While this knowledge made me uncomfortable, my heart felt clearer now that I was sure of his thoughts. It was better than being a useless cog to be thrown away. “Don’t worry,” I replied lightly. “I’m far stronger than you think, Captain. I won’t break easily. But I feel I should ask you: you are keeping a proper line with me, right?”

Mayer blinked slowly. “Me? With you?”

“Didn’t you say you can never be sure of anything that’ll happen inside a dungeon?” I asked with a smile.

“That has nothing to do with you. I have no intention of letting you die,” he retorted. “That is why I assigned August to you, to begin with. You are—”

I cut him off. “A necessary talent to slay the demon lord. I know.” My tongue itched, but I refrained from switching the word ‘talent’ to ‘part’. Meanwhile, even though he wanted to refute what I just said, Mayer only managed to move his lips silently as if at a loss for words. “Do you remember what I said on the day I was appointed vice-captain?” I continued. “My goal is to lead the Dark Knights to victory in the battle against the demon lord.”

“Naturally.”

I stared Mayer in the eye. “I was serious. I really won’t spare the means or the methods. If I was thinking of gathering close acquaintances and taking the easy, safe way, I wouldn’t have made a special unit in the first place.” Although I was grateful that he regarded me highly, that didn’t mean I wanted to be treated like a fragile flower in a greenhouse. This was something I had to firmly go over for the sake of the future. “And I’m rear line support, to begin with. I’m used to helplessly watching expedition members die. Even if people are worn out by the deaths of others, they’ll still have their convictions in their hearts. The conviction to live on in this world, no matter how dirty and wretched it may be.”

Surprised, Mayer stared at me wide-eyed. Perhaps I was the first person to ever talk back to him like this, and the thought was somewhat pleasing. “What is your conviction, Captain?” I asked.

“To slay the demon lord.”

“Yes. So long as you have that conviction, we can still live on, worn out or not.”

“Live on… Worn out or not…” Mayer quietly echoed my words before sighing deeply. He rubbed at his face, self-mocking laughter slipping through his large hands. “I have been speaking presumptuously. It appears you are stronger in mind than I am.”

“Weak stamina doesn’t equal weak mentality. Besides, a support mage needs a winning spirit to get by. It makes me far more generous to myself than you, Captain. I think it’d be best if you learned how to be a little more lenient with yourself.”

It was obvious from his attitude that he was too strict with himself. He was trying to become an iron man by taking every burden by himself and not showing his suffering to anyone else. I thought that to himself, even he was just another part of the grand scheme, a cogwheel fueled by rage and the will to defeat the demon lord.

I wondered why Mayer hated the demon lord so much. Considering the wicked acts committed by the demon lord, yes, it was natural to feel fury. But Mayer’s obsessive hatred seemed to derive from something a little more personal. However, I couldn’t bring myself to ask that far. Maybe if I had a chance later on, I’d try. For now, feeling somewhat bitter, I silently patted Mayer’s hand as that was the most I could do for the present. The captain gazed at my hand for a long time. He simply remained still, not pushing away or taking hold of my hand.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Nova was assigned to the special unit. With this, I had August, Sevi, Julieta, and Nova. The special unit was fully assembled except for one regular member I wanted to take with us.

Nova looked just like a model student, and that happened to be exactly his nature: the diligent type, a good listener. He gave a polite greeting with a bow. “It’s an honor to have been chosen for the special unit. I look forward to working together, Vice-captain!” His big eyes shone brightly, reminding me of the time I first met him.

“Is there a seat for me?”

“…Yes? Yes. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Haha, looks like you’re from Fabian Corps. They seem to be doing well these days. As you can see, I’m from the Dark Knights.”

“That’s amazing for someone your age.”

“Aw, shucks, it’s not that amazing.”

Nova looked much younger and naïve in the present. Stuck in reminiscence, I ended up staring at him a bit too long.

“Uh… V-vice-captain?” Nova became restless, his face reddening from my fixed stare.

I blurted out an excuse. “Oh, sorry. You reminded me of someone I know.”

“It must be someone really similar to me. Maybe your younger sibling?”

“Yeah.”

Truth be told, Nova wasn’t similar at all to my half-brother Eugen, but there was no need to go on the details. I glossed over it with a nod, but once I did, Nova’s expression immediately became bright and he immediately began gushing. “No wonder! You’re really similar to my big sister too. I got a real shock when I first saw you, Vice-captain.”

He seemed unusually excited today. Was it because this was his first team assignment? “Now, now, how about we introduce ourselves? Rookie, you start.”

“Hello, I’m Nova Ferrum! I’m eighteen years old, and I specialize in shields and axes. I applied as a defender. I’m lacking in many aspects, so I hope for lots of guidance from now on!” His self-introduction was indeed becoming of a model student, lively and spirited.