CH 59

“Why do you have to think so hard? Take it easy, Han Chasoo-ssi.”

Do you want him to admit that he’s so overwhelmed that he cut himself? Or do you want him to say that he actually like to cut himself?

‘If I say that’s my preference, you will put me to a mental institution in no time.’

That’s the way Jung Yiheon’s eyes are looking at him now.

“Just tell me you’re having a hard time. You can talk about it at any time.”

His face is meek, but there’s an edge to his eyes that tells him, he has nothing to hide and will do whatever he wants.

‘Is the nightmare of a perpetual contract returning?’

He can’t believe he hadn’t brought up the subject of contracts for so long.

He sighed deeply, and Baek-dam gently stroked the back of his hand. It was a comforting gesture, but it didn’t help much.

Because this guy is just like him.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical wound or a mental wound, if it bleeds, we all clean it and put medicine on it, right? Trauma is the same, trust me, Han Cha-soo.”

Baek-dam insists that he knows because he’s been there, and he’ll cure him.

‘Is it okay to compare it to cutting off a person’s limbs and carotid artery with medicine….’

This was the same character who tortured Han Cha-soo in the original to ease his grief over the loss of his brother. Han Cha-soo shook his head and pulled his hand away. It was only for a moment, but Baek-dam’s face turned pale.

“No matter how bad the wound is, I don’t want that kind of treatment.”

Or, more accurately, he didn’t want to expend energy on it. He had enough time to hold him all day, and he didn’t need to waste it on criminals.

But he couldn’t say it outright, so he used common sense and refused. Then Baek-dam spoke up in a cold voice.

“Han Cha-soo, are you doing this on purpose?”

“What?”

“Do you know what’s going to make a difference if you bleed as if you’re asking me to look at you and say you don’t need anything? Do you think everything will be okay if you close your eyes, just as you pretend not to know when you see the wound festering, and that such a wound did not exist from the beginning?”

“…….”

Han Cha-soo reflexively opened his mouth to ask why he was so upset. His instincts warned him. If he asked why, he’d end up looking bad.

After a moment of thought, he slowly opened his mouth.

“…I’m not denying that I’m sick.”

“Really?”

“I just don’t believe that I can get better by hurting other people.”

Part of him wanted to tell him to go fuck herself, that he was fine, that he was traumatized, but he knew that would only deepen the misunderstanding.

He could tell them a thousand times that he was fine, but to their ears it would sound like the desperate excuses of a sick person.

‘I don’t even know where to start.’

As far as being considered a benefactor, it was still within the realm of possibility. It was a selfish act that ended up saving someone’s life.

But he’s never been misunderstood in this way before.

‘I’ve never had this kind of concern in my old world.’

His world was even more environmentally challenging than this one. Limited resources and constant competition. Envy and jealousy, packaged in the name of expectation, were at his throat every day, but he never let up.

He never thought he would be treated so weakly….

Han Cha-soo was overwhelmed with emotion.

“You still haven’t recovered your senses, Han Cha-soo.”

Though not for long.

“But I do know this: the problem was that you said such a weak thing. That’s why your guild leader makes such a fuss to put this on me.”

Baek-dam picked up the cotton cloth lying haphazardly on the bed and hurled it towards the window. He lamented for a moment as he watched the bundle of fabric fly away as fast as a stone.

“The guild leader put it on… Could it be that it belonged to the guild leader?”

Han Cha-soo was surprised to see that the cotton cloth was not Baek-dam’s taste, but Jung Yiheon’s. He didn’t even use it, but rather put it on others.

‘And that’s because of me?’

What a confusing situation. His gaze flickered between Jung Yiheon and Baek-dam.

“Han Cha-soo, wait a minute.”

Jung Yiheon called out to him in frustration. But Han Cha-soo was one step ahead of him.

“Oh, no. I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to explain.”

He’d just blurted it out in surprise. He didn’t want to know any of the complicated details.

“I’m sorry, Guild Leader. I was rude, please just pretend you didn’t hear me. Before that, I heard Ki Taeyeon’s voice….”

It was at that moment that his shoulder was grabbed.

“I feel like I’ve been misunderstood in a very dirty way.”

Baek-dam glared at him through gritted teeth. A stray strand of flaxen hair brushed Han Cha-soo’s cheek.

“Don’t you think it’s creepy because Jung Yiheon saw you as more fragile than a newborn child?”

“What?”

“Since you were with me and got in trouble, I was forced to write it because he said it was obvious that you would faint when you saw my face.”

In fact, it was kind of a bet.

A bet on whether Han Cha-soo’s trauma was really triggered by Baek-dam himself.

So he deliberately prepared a translucent veil. If Han Cha-soo doesn’t faint when he sees the face behind the veil, he passes step one.

The next step was the bare face without the veil, and if Han Cha-soo was fine after seeing it, Jung Yiheon decided not to stop Baek-dam anymore.

Of course, the bet ended in Baek-dam’s favour. That’s why he can now confidently ask Han Cha-soo to be his torturer.

Baekdam smiled softly and whispered to him.

“Isn’t it ridiculous? Look, you’re making eye contact with me like this and you don’t even care. Your subconscious knows I saved your life.”

“…….”

“Well, anyway, you said no to counselling, so I guess the only answer is the training system, which will start this week, so I’m waiting for you.”

“Haven’t you been listening to me all this time, I don’t need the torture.”

Han Cha-soo said with a frown, and Baek-dam let out a meaningful laugh.

“You won’t regret it, will you?”

“Of course….”

“That’s the only way you’re going to do it, if you’re going to use your bare hands to choke Tae-yeon Ki.”

Han Cha-soo’s eyes widened. Baek-dam looked into his grey pupils and said,

“The head of the development department told me that you were caught by the head while trying to negotiate with him.”

Han Cha-soo sighed.

‘When he said there was a way to help me, he meant the training system.’

He remembers talking to Ki Tae-yeon about contact therapy when the head of development interrupted. He was frozen in his tracks on the topic of contact therapy….

“So you’re telling me that I can use that to do bare-knuckle training against Ki Tae-yeon.”

As he slowly spoke, his grey eyes gradually filled with strength. It was because he had found a breakthrough in his despair.

‘Yeah, whatever. It’ll work itself out over time.’

According to Baek-dam, it seemed that the participants’ abilities could be adjusted within the training system. If so, he doesn’t have to worry that the fist he threw at Ki Tae-yeon will be smashed alone.

On one level, this was very appealing to him, because he wanted to change the way he did contact therapy with Ki Tae-yeon.

There was just one catch.

“I’d love to, but I don’t know if he’ll let me.”

He was in the position of being treated. If Ki Tae-yeon said that he couldn’t deliver the energy in that way, there was nothing he could do.

So even in the rooftop garden, he couldn’t ask him outright, and had to turn the question around.

“I don’t know if the treatment will go smoothly that way… and I don’t know if the head of the development office will allow me to use the system.”

He should have pulled his hair out at that point.

Baek-dam snorted at Han Cha-soo’s concern.

“I wouldn’t have come running to you without making sure of that. I’ve already talked to Ki Tae-yeon and the development office.”

As soon as he got a favourable response to the training system, Baek-dam’s spirits quickly rose.

‘I can’t believe I’m doing this.’

He was a little puzzled to see Baek-dam, not Jung Yiheon, doing this.

“No matter how much I think about it, Han Cha-soo, your mind seems to be wired to think about nothing but useless things. Is that why you can’t survive in this harsh world by yourself?”

Was he helping him just because he wanted to make a personal attack?

Han Cha-soo frowned, and Baek-dam flopped down on the bed. Long strands of hair, like tarnished gold thread, spilled over the sheets.

“So, Han Cha-soo.”

Han Cha-soo quickly turned to Jung Yiheon for help, but he was already a step too late.

“Have you thought about being the second oldest in my family?”

A scarier prospect than a life contract hit him: adoption.