Volume 8 - CH 19

Tanikawa Sakuya: Consultant

“Oi, Hideyori.”

“What’s wrong, Sakuya?”

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During the lunch break of the day I made contact with Mishima Haruka.

When I was absent-mindedly minding my own business after I messaged Mishima on RINE to schedule a meeting, Sakuya called out to me.

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“Hideyori, you don’t look well lately. I’m open for consultation, you know.”

“You? Can Sakuya really give me good advice though?”

“Don’t make fun of me. You will be in safe hands, think of it as boarding the Titanic.”

“That ship sank though.”

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I couldn’t help but smile at Sakuya.

She really is a funny girl.

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“It did? Then think of it as boarding the Normanton. Hmph!” (TLN: British ship ran aground in Japan, the captain gave all lifeboats to European, leaving Asian passengers (Indian, Chinese, Japanese) to die)

“I mean, I don’t really feel like it………and the Normanton sank too you know…..”

“You are being difficult.”

“Eh? It’s my fault!?”

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Sakuya muttered in an annoyed tone.

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“Cheer up, Hideyori.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m cheered up.”

“You are just saying it right?”

“Even if you say that……..how do you cheer up in the first place?”

“Hey Siri [Tell me how to cheer someone up].”

“You’re relying on a machine now!?”

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I mentally face palmed when Sakuya suddenly pulled out her smartphone.

I haven’t really got that many chances to use this kind of machine assistant though…….

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[[You should look up some F*p Materials.]]

“…………..”

“…………..”

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An awkward silence wrapped around Sakuya and me.

I also felt the gazes of the boys in our class on us but I pretended not to notice.

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“Shall we?”

“Stop that! We’re at school alright!?”

“So it’s fine if we’re not at school?”

“Well…,”

“It’s fine!?”

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Of course, you should do that at your own house.

It’s definitely not something you should do at school.

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“Hey Siri [Tell me how to recover from an awkward moment].”

[[A gentle kiss will do the trick.]]

“………there’s no other way huh.”

“There is!! And what’s up with your Siri!?”

“That sounds like something is wrong with my butt so can you not?” (TLN: Shiri in Japanese means Butt.)

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Why can’t I ever get a normal answer from this girl?

Also, why do all her answers sound like what a middle school boy would say?

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“You can’t be relying on a machine for something like this right?”

“That’s strange….., Master just bought it for me the other day too…….”

“How about you return this thing since Siri is acting weird then?”

“Hey Siri [Siri is acting weird].”

[[Please apply medicine to the sore spots.]]

“I don’t have hemorrhoids though…….”

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So a smartphone can never present you with anything that you’re actually looking for huh?

I can’t help but think that.

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“Can’t be helped. Let’s try Hideyor’s phone.”

“Might as well huh. Hey Siri [Tell me how to cheer up].”

[[Please try looking at something that arouses you.]]

“………..”

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Both the boys and girls of my class are coldly staring at me.

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.

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“Ah, Oi!”

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Suddenly, Sakuya snatched my phone away from me.

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“Hey Siri [What is that arousing something?].”

[[A woman’s armpit.]]

“You, seriously stop that!”

“Hey Siri [Tell me how to make an armpit arousing].”

[[Please try inserting the hand into the gap.]]

“STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.”

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I snatched my phone back from Sakuya.

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But it’s already too late.

I can hear people whispering around me.

Is Siri only capable of giving some dubious answers? Let’s try it out….…

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“Hey Siri [How do you stop people from whispering about you?].”

[[Let’s murder them.]]

“Aren’t you bloodthirsty!?”

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I’m wasting my lunch break playing with Sakuya and Siri.

Damn it, smartphones really are scary…..

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“What the heck are you doing!? It’s embarrassing! You’re troubling Master you know!”

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Yurika rushed toward Sakuya with her face blushing.

In return, Sakuya replied with a slightly annoyed look.

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“Yurika is way more annoying than me.”

“What!?”

“Hey Siri [How do you get rid of Yurika?]”

[[Let’s try feeling her breasts.]]

“Br….easts!?”

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Yurika’s face turned even redder as she looked behind her.

Seeing her reaction, the boys in our class including Yamamoto started staring at her.

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“N, NOOOOOOOO!”

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And poof, she’s gone.

Even though she’s quite high-spec, Yurika is rather weak……

To think that she just got instantly defeated again.

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“It’s mine and Siri’s victory.”

[[It’s the power of friendship.]]

“Whatever…….”

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In the end, Sakuya raised her phone up to the air and announced her victory.

TLN: This Siri is too dangerous to be left alive…….