Volume 9 - CH 10

Sasaki Emi is Half Asleep

“O~i, Wake up, Emi!”

“I’m awake…..”

“You don’t look awake to me though!?”

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Her drowsy eyes were just like mine when I stayed up late at night.

With no sign to leave my bed, Emi continues sleeping.

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Guess I should rely on the internet for a time like this huh.

Let’s g***le [How to wake someone up].

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“Let’s see, dump cold water on them……place an alarm clock near their ear……Nope, too crude……”

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Rather, if I pull those kinds of things on her, Emi will be pissed at me later.

The original Hideyori would do it without hesitation though……

After scanning several more results, I found a way to wake her up peacefully.

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“Tell a surprising story huh……this definitely is going to turn into a stand-up comedy but I guess there’s no other way huh……..”

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Not only do I have to make something up, but I also have to make it surprising as well…….

Sounds difficult……

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“EMI!? LOOK, I WON 100 MILLION YEN! I JUST WON 100 MILLION IN THE LOTTERY!?”

“………do be careful around your relatives.”

“Y, Yeah…….”

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Rather than the shock of winning a hundred million yen, she seems to be more concerned about me getting calls from some unknown relatives……….

It felt like I was the one who got cold water dumped on me instead.

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“LOOK, EMI!? A UFO!? THERE’S A FLYING UFO THERE! THAT GRAY UFO IS GOING TO CRASH INTO YOUR HOUSE!?”

“……….can you stop about a brown UFO?”

“Ugh, this is no good too huh……rather, why’s yours brown!?”

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It’s like she’s just being sarcastic at this point.

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She’s already wrapped herself in my blanket and dozed off again.

Since we have to wake up early on weekdays, it seems she’s the type that often sleeps in on her day off.

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Ugh, Emi won’t wake up no matter what I try……

In the past, I would just give up here.

But Emi doesn’t know about the powerful knowledge I’ve gained from my smartphone lesson with Sakuya.

That’s right, my trump card, SIRI.

The all-knowing Siri would be able to handle this!

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“Hey, Siri [How do you wake up a sleeping woman].”

[[Let’s try threaten to kiss her if she doesn’t wake up]]

“That’s it!”

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As expected of Siri!

She knows what a woman would hate!

Any girl would be disgusted with that kind of threat.

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“Emi-chan!? If you don’t wake up I will kiss you, okay? My lips gonna be on you, you kno~w?”

“Who’s kissing who…….?”

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It seems that her ears and mouth are still functioning.

Only her eyes are peacefully shut though……..

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“I’m going to kiss you okay? Are you fine with this? It will feel like a punishment game you know? Uhehe, you’re so cute today Emi-ch~~an.

Kissy, kissy?”

“Bring it on!”

“What……..?”

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Emi is still half asleep.

It’s no good. It seems that even with a cutting-edge virtual assistant like Siri on my side, waking up Emi is still an impossibility……

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Should I just call Emi’s Mama?

Ahh, seriously what should I do…….?

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“Well, Hideyori. First kiss! C’mon!”

“………”

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She even dropped the -kun, it seems like some kind of strange switch just got triggered inside Emi.

She’s half asleep and she shows no sign of wanting to wake up at all…..

And for some reason, she seems pretty enthusiastic about the kiss too……..

Her reasonable self is still asleep, I see.

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“Then I will give you a quiz. If you get the answers wrong I will kiss you.”

“Yes.”

“What do you call an inedible bread?”

“Madagascar!”

“Incorrect…….which shogunate was established in 1603?”

“Madagascar!”

“Incorrect……..how do you translate Zebra to Japanese?”

“Madagascar!”

“Incorrect………what is Mada+Gascar?”

“Madoka’s car!”

“Where did that come from…….. Rather, why did you keep answering Madagascar in the first place…….?”

“Ehh? The questions were so difficult, Emi is a dumdum she can’t understand! Hideyori-kun’s so cruel!”

“Eh!?”

(TLN: Originally her answer was Window Glass(Mado Gurasu) but I changed it to fit the joke.)

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Even an elementary schooler would be able to answer all that correctly but she insisted that the questions were too difficult so she couldn’t get them right.

Poor girl……

She will probably be left with serious trauma if I kiss her in her sleep.

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“Then let’s do the opposite this time. If you answer incorrectly, I won’t kiss you.”

“Got it!”

“What’s the official name of the USSR?”

“Union of Soviet Socialist Republics!”

“Correct…..how does a doctor describe it when a Frenchman broke his arm?”

“Bonaparte!”

“Correct……In which law did Gasoline classify as category 2 class 4 hazardous material?”

“Class 1 petroleums under the Fire Service Act!”

“Correct……uhh? How did you get all of these right though?”

“Ehh? But they are all so easy, Emi gets it right away! Hideyori-kun’s so cruel!”

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I think the questions I chose were pretty tough though…….

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“Emi? Are you awake?”

“Zzz……, Zzzz…….”

“No good, she’s still half asleep.”

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Seeing Emi’s sleeping expression persist, I wonder what to do.

Seriously, how did Emi’s Mama get her to wake up every day……?

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“Hey, where’s the kiss? No kiss yet? Hurry, Hideyori”

“Hey? You’re actually awake right?”

“Nope.”

“Nope huh…….”

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If the person herself said that then who am I to argue?

Still, her voice was awfully clear wasn’t it?

I blame Siri for this situation.

Let’s launch some complaints.

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“Oi, Siri? How’re you going to take responsibility for this? You bastard.”

[[How about you be a man already then!]]

“The heck……?”

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Even Siri is taunting me.

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[[When there’s a sleeping princess, it’s a prince’s job to wake her up with a kiss right?]]

“You sure you didn’t just come up with that yourself?”

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I’m starting to feel irritated at Siri’s blunt tone.

TLN: Next up, progress…..