CH 89

She knew that as soon as she swerved her head, the other person’s gaze would be focused completely on her and not somewhere else. However, rather than feeling a storm of excitement or exuberance, she felt somewhat abashed. 

She didn’t know why she felt this way.

Groves of lush trees and seas of luxuriant verdure surrounded the hot spring. A thick layer of fog filled the air. This scenery reminded Miaomiao of a fairyland. 

She hurriedly snapped out of her trance.

She hoped that Zhou Yuan’s presence would alleviate the awkwardness of the situation, but unexpectedly, his presence made the situation even more awkward.

Jingjing couldn’t sense the awkwardness in the air at all; therefore, she kept talking to Zhou Yuan, “It’s almost like destiny. You were deskmates in elementary school, and now you’re deskmates again. How does it feel to be reunited with your elementary school friends?”

Miaomiao grabbed Jingjing and chirruped, “Jingjing. Look. Deng Feng hasn’t spoken all day.”

The sudden change in topic was deliberate, and even Jingjing, a thick-headed girl, noticed it.

Zhou Yuan, of course, also noticed it. Zhou Yuan realized that Miaomiao’s gaze kept drifting to Deng Feng, and she kept mentioning him. 

Deng Feng felt a little despondent at the time. Ever since he came out to the hot springs, he had been very unhappy, even though he was the focus of this particular discussion.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, his voice laced with indifference, “Oh.”

He only gave curt responses, for he did not want to stutter in front of his sweetheart. At least, that idea was what occupied his mind.

Jingjing froze for a moment and said, “Deng Feng, were you staying silent and trying to act cool this entire time? Come here. Sister will give you a hug. No matter how cool you are, you’ll always be your sister’s favorite stuttering brother.”

Miaomiao had already launched into a discussion about this matter, and Jingjing couldn’t feign incognizance any longer. She didn’t have any choice but to respond to this matter.

But her sentence was very perfunctory. Deng Feng peered at her with a hurt, mirthless expression; then, he shook his head. 

He exited the hot springs. Afterward, he immediately directed his attention to Miaomiao and said, “Let’s talk.”

Miaomiao hummed. She found it impossible to reject his offer for parley, for who did she grow up together with? She vowed to torment these two to death whenever she had a problem with relationships in the future.

Miaomiao came out of the warm water of the hot springs, only to meet the cold bite of the mountain air. She shivered as the gelid mountain air blew all around her, soughing through the surrounding foliage. Then, she snapped out of her stupor as she heard Zhou Yuan’s voice from behind, “I brought a bath towel. It’s clean.”

Miaomiao turned her head back and saw his eyes deeply peering at her, as if they bored into her soul. His face was expressionless.

Miaomiao shook her head, “Thank you. But you will need to use it yourself when you’re done.”

She was in good health, and she only had to endure the gelid air for a moment, so it shouldn’t be a problem for her. However, his body shouldn’t be readily exposed to the elements, for he got sick very easily. She didn’t want him to be exposed to the bite of the frigid wind. She wanted him to linger in the warmth of the hot spring.

Miaomiao then walked away with Deng Feng with urgency, unaware of the lingering gaze following her every footstep.

Zhou Yuan observed them departing side by side. Miaomiao didn’t adorn her shoes, for they were only heading to another pool.

Zhou Yuan could only watch as they journeyed away.

Jingjing leaned over to him and purposely teased him, “Zhou Yuan, there’s a problem, oh. There’s a problem, oh.”

Zhou Yuan swerved his head and looked at her, but he remained silent.

After that, Jingjing said, “Zhou Yuan. I’ll tell Miaomiao.”

Zhou Yuan looked at her seriously and replied, “Do you have any evidence?”

“Since when did we need any evidence to spread rumors?” Jingjing responded mirthfully.

Zhou Yuan: “…”

Meanwhile, Miaomiao and Deng Feng were resting in another hot spring pool.

She thought that it was her duty to offer solace to the aggrieved heart of a young boy every day, just like how everyone else had to assuage the consternation and concerns of pregnant high school girls.

The more Miaomiao pondered over it, the more she wondered if Zhou Yuan would one day do the same, where some pressing circumstances would force him to seek her out for comfort…

She imagined Zhou Yuan, who was an arrogant but steadfast individual all her life, suddenly groveling in front of her and seeking her out for solace, crying out in heartache, “Am I unworthy of her affections? Why does she never look at me? I knew her first. She is my childhood friend, and I obeyed and fulfilled every whim of hers…”

Deng Feng uttered those words in the past, and Miaomiao felt a twinge of heartache after digesting his words, “Deng Feng, you need to calm down. You haven’t done anything yet. In fact, Jingjing also didn’t do anything. You shouldn’t be upset just because she said some careless words. Why don’t you try talking to her, inform her that you’re not amused by her jokes. Tell her that you don’t like her talking about other boys.”

Miaomiao understood that the aching boy’s heart was stricken with love, which caused him to act irrationally. But the primary concern was how she believed that Deng Feng actually had a shot with Jingjing.

Deng Feng felt a flicker of sadness and replied, “Forget…forget it.”

We grew up together; therefore, we should be able to understand each others’ personalities and idiosyncrasies. Jingjing has always been frivolous and careless with her actions. She cares little for the consequences. You, Deng Feng, are the complete opposite of her, for you always overthink things. You come up with a hundred steps before you even take action…

Miaomiao heaved a sigh, “Do you remember what precept the headteacher bestowed upon us during our graduation ceremony from elementary school?”

Deng Feng shook his head. It occurred years ago; he has already forgotten about it.

“If you focus on yourself, then the world will follow you.”

Deng Feng still shook his head.

Miaomiao continued to expound on this saying, “It means that you can’t improve yourself if you remain focused on a single thing. Instead of wallowing in your sorrow like this, you should improve yourself so that you would shine in everyone’s eyes. By then, you’ll also shine in hers.”  

Miaomiao had no idea whether or not the pot of rice she cooked* was useful or not. However, she was really concerned about Deng Feng’s intermittent outbreaks of youthful grief, which stemmed from his love-stricken heart… 

It appeared as if he was listening; therefore, Miaomiao continued to delineate her thoughts further, “When you head back there, make sure to treat Jingjing like you normally would.” 

Originally, they wanted Deng Feng to drop subtle hints to Liao Jingjing, but this idea was completely worthless since Deng Feng lacked the attitude or confidence to do so…The more Miaomiao mused over it, the more she felt that Deng Feng should just focus on improving himself. That would be better for him in the long run.

After the two of them had finished their conversation and strode back, Jingjing lolled on the edge of the hot spring and peered at them. She jokingly teased, “I find that the relationship between you two to be extraordinary during this trip. We used to be a trio; however, you decided to exclude me from whatever it was you were doing…”

Miaomiao’s face twitched as she sat by the pool: “…”

She really carried a big pot**.

She also noticed that Zhou Yuan was absent from the hot spring pool, but his large, white bath towel was still lying on the edges of the pool.

“Where’s Zhou Yuan?” Miaomiao asked.

“I don’t know, but he looks unhappy,” Jingjing lazily commented, leaning on the edge of the hot spring pool while the warm, comfortable water enveloped her.

“The hot springs are so relaxing, but sadness seems to engulf everyone one by one. In case my love life doesn’t work out in the future, I’m going to visit the hot springs every day to indulge in their warmth. I want to believe that the world still has a flicker of beauty left.”

Miaomiao: “…”

Jingjing then added, “That’s right. He told me that the bath towel was for you to use.”

Miaomiao thought about returning to bask in the warmth of the hot spring pool, but she ultimately decided against it. Instead, she picked up the bath towel and went to look for Zhou Yuan, for she felt a little uneasy about him.

She just provided some counseling for Deng Feng, and now she had to fret about something else.

Miaomiao: “…”

Zhou Yuan was easy to find. As Miaomiao swathed the bath towel around herself, she turned a corner to find Zhou Yuan alone in the pool with his eyes closed.

Since his eyes were closed, Miaomiao surmised that he should be relaxing in the hot springs’ comfortable heat, so she didn’t wish to disturb his relaxation. Instead, she luxuriated in the water on the other side of the hot spring and bathed in its comfort in silence. 

They basked on opposite sides of the pool, and Miaomiao closed her eyes, as well. The soothing heat that the hot springs exuded can allay every problem a person had, replacing their grievances with the gift of relaxation. It has been a very exhausting period for her, both physical and mentally, since a lot has happened during this short timeframe.

She was already a little overwhelmed.   

Miaomiao exhaled deeply as if to expel the unpleasant feelings within her. 

On the other side, Zhou Yuan peered open his eyes and gazed at Hua Miaomiao, who wasn’t too far away from him. 

While Miaomiao closed her eyes to revel in the hot spring’s warmth, Zhou Yuan involuntarily stared at her.

As usual, he was attracted to her. He had read a lot of books; therefore, he knew what the rapid throbbing in his chest signified.

But, for a long time, he felt that this yearning was beyond his reach, as most of the people he had met didn’t interest him. 

But now, he couldn’t help but be attracted to everything about her. At first, he was just curious about how the once timid child would turn out. Later, he discovered that the more he directed his attention towards her, the more her charm had captivated him.

She organized class events and whenever she took the mantle of class president to talk and laugh, she enchanted the entire class.

She exuded a charming atmosphere no matter what. She exuded this charm when she assisted her classmates, and she exuded the same charm when her fingers glided over the keyboard to enter all sorts of information into the computer.

At first, he theorized that this feeling was due to one of two factors. Either it was his human nature at work, which was a weakness that he couldn’t tame, or it was due to a feeling of being unneeded, of being useless, due to how his best friend blossomed into an independent woman who no longer required his guidance or succor.

He later realized that her independence from him was also equally charming in its own way.

He couldn’t tear his eyes off of her. When he slept at night, he thought of her before he closed his eyes to drift off into the world of dreams, and when he pried his eyes open in the morning, he still thought of her.

After learning that she liked the boy she grew up with, he felt some inexplicable sadness within the recesses of his heart.

He started wondering whether the situation would’ve been different if he had never left in the first place.

But such a conjecture was devoid of meaning now. At that time, he already chose the life he wanted to follow, so he disappeared to college to fulfill it.

Eventually, he broke out of his musings. At this moment, he saw Miaomiao leaning on the opposite side of the hot springs. Unexpectedly, she seemed to shrink, and then he saw her abruptly sink into the hot spring.

After witnessing this surprising yet troubling development, Zhou Yuan dove into the water and swam over to see what had happened to her.

*This Chinese proverb is the same as the English proverb ‘what’s done is done’ or ‘Let bygones be bygones’. In this situation; the rice is cooked. It cannot now be uncooked, therefore this proverb talks about how you must let things be as they cannot be changed after it has happened. Just your attitude and perception of the event can be changed.

**The meaning of “carrying a pot on one’s back”, is bearing the fault for others. It is a metaphor for suffering on behalf of others, and generally refers to being wronged.