CH 24

What is it?

I feel like people around me have been paying attention to me a lot lately.

It started before the summer vacation.

What’s going on?

They are all the people who have hurt me.

I don’t understand why they are trying to get in my good mood now.

Well, Seo is an exception.

They still don’t get it, I see?

I don’t want you to care about me.

I want them to accept me as I am.

But recently, I have been thinking about it.

Is it really only the people around me who are at fault?

Was there something wrong with me too?

I thought that I would lose my mind if I admitted it.

[You did nothing wrong.]

I had to seriously consider his existence as well.

My current state may be what most people would call a dual personality, but for some reason, I couldn’t accept it.

Isn’t a dual personality one in which another personality appears on the outside?

And yet, he is only inside me.

I don’t know because I don’t have much knowledge about such things, but I have a feeling that this is different from ordinary dual personalities.

It’s just a feeling.

The reason why I started to have such doubts is because of the incident with Mifuyu yesterday.

I told her at the time that I didn’t need a sister.

Hearing that, Mifuyu went back to her room with tears in her eyes.

While I was staring at Mifuyu’s back, I felt a prickling pain in my chest.

It was not a physical pain, but a mental pain.

I had no idea what the pain was.

[Isn’t it fine. Don’t worry about it.]

That’s what he said, but I couldn’t ignore the pain.

Why? I was at a loss to answer the question, but I instinctively felt that this was something I should not ignore.

It is not only the case with Mifuyu.

It was the same with Himari’s case and Shiraki’s case.

I pretended not to notice the pain and let it pass me by.

But this time, I could not do so.

The pain was too strong.

But even if I think about it now, I can’t find an answer.

Fortunately, I have a lot of time during the summer vacation.

That should be enough time to give an answer.

Maybe I haven’t given up yet.

Involving with people.

But at the same time, I may be afraid of it.

I am afraid that I will get hurt by getting involved with other people.

Recently, the heat has cooled down and I’ve had time to think things over calmly.

Was what I was doing really wrong?

Did the people who were involved with me really not try to understand me?

…..Stop it.

What am I thinking?

It’s not my fault, right?

I feel uncomfortable somewhere even though I think so.

No, don’t worry about it.

I’m sure I’m just imagining things.

Why were they all crying?

What were those tears for?

Whom were they crying for?

Was it a one-sided imposition?

I couldn’t get my thoughts to come together in my head.

Let’s stop.

There is still plenty of time.

I can find the answer during this summer vacation.

That way, I’ll be able to find myself.