1517 - Extra Chapter: Isis Episode ~ ~ Past ⑨ ~ ~
After being picked up by Kuromueina and becoming a member of her family…… Isis’ happy days continued.
She met and spent her days with family members who, like Kuromueina, weren’t afraid to talk to her, and her days were filled with the warmth she had always wanted.
Recently, a mysterious girl named Shalltear, a person who came from another world, joined the family, and the environment surrounding her became more and more lively.
The days she spent with her family were boisterous, but full of happiness. However…… For some reason, there were times when she suddenly felt loneliness she couldn’t quite express.
Whenever she felt this, she would fall asleep…… and dream about her other self.
“……We sure meet a lot lately.”
[……What you had said……. everything is wrong…… I’m…… really…… happy.]
It was as if she were saying that to herself. In response to those words though, the other Isis replied calmly without hesitation.
“Is that so…… Then, “why did you come here again?””
[……Eh? ……That is…… because…… you called me here.]
After her abrupt sleepiness would always come to this dream…… this conversation with her other self. Isis thought it was because her other self was calling her.
However, the other Isis, clad in a black robe, quietly shook her head.
“You’re mistaken. I haven’t called you here. You came here by your own will.”
[……What do you mean?]
“……What we’re currently in is the deepest place in our heart.”
[…………………..]
Calmly pointing to the skies, the other Isis spoke in a voice that even sounded gentle. As if guided by his movements, Isis looked up at the sky and only saw dark, thick clouds.
“You said you are happy. We are indeed happy…… but deep down, our heart is still covered by thick clouds. Not a single ray of warmth had reached us.”
[……What are…… you saying? ……I don’t understand…… I have no idea…… what you’re trying to say.]
“It was just as I told you before. You will realize the things that we’d be better off not realizing. No…… This is something you’ve realized all along. That’s why you feel lonely even when you’re with Kuromueina and the others.”
[……I don’t know! ……What are you trying to say!?]
The words of the other Isis, the dark, enclosed skies…… It brings about an irresistible sense of frustration to her mind, making Isis scream. In response to such an Isis though, the other Isis…… spoke to her in a calm, gentle voice.
“……Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to hurt you. The two of us aren’t separate entities. You and I are both Isis Remnant. Your happiness is my happiness, and what makes you sad also makes me sad.”
[……Then…… why do you……. keep on…… denying my happiness?]
“I don’t think either of us is the leading self or anything like that. Both of us are Isis Remnant. Everyone has feelings deep inside them that they don’t want to show to others…… feelings that you keep on turning your eyes away from. The reason why you keep on meeting me…… The reason why you keep on coming here is because you keep on turning away from your true feelings.”
[……My…… true feelings? ……Tell me then…… Why is it…… that even though I’m happy…… that I keep on feeling lonely? ……What is it…… that I kept on…… looking away from?]
“……If you can keep your eyes averted, you will definitely be happy. But if I had realized this, you will realize it someday. No, it seems like you’re already on the verge of realizing it…… In that case, maybe I should just tell it to you here?]
Saying this, the other Isis looks up at the dark cloud-covered sky. Her hair as white as Isis’ hair spilled out from between the gaps in her robe, swaying along the occasional breeze.
“……This is happiness, isn’t it? We have a family, we all laugh together…… Thanks to what Kuromueina has taught us, we’ve been able to suppress the magic power of death, even if only to a certain extent.”
[……Unnn…… With Kuromueina…… With everyone…… Surrounded by family…… I am……]
“However, “Zwei was afraid of us at first”.”
[ ! ? ]
With those words, the black snow that continued to fall around them seemed to gain momentum. Feeling as if her heart was rapidly cooling down, Isis’ eyes opened wide and she looked at her other self.
Indeed, it was just as the other Isis said, the Zwei created by Kuromueina had been terribly afraid of Isis when she was just created. Let alone talk to her, she didn’t even try to approach her.
However, that was in the past. Now, Zwei talks to Isis just as she does to the others and adores her as a family member.
[……That is…… But…… now!]
“Unnn. It’s alright now…… “because she had learned how to clad herself in magic power enough to resist our magic power of death”.”
[……Eh? ……Ahh.]
“……In the end, that’s all there is to it.”
Astonished, Isis stiffened. It’s as if the place where she now stands is crumbling beneath her feet, feeling helpless. Yes, she had realized it, what exactly her other self said that she was better off not noticing……
“Kuromueina held out her hand to us. However, that’s only because Kuromueina is “stronger than us”. Lillywood and the others call us their family. However, that’s only because “Lillywood and the others are capable of resisting our magic power of death”.”
[……Ah…… Ahhhhh……]
“Without the power to resist our magic power of death, Kuromueina wouldn’t have reached out to us. Lillywood and the others wouldn’t have called us their family. Yes, not one of them…… “would have ever accepted us”.”
[……You’re…… You’re wrong…… Stop……]
“In the future, Kuromueina and the others will be accepted by those without power. However, they won’t accept us…… There is no one who will unconditionally accept us. Thus, there will never come a time when their warmth would reach the depths of our heart.”
[Stop!]
Isis’ voice sounded like she was about to cry. The words of the other Isis violently shook the true wish that had remained dormant in the depths of her heart.
What Isis really seeks is unconditional warmth…… just like the one given from a parent to a child, happiness that seemed to envelop her body.
However, such a thought kept on following Isis, she kept on thinking about the future. No matter how well she meets someone she gets along with, the thought that “if they don’t have the power to resist her magic power of death, they wouldn’t have accepted her” won’t go away from her mind.
“……Why don’t we just compromise? There’s no one who will unconditionally accept us. So, why don’t we be content with what we have? If you can keep looking away, you’d better off just keeping your gaze away. Otherwise, we will continue to suffer for a long time to come.”
The other Isis told her in a gentle voice. As the other Isis herself said, it’s not that she wanted to make Isis unhappy.
That’s why she proposed this. Keep on turning her gaze away from her true wish and give up……
[……It might just be…… that we haven’t…… met yet.]
“……You’ll never meet such a person. Ever.”
[…… That’s not true…… I’m sure …… I’m sure…… They must be out there.]
“…… I understood it. I am also you after all. That’s why, I knew you wouldn’t give up. However, I don’t think we’ll ever find someone like that.”
No further words were exchanged between the girls. Only the black snow that continued to fall increased in amount, freezing the depths of their heart.
The other Isis was right. But even if that’s so, Isis could not give up. She couldn’t give up on it…… on what she wanted the most…… beings who would unconditionally accept her everything, beings who would take her hand even if they held no power to resist the magic power of death.
“……I’m sorry. If I could disappear, you would be saved, but please forgive this me who was unable to do anything.”
Isis is already awake. The murmur of the other Isis…… “The murmur of the Great Evil God, the origin of her magic power of death” never reached her ears.
<Afterword>
? ? ? : [Ahh, incidentally, please check out “Extra Chapter: Visitor’s Beginnings”, when Alice-chan and Isis-san met. You can see there the transcendentally cool Alice-chan.]
Serious-senpai : [Isn’t it an arc about a certain someone that isn’t just not inferior, but was even more twisted than Isis?]
? ? ? : [……No comment.]