CH 54

Perhaps it would be futile to try to shake it off.

I don’t know when or where I started feeling that way. Nevertheless, as a retaliation for her staring at me, I stared back at her, and that was the result.

It was not love at first sight, but love at hundredth sight.

For a while, I didn’t move. I accepted her gaze and organized my thoughts.

Even now that I have admitted it, I cannot come to a conclusion right away. I felt that acting on emotions alone would lead to failure. Of course, there would be no problem proposing to her while still in the heat of the moment.

The marriage between Lady Lorraine of the Baron family and me would be reasonable in anyone’s eyes.

Still, I want to observe the situation a little more.

I waited until she stopped looking at me. After she left with reluctance, I returned my gaze and left the evening party slowly.

I’m tired today.

It’s better to rest and make decisions after returning home. For now, it’s impossible to approach her and change her way of thinking.

I got on the carriage and told the coachman to take me home.

◆

The next day,

A surprising report came from the servant who had been investigating Lady Lorraine’s whereabouts.

“So, is she the one who started the Support Group? Really?”

“Yes. It seems that way. It was started by one of her friends, but it was Lady Lorraine’s words that sparked it. From her statement, it can be inferred that she is someone who lacks confidence in herself.”

I couldn’t help but be confused by the report.

The impression I had of her did not match the words the servant just said. The Lady I knew was a straightforward and charming girl, yet she lacked confidence in herself.

“I see. There must be some reason for it. If that’s the case, her appearance and behavior must come from there.”

“I also see it that way. Since Jeremiah-sama asked me to investigate Lady Lorraine, I have been watching her closely. It seems that she has a low sense of self-worth, but I cannot find any significant flaws that would require her to be treated so poorly. Perhaps, you can feel that from the statement that sparked the creation of the Support Group.”

I looked at the piece of paper in my hand, swayed by the words of the servant.

There, Lady Lorraine’s words to the lady, although fragmented, were written.

As I scanned it, I sighed.

“But she’s still looking for a marriage partner, isn’t she?”

“Yes. Perhaps because she is still young, she is not proactive and rarely speaks out herself, but like most noblewomen, she seems to have the intention of marrying for the sake of her livelihood.”

“I see. I understand… Thank you. Please report to me if anything else comes up.”

“Yes. Excuse me then.”

After watching the servant leave, I sighed briefly.

Finally, I felt like I understood why she had been staring at me so much but had never spoken to him.

Upon reflection, I realized that what I could read from her gaze towards me was “admiration,” with no ulterior motives. In other words, she was just admiring me.

From the previous report, does she think that she is not worthy of me?

It was a very strange thing.

After all, she came from a good family and had a lovely appearance. If she dressed properly and showed some social skills, she shouldn’t have any trouble finding a partner, especially since she was still young.

It’s not like she lacked common sense, but her perception of herself was off.

However, it didn’t seem like she had trouble talking to men. The report stated that she talked to people who shared her hobbies and interests. Seeing that, I furrowed my eyebrows. At least, it is not that we do not have the same interests at all. No, in fact, it seems that my interests are compatible with hers.

However, she only looked at me and didn’t approach me.

“Is she only interested in my appearance?”

That couldn’t be helped. We haven’t even had a proper conversation before. We didn’t even have a chance to learn each other’s preferences. Despite that, I hurt myself with my own words. I shook my head and corrected myself.

The cause of everything lies within her heart.

If I don’t eliminate that cause, I won’t even be able to get her to look at me.

Not only that, if she thinks I’m an unattainable existence for her, suddenly approaching her would only make her wary.

I guess we have to start by getting to know each other and slowly filling in the gaps.

But how do I do that?

It might be good to borrow Tatiana’s help and be straightforward about it.

As I pondered, my interest turned to Lady Lorraine’s motives for her actions.

Why does Lady Lorraine stubbornly dress plainly and never behave extravagantly, even though she shows interest in handsome men like me but never approaches them? There must be a reason why she thinks she doesn’t deserve me.

If I knew what that reason was, there might be something I could do about it, but I felt exhausted just thinking about it.

After groaning for a while, I gave up thinking about it.

I will eventually have the opportunity to talk to her in person. It would be good to talk to her then. Although she seems to be considering marriage, she is not in a hurry, so there is no need to rush.

Today, there is a gathering of young nobles.

I had to start getting ready soon.

I stood up and called for my servant.

◆

After the meeting, my fellow party members invited me to drink with them, but I declined and headed to the evening party I had been invited to.

At that time, my colleagues teased me, saying things like “That stiff finally found a goddess” or “Has he finally been able to enjoy a secret meeting with his lover?” but I brushed it off.

And it’s not entirely off the mark.

The more I learned, the bigger her presence grew in my heart. The only issue now was how to get to know her.

I had been thinking that it would be great if Baroness Valcourt held a party and invited me, but it turned out that she had already done so.

I heard that she held a few evening parties and dinners for her daughter Lorraine at the beginning of the social season. However, it seems that she has no intention of doing anything else.

I don’t know if it’s because she’s new to the social scene and is taking care of her inexperienced daughter, or if it’s just too much trouble, or if it’s because she doesn’t have the money, or if there are other reasons, but unfortunately, I didn’t attend those evening parties or dinners.

I think I received an invitation, but at first, I just thought it was a hassle.

I never thought I would regret it so much.

Anyway, if the other party doesn’t open up, that approach won’t work. It might be better to invite her over, but the Castalde family has already held several events, and my mother has declared that she won’t be hosting anything anymore.

“…Maybe I should just approach her directly if I see her.”

I muttered to myself as I looked around the venue.

I want to talk to her, even if it means risking being cautious. My desire grows stronger with each passing moment.

My mind is made up.

But nothing will start if I don’t talk to her. So, as usual, I decided to start by looking for her honey-colored hair.