CH 31

As the days passed, it became increasingly harder to talk about the matter. Azami’s mother had said she couldn’t tell the truth in the first place, but she was flustered and felt remarkably guilty. Kujou Sakuya was… sitting in the corner, ignored by everyone again.

After Kujou Sakuya had covered for Azami’s own mistake at the party, people started saying that she had spilled the food on purpose, which made everyone criticise and ignore her. Even so, Kujou Sakuya hadn’t uttered a single explanation and stayed silent and calm.

What must the person sitting over there be feeling right now? How much pain did being ignored by everyone make her feel? How much of a grudge must the person sitting casually over there feel towards her? Azami hadn’t told the truth and instead pushed it all to Sakuya, after all. 

Her heart squeezed in pain just from imagining it. She’d definitely be very hurt if she was left in that environment; so much so that she probably wouldn’t be able to come to school. Even so… Kujou Sakuya just quietly sat there. Her emotions weren’t running high, and she didn’t scream, cry, or make any explanations…

“Kujou Sakuya did the horrible thing of purposefully dirtying Azami-sama’s dress, but she’s been coming to school tons.”

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“Yeah, yeah.”

“——uh!”

A group sitting far away from Sakuya’s seat whispered those things. The object of their conversation held the Kujou family name, so they couldn’t say it to her face; instead, they talked behind her back. Because Sakuya’s seat was too far away, she probably couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but Azami could hear them clearly.

Mblu olal vss pnyale sq vbl Iwfsw qyxkzu vs pyu yduvbkdt rwczknzu, cwv vblu yzps ldhkle vbl Iwfsw qyxkzu yde Fyjwuy. Mbyv oyp obu vblu vyzjle clbkde Fyjwuy’p cynj. Mblu ldhkle vbl cayde vbyv vbl Iwfsw qyxkzu oyp yde olal yzps flyzswp sq Fyjwuy’p qzyozlppdlpp yde clywvu. Mblu’e dsaxyzzu es xsal bsaakczl yde ekavu vbkdtp nyzxzu vs cakdt vblka srrsdldvp esod. Tsolhla, vblu vssj bwtl yehydvytl sq vbl srrsavwdkvu vblu pyo vs cwzzu Fyjwuy yde pyke yzz vblu oydvle vs pyu.

“Zsw vblal!”

“Z-Zlp! Ebyv kp kv, Ggyxk-pyxy?”

Ggyxk tsv wr qasx bla plyv, wdyczl vs pvyu pvkzz, yde pvsse kd qasdv sq vbl taswr vbyv oyp obkprlakdt. Mbl rlsrzl kd vbl taswr pvkqqldle qasx dlahswpdlpp yv Ggyxk, obs vblu olald’v vbyv qakldezu okvb, pweeldzu nyzzkdt swv vs vblx.

“Zsw olald’v lhld kdhszhle! Zsw’al yd swvpkela obs jdsop dsvbkdt; esd’v ralvlde usw jdso yduvbkdt! Gde kq usw byhl ydu nsxrzykdvp, esd’v tsppkr plnalvzu yde pyu kv vs bla qynl!”

“Gtb! R-R yx psaau.”

“Fsaau.”

Mblu eked’v wdelapvyde yv yzz. Rq vblu yrszstkple vs Ggyxk, kv nswzed’v cl blzrle. Mbkdjkdt vbyv, Ggyxk pktble yde alvwadle vs bla plyv. Mblu oswzed’v wdelapvyde bla ds xyvvla obyv xsal pbl pyke. Mblu oswzed’v yrszstkpl vs Fyjwuy yde oswze kdpvlye elprlayvlzu yrszstkpl vs Ggyxk blaplzq, dsv jdsokdt sa wdelapvydekdt obu vblu olal clkdt czyxle.

And also… she couldn’t say anything high-and-mighty like that either. Sakuya had covered for Azami’s mistakes, but Azami still didn’t say anything and hid the truth. What difference was there between her and those people badmouthing Sakuya? Or rather, wasn’t she worse since she, as the source of the issue, knew everything but stayed silent? When she thought that, Azami slowly got more down.

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～～～～～～～

A few days had passed, but the rumours about Sakuya hadn’t calmed down at all and instead became worse. In the beginning, girls from Azami’s group spread bad rumours about Sakuya. So Azami had clearly warned her own group not to do that… or that should’ve happened. Even so, the rumours showed no signs of abating and instead spread further.

There was a possibility that her faction, people from her family’s monryuu, and others she didn’t even know about were spreading the rumour. Azami had thoroughly warned them not to say or spread anything unnecessary, but what was up with the rumours spreading like wildfire?

If Azami’s side, who were made out to be the victims, had spread the rumours, then she could understand. But Azami herself had stopped them, so why were they still spreading so rapidly? It was as if someone was intentionally doing so…

But that didn’t matter now. Azami had really committed the mistake of spilling food, and Sakuya had covered for her. Even so… she casually laid all the blame on Sakuya. Sakuya had taken the blame for everything and experienced so much pain, but Azami stayed silent to protect herself.

Azami was feeling increasingly depressed. Her chest just kept hurting… She didn’t know what to do. Not a single thing like this had happened to her before. Therefore, she really didn’t know what to do. On a certain day after school, she walked to the Five Norths Association salon and entered late. Saionji Satsuki then quietly called to her.

“Sakuya-chan has something she wants to talk about. She is waiting on the balcony.”

“——huh!?”

Upon hearing those words, Azami’s shoulders jolted upwards. It was here… it was finally here.

She knew what Sakuya wanted to say even without going. She’d definitely interrogate Azami and ask why she hadn’t said the truth even after days passed. She’d been constantly frightened that the time Sakuya would summon her would come. That happened today.

That was true. If she were in Sakuya’s position, she would’ve immediately called out the other party and protested. She’d press them, saying ‘Why didn’t you tell the truth sooner?’ and ‘Why did you let people criticise me for something I didn’t even do?’.

That time had finally come. That was all. In fact, it was rather late in coming. And…

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“Oh… is that so… I see…”

Azami had finally noticed. She really wanted to be blamed from a long time ago. Her heart hadn’t felt light in this situation. It hurt. That was because Sakuya hadn’t ever blamed Azami and instead kept silent, accepting everything. Something in Azami wanted Sakuya to blame her. She wanted to be denunciated. If that happened, her sins would feel a little lighter.

So she accepted the summons. While part of her was scared to go, another part of her was relieved. She’d finally be released from her pain. She’d go over to Kujou Sakuya, who’d denounce her, blame her, and ask her why she didn’t tell the truth. Then she’d be released from the sin hiding in the depths of her heart…

How shameful… didn’t she just want to be saved in the end? Because of that, she wondered why Sakuya didn’t blame her sooner and even begrudged her for that. How much pain had Sakuya been experiencing? So much that she couldn’t even understand, probably. Even so, she had wanted to be saved so much… 

Azami, disgusted at her own shamefulness, headed to the balcony.

～～～～～～～

“Azami-chan, I’m sorry! I hadn’t thought the matter would become this big! I’m sorry for causing you trouble!”

“…huh?”

When she called out the name of the girl with beautiful black hair who was languidly looking at the sky, the girl had turned around and immediately lowered her head. She couldn’t understand what the girl – Kujou Sakuya – was saying.

She thought that Sakuya would denounce her the moment they locked eyes. She thought that Sakuya would blame her. But why was Sakuya apologising? She didn’t understand what she was saying. She was the one who had to apologise.

“Oh…”

Azami thought that first she’d listen to what the other had to say, then apologise. This situation was well out of her expectations. So, she didn’t know what to do. She just dumbfoundedly stood there.

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“And also… you didn’t look too good recently, and this morning too. Did something happen? If you’re okay with me listening, would you like to talk about it?”

“What…?”

Sakuya said that, her head lowered, as she approached Azami and clutched her hand. Sakuya looked at her with clearly concerned eyes. There wasn’t a hint of lies or pretense in them. Azami knew that Sakuya was genuinely worried for her.

Even her mother… no, her mother had instead forced her to do horrible things without caring about Azami’s own feelings. No one, not even her family, had cared about Azami’s own pain. Even so… Kujou Sakuya herself should’ve been in a bad situation, but… she was the only one who noticed that Azami was acting strange and approached her.

Not a single one of her followers had mentioned that Azami was acting strange. No one in her faction or from her family’s monryuu had noticed Azami’s worries. Or rather, they may have noticed, but pretended that they didn’t. None of them wanted to be tangled in troublesome things. Maybe it was especially because those were the worries of their superior.

But Sakuya noticed Azami’s condition and talked to her directly without fear. Why did Sakuya go that far for someone who hurt her…

“If you cannot say your worries, then I will not force you. But… it will make you feel a little better if you say you are hurt when you are hurt, or say you are sad when you are sad. So please share your pain with me, Azami-chan, even slightly. Okay?”

“Wh…y…?”

How could Sakuya say that to someone who hurt her? Even those part of her faction and monryuu pretended they didn’t know, so why…

“You and I are friends, correct? You were the one who taught me that friends ask and listen when one is worried, troubled, sad, or in pain, yes?”

“…what?”

Hearing Sakuya’s words, drips slowly… slowly… soaked Azami’s cheeks.

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“Ah… uwaaaaaaah!”

She didn’t even know why she was crying. But she clung to the girl in front of her who was smiling warmly like usual, and cried until her voice grew hoarse.

～～～～～～～

How long had it been? It felt like it had been a very long time, but also like it had been just a few seconds.

“*hic*… *hic*… *hic…”

“…”

Azami was embracing Sakuya and sobbing, and Sakuya patted her on her back and head silently until she calmed down. Sakuya’s uniform got rather soaked, but she still didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry…”

“…”

“I’m sorry! It’s all my fault! I’m so sorry!”

Azami, who’d calmed down a little, had said those words like a dam breaking out. She hadn’t thought about what her words meant, how to communicate them in a way that the other would understand, or about how it would affect their past and future relationship. She just continued incoherently spewing out words the moment she thought them.

Sakuya didn’t say anything and listened to what Azami was saying, hugged her, patted her head, rubbed her back, and lent her an ear.

“Mother told me… I had to say that it wasn’t your fault at all, but! But I have to marry into the Konoe family, so… she said I have to use things that can be used no matter what… I couldn’t tell the truth… Sakuya, you were really in pain, you were hurt, but! I was scared of saying it, so I stayed quiet!”

“It is alright, Azami-chan. You can talk about anything. If it makes you feel at ease, I will listen to you… okay?”

Her speech was fragmentary, and she kept jumping back and forth so one didn’t know what it meant. But Sakuya still didn’t forcefully question her and let Azami say what she wanted to say. She just listened to what Azami wanted to voice out.

Azami herself didn’t know what she was saying, but she still said everything she was feeling when it appeared in her head. She said the same thing multiple times, jumped back and forth, and still wanted to say something more, but Sakuya stayed silent and listened, listening to everything.

How long had she been vomiting out this long stream of words flowing in her heart? She was talking incoherently too, so she doubted that Sakuya could understand what she was saying. But that wasn’t important right now; she’d expel all the worries in her heart.

“I’m sorry… I really had to actually say it much earlier, but…”

“It is fine, that kind of thing. But… I am sorry for doing pointless things that led to you experiencing such pain, Azami-chan.”

“You’re wrong! You didn’t do anything wrong, Sakuya! I…”

Before they knew it, they had both said that it was their fault. They wouldn’t concede on that topic. They kept saying it for quite a while. Then…

“Pfft.”

“Fufu.”

“Ahaha!”

The two of them, who hadn’t let the other take responsibility, laughed. Nothing had been resolved yet, but… Azami had expelled all the worries plaguing her, and had laughed from the bottom of her heart for the first time in a while.