CH 48

Saionji Satsuki was raised extremely harshly. Everything was for her monryuu. With that groundwork, she wouldn’t even balk at sacrificing her own self…

While kids from different families spent their time acting like kids, Satsuki wasn’t allowed to act like that. She was ordered to act like a machine and not to make a single mistake. 

She didn’t really resent that or anything. She had never doubted that philosophy in the first place. She indifferently fulfilled the role she was given. She didn’t even need emotions. Rather, emotions were an obstacle. Others would be easily fooled if she smiled on the outside. Others would agree with her even if she said things she didn’t believe. That was why she could just be indifferent.

Satsuki saw the children of her generation as immature. Though they were a little older, none of them understood anything. She was always careful, flawless in everything, spoke respectfully, and grinned happily. That was all she needed. Anyone would be fooled with that.

It was all for her role…

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Others may say that Satsuki was killing herself.  But the current Satsuki wasn’t even aware of that. Those thoughts had never crossed her mind. 

In the beginning, Tokudaiji Azami was her greatest rival. Satsuki thought that she would be an obstacle, but she didn’t amount to much. She was already a failure and could no longer be considered a threat. She was far too inadequate in the first place. She was impulsive. She had a quick temper and was quick to action. She wasn’t scrupulous with her education. It soon became clear that she wasn’t a threat thanks to those faults that had appeared over time. 

But what she found most absurd was playing at friendship.

Mblal olal sdzu vos vurlp sq bwxydp: rlsrzl pbl nswze xyjl wpl sq yde rlsrzl pbl nswzed’v. Wakldep, qsa bla, olal vbspl pbl nswze wpl yde cl wple cu obld nsdhldkldv. Mbspl obs wdelapvsse yde ynjdsozletle vbyv olal lhld clvvla. Vlsrzl zkjl Msjweyfk Ggyxk, obs blze sdvs yde lhld nblakpble qsszkpb kzzwpksdp sq qakldepbkr nswzed’v cl nsdpkelale bla ldlxklp. Mbyv oyp obu pbl oypd’v y vbalyv sa kdelle yduvbkdt yv yzz.

Mbl ckttla rasczlx oyp vbl eyaj bsapl vbyv nyxl swv sq dsoblal obs pbl byed’v alplyanble, Iwfsw Fyjwuy…

Tla raksa kdqsaxyvksd bye pyke vbyv Iwfsw Fyjwuy nswzed’v cl bla akhyz, cwv vbyv oyp nsxrzlvlzu oasdt. Ebyv bye vbl rlapsd pldekdt shla vbl kdqsaxyvksd plld?

Iwfsw Fyjwuy oyp wdwpwyzzu pbyar. Fbl ynvle ykablyele dsaxyzzu, cwv pbl oypd’v ynvwyzzu ykablyele. Fbl oyp ps pbyar yp vs swvnzypp Fyvpwjk. Fbl nswze psxlobyv wdelapvyde vbyv. Rv oypd’v yp pkxrzl yp clkdt tsse yv pvweukdt. Mblal olal rascyczu svblap obs olal clvvla vbyd Fyvpwjk oyp yv pvweukdt. Rv oypd’v vbyv; Iwfsw Fyjwuy oyp yd wdjdsod qynvsa.

Kwpv zkjl Fyvpwjk, Iwfsw Fyjwuy oyp rascyczu bkekdt bla vawl plzq yde rzyukdt y aszl. Fbl oyp ekqqlaldv qasx vbl ralvvu pvwrke vbkdtp pbl dsaxyzzu pyke. Mbyv oyp y nyznwzyvle xydslwhal ps vbyv svblap oswzed’v cl sd twyae ytykdpv bla. Fbl vbld alye xwzvkrzl xshlp kd yehydnl yde vssj xlypwalp ytykdpv yzz sq vblx.

Fyvpwjk rzyddle vs wpl bla nsdqzknv okvb Msjweykfk Ggyxk vs awkd pyke tkaz. Jwv vbyv qykzle. Iwfsw Fyjwuy kdpvlye wple Fyvpwjk’p rzyd vs okd vbl vawpv sq vbspl yaswde bla yde tlv vblx wdela bla nsdvasz. Rv eked’v xyvvla obyv vbl svbla pxyzz qau eke. Gdu ycpwaekvu oswze rypp kq vbl Wkhl Lsavbp qyxkzklp, Flhld Fbkdkdt qyxkzklp, yde Wkhl Lsavbp Gppsnkyvksd rlsrzl rwpble qsa kv. Fbl oswzed’v alnlkhl eyxytl qasx vbl obkprlap sq saekdyau pvweldvp.

Mbyv oyp obu Fyvpwjk vakle vs eyxytl Iwfsw Fyjwuy’p alzyvksdpbkr okvb vbl Wkhl Lsavbp Gppsnkyvksd, cwv, kdpvlye sq y elpvasule alzyvksdpbkr, Iwfsw Fyjwuy bye pvlyekzu caswtbv vblx kd.

Msjweykfk Ggyxk oyp vbl qkapv sdl vs cl caswtbv kd. Fyvpwjk bye vbswtbv vblu oswze qyzz swv, qktbv, yde nawpb lynb svbla, cwv vbl alyz swvnsxl oyp vbl lmynv srrspkvl. Msjweykfk Ggyxk bye pkxrzu pwaaldelale yde clnsxl Iwfsw Fyjwuy’p pwcsaekdyvl.

Satsuki had next tried to make use of the incident where Kujou Sakuya hit Konoe Ibuki, but that ended in failure too. Rumours had definitely spread throughout the student body for a while. However, since Kujou Sakuya and Konoe Ibuki himself were together more, the incident served to highlight their closeness.

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With the Konoe Ibuki matter, there were those who complained about Kujou Sakuya as well as girls who admired Konoe Ibuki and thought that Kujou Sakuya was an obstacle. Within the Five Norths families, there were those envious of the Kujou family. The others saw how close they were, so they didn’t believe the violence was as bad as the rumours. Rather, there were those who thought the violence was just friends messing around.

Satsuki had, more than anything, greatly miscalculated. The rumours of Kujou Sakuya’s violence against Konoe Ibuki spread, but those rumours instead reinforced their close ties. After that incident, Kujou Sakuya became closer to the Konoe family, started becoming closer to the Takatsukasa family, and even got closer to the Konoe monryuu. She became especially close with the Oogimachisanjou family.

Why’d it turn out like this? Satsuki’s schemes should’ve been perfect. Anyone else would be cornered so badly that they couldn’t come to school. Even so, Kujou Sakuya reversed everything.

No… wrong… Kujou Sakuya used Satsuki’s schemes and managed to make them benefit her, even as she was in an adverse situation. She acted airheaded most of the time, but beneath that facade, she secretly planned everything.

This was bad… If she didn’t perform her role, trouble would happen. She had to make Kujou Sakuya fall. Yes… no matter what she had to do…

～～～～～～～

“G-G-G-Greetings, Satsuki-channn.”

“Sakuya-chan? Has something happened?”

“Huh? N-N-N-Nothing?”

“…is that so.”

That morning, Kujou Sakuya had come up to her and started a conversation like usual. That was also one of her plans. To show everyone in the class that she held sway over Tokudaiji and Saionji, she greeted them every day. However, something was clearly different today. Satsuki thought over what she could’ve been planning.

She acted like something had happened, but she  said that it was all fine. What did that mean? What was she planning? She compared the behaviour to Kujou Sakuya’s previous words, actions, and schemes, wondered what her goal was, and cautiously answered.

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“Sakuya-chan… you can talk to me anytime if something has happened, yes? I can always listen to whatever you have to say, okay? That is… something friends do, right?”

“Oh…”

Kujou Sakuya had said that before. Something like: If you’re friends, you can tell the other about your worries. In reality, that was pointless. If one’s problem could be solved by talking to others, then one could solve that problem on their own without worrying. And if one’s situation was inescapable, consulting with someone else wouldn’t solve anything.

Since nothing could be solved by talking to others, doing so was only saying an unnecessary amount of information. That was a pointless, no, horrible action. It was better to keep quiet and solve one’s own problems.

But Kujou Sakuya had said that before. She probably didn’t truly believe it. Tokudaiji Azami would probably say such things at surface level, but Kujou Sakuya was different. She would say that, butter up the other person, get their weak points out of them, and use them as she saw fit.

That was why she said the same thing as revenge. Satsuki wouldn’t do something so stupid as talk about her troubles or weaknesses. Kujou Sakuya was probably the same. She was trying to say “If you have something to say, say it” sprinkled with a little provocation and revenge. That was how it should’ve sounded, but… Kujou Sakuya looked relieved, and the tension had disappeared from her shoulders. 

“…hehe. That is true.”

“Yes. It is.”

What was transparent? Her earlier attitude and her current expression were all schemes. She wouldn’t be deceived by that.

Afterwards the conversation progressed towards inviting her for lunch. She’d have to accompany the tamed Tokudaiji Azami and her subordinates; what was Kujou Sakuya planning? She had to be vigilant; if not, she’d just be dancing in the palm of her opponent’s hand. That was why Satsuki accepted the invitation.

～～～～～～～

After they finished eating, they went to the Five Norths Association salon. She knew that the invitation to eat lunch was just a pretense. The real occasion was now; a conversation with just the both of them.

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What was she planning? What business did she have with Satsuki?

“Then… what was it you said you wanted to talk about?”

Satsuki acted calm so as not to communicate her nervousness and asked that question. Kujou Sakuya had great influence over Konoe, Takatsukasa, and Tokudaiji, as well as the factions and monryuu that obeyed them. Satsuki had no chance of directly competing with her. And even if Kujou Sakuya were to skilfully remain neutral with Konoe and Takatsukasa, Tokudaiji was a terrifying opponent with influence alone.

“I had thought that I wanted to become friends with you, Satsuki-chan. But I made a mistake.”

“Huh? What…?

Kujou Sakuya’s head was bowed down, she was on the verge of tears, and she muttered those words… Satsuki didn’t understand what they meant. She didn’t know what Kujou Sakuya was saying.

She knew that they couldn’t be friends. They were ruthlessly competing rivals. As enemies, they couldn’t ever be friends. 

But… there was a need to keep up appearances. Thoughtlessly acting as if everyone was the enemy was stupid, akin to strangling yourself. Kujou Sakuya got closer to Tokudaiji Azami because of that. While it may have been partially because she liked her, she would also be antagonising a lot of people if they were not friends. That was foolish.

If she was going to do it, she had to… act like a friend or colleague to avoid making enemies. If possible, she had to be somewhat friendly with her adversaries as well. With that, she could search for the true state of matters and extract information from them. That was what Satsuki’s “friendships” were.

“Satsuki-chan, you have called me your “friend”. We are already friends. Even so, I had assumed the presence of nonexistent walls and selfishly thought that I couldn’t be your friend. I am very sorry! You have already thought of me as your friend, but I still felt an imaginary distance and walls between us!”

“You’re wrong…”

Hearing what Kujou Sakuya said, Satsuki wanted to tear off her hair. What were friends? Distance? Walls? Obviously. She and Kujou Sakuya were enemies. She wouldn’t let her enemies see her imperfections. She would deceive everyone, deceive her enemies, so that she could use them.

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Satsuki, Kujou Sakuya, and those people she’d won over were just there to be used. “Playing at friendship” was nauseating!

“Please lift your head, Sakuya-chan…”

She asked Kujou Sakuya, whose head was lowered, to lift her head. She didn’t know what on earth she was planning. She didn’t know what was happening. She desperately tried to think, but she couldn’t find an answer.

Maybe she was trying to extract information by crying and “playing at friendship”. That was saying nothing of the fact that she may be thinking of making Satsuki her subordinate, like Tokudaiji Azami. 

That wasn’t it. Kujou Sakuya should’ve known that Satsuki didn’t respond well to those methods. Then what was her goal at that tea ceremony? She didn’t know.

“Sakuya-chan… then… let us be friends from now on? Will that not be okay?”

“Satsuki-chan…”

What should she do? What was her goal? If she didn’t know her opponent’s goal, she didn’t know how to respond appropriately. If she were to say something bad, she would’ve fallen to her opponent’s schemes. But it wasn’t like she couldn’t respond at all.

“I am sorry, Satsuki-chan. From now on… from now on I will not doubt our closeness. This time… let us be proper friends.”

“…yes.”

Was this the end? What meaning did this have? Was someone listening somewhere? Was she being recorded? But that wasn’t a problem. Her choice wasn’t wrong. She had to be flawless. This wasn’t a problem…

“Oh! Yes! Then to celebrate us becoming proper friends… let us go play together?”

“Hu… huh… let us do that.” 

Here it was! This was her goal! If the conversation went like this, of course she couldn’t refuse. Having the prior conversation to achieve that held quite the impact. She had fallen into a situation she couldn’t run away from. Speaking of that, the favoured scenario was clearly “play”. What was she planning to do? No matter how hard she thought, Satsuki didn’t know.

～～～～～～～

On the day that she promised Kujou Sakuya that she would go out and play with her… She had been thinking ever since that incident, but she couldn’t find the answer. No matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t understand Kujou Sakuya’s “playing at friendship” and inviting her out to play.

Without knowledge of the situation beforehand, she couldn’t react to everything perfectly. That was probably why she invited her to play. Was Kujou Sakuya planning to make her mess up? Maybe someone else was there? Or maybe she was planning to secretly observe her; maybe even record her. She couldn’t let her guard down; she needed to be flawless.

It was definitely a problem. But wasn’t that business as usual? Everyday, she didn’t make a single mistake and acted flawless. That was how she’d been raised. She’d always been subjected to surprise tests and tested for how she reacted towards the situations in them. This wasn’t a problem. She could act as normal.

Rather, by using this, she could turn it to her benefit. As her opponent was planning something, there would be times when said opponent would have chinks in their armour. If she endured and used it to her advantage, she’d likely have the upper hand.

“…”

She stared at the scenery going past the car window… Why did she… In the car on the way home, Satsuki felt choked for some reason, like her chest was being squeezed.