CH 51

Don’t talk to that boy.

That’s what my classmates at the time said when I asked them about him. I didn’t know why at the time, but he was disliked by most of his classmates. He was harassed by his classmates in a manner so insidious that it was hard to believe that they were still in elementary school.

[He lives a violent life, you know.]

[And I hear he does a lot of bad things.]

[It’s dangerous, so you shouldn’t talk about it.]

The only thing that came out of the mouths of my classmates were assumptions based on groundless rumors. Now I can deny and defend Hisui with all my might, but there was no way I could have known that at the time.

I was still mentally young and assumed that this was the rule of the class, so I never spoke to him. Besides, I had no topic or opportunity to talk to him in the first place. Above all, I was the most popular person in the class at that time, and I was often restrained during recess.

[Natsume chan, you’re amazing. You know English.]

[You’re great at sports, too. Yesterday you came in first in the marathon.]

[Yeah. You’re beautiful and you look like a princess !]

Regardless of gender, I was bombarded with questions about whether my facial features were different from others. Or rather, I was in a state of constant praise. At the time, I didn’t understand all the Japanese, so I was able to ignore it, but now I would have fainted.

When those days were going on, the moment finally came.

[ [ [ [……Giggle] ] ] ]

Aiming at the moment Hisui left his seat, they began to fish around in his desk. They then started hiding things, scribbling on his textbooks, and throwing his writing utensils and other things into the trash. Moreover, the people who did this and the people around them were laughing silently.

It was a scene that made no sense to me. Why are you laughing when you do something bad to someone? I mean, the teacher would have been furious if you had thrown away someone’s belongings without permission. But everyone tacitly approves of the act I just described, as if it were a matter of course.

(……)

But there was nothing I could do, having just transferred to a new school. Besides, if I messed up badly, I would be the next target.

[……]

Hisui returned to his desk and sat down without saying a word. He silently looks out the window without mentioning any of the missing items or the scribbles. I’m sure that this attitude gives his classmates a sense of comfort.

And unluckily, our homeroom teacher is still new. He himself has no time to spare and does not realize that this kind of harassment is taking place in the classroom. On the contrary, he is scolding Hisui as if to warn him.

I saw that scene just before today’s class.

[Hisui kun, how many times did this happen? How can I get Hisui kun to bring his textbook?]

The teacher stands all the way up and asks him why he doesn’t have his textbooks. . Luckily, my homeroom teacher was a calm person. If there had been any corporal punishment, it would have been a real eye-opener.

Yukihana kun should have been angry. But he said

[I’m sorry.]

He said that and remained silent. I looked around and saw that the corners of most of the students’ mouths were hanging up. I felt like I was in a crazy circus.

(…… these people are scary)

Not long after I transferred, I began to hate going to school. That scene was burned into my mind and I couldn’t get rid of it. I looked into the staff room to ask for advice, but my homeroom teacher was being disciplined almost every day by the older teachers.

The better my Japanese improved, the more clearly I could sense their malice. There were even times when I felt sick, and I would have flashbacks of Yukihana kun’s expressionless face when he was being treated badly.

But what didn’t break my heart was

(Yukihana kun goes to school every day even after what they did to him. Then I shouldn’t run away !)

In fact, I haven’t suffered any harm yet. And yet, for me to miss school, it would mean that I would have to completely abandon him, and only I would be comfortable.

After all, I wanted to help him.

But I can’t do that, and time just goes on and on. At last, the harassment was not confined to objects, but began to fall directly on Yukihana kun.

[Kuku, eat this !]

[!?]

A large amount of eraser dust was thrown on Yukihana kun’s head, and thumbtacks were placed on his chair. Yukihana kun had already detected the tacks before they were set up, but that didn’t matter.

After the harassment was over, the leader of the group put his arm around Yukihana kun and said quietly,

[Don’t come to school anymore, you society’s trash.]

They then quietly sit down in their seats. After shaking off a large amount of eraser dust, Hisui opens his torn textbook and goes to class as if nothing had happened.

Such days continued for about three years. Even when the classes were changed, the savagery of the situation did not subside. The bullying was accelerated by the fact that the homeroom teacher was the same person. I, too, spent those long days feeling nauseous.

But here, for the first time, I wondered about him.

（Why didn’t Yukihana kun ever fight back or tell them off?)

Yes, Yukihana Hisui has been inactive all these years. He hasn’t done anything. This has caused the harassment to escalate into bullying.

If you want proof, there are tons of textbooks, desks, etc. to collect. In other words, he can always go after them if he tells the teacher. I’d like to be on his side then, too.

(I need to know a little more about Yukihana kun)

I have a habit of following people who interest me. If it’s called stalking, that’s it, but at that time, I was (or rather, still am) I was 100% interested in what he was doing.

After school, I turned down my classmates’ invitations to play and quietly followed him without being noticed.

He seemed to live near the train station, and I was a little nervous to see the different scenery of his way to school from my own. I walked for a few minutes.

He walked alone into a small park.

(What is he doing?)

He was on a swing at dusk. But I soon noticed something strange.

(Yukihana kun, he’s crying.)

He’s not bawling or hitting things, but quietly and expressionlessly spilling tears. The sight was painful even for me, who still does not fully understand Japanese culture. The sunset, shining so beautifully that I hated it, illuminated his tears.

(How could it not be painful?)

He must be under a lot of stress. I’m sure he is suffering from many things at home, not to mention in the classroom. Maybe he has something else going on that I don’t know about.

When I realized this, I found myself clenching my fists in front of my chest. There was no particular meaning to this action. But for some reason, as time passed, the strength of my clenched fist gradually became stronger.

(I……)

What can I do?

What can I do as an outsider who can’t even talk properly yet?

I just see him as my old self.

Seeing the clash of malice, I lamented and cursed at my inability to do anything about it. And then I find myself in a negative spiral that leads to the worst possible end.

But I don’t have the courage to move forward. There is no point. Above all, he may reject me. Because, like them, I’m one of the classmates who was carried away by the atmosphere.

For some reason, even I was about to cry, at that time.

[What’s wrong?]

A boy was walking toward Hisui. Judging by his clothes, he was probably in middle school. Yukihana kun and I turned our attention to him at the same time.

[Boys shouldn’t cry. Here, I’ll give you this to wipe your tears.]

The middle school student then took out a pocket tissue and a small candy bar. Yukihana refused to accept it for a moment, but the middle schooler urged him.

[Oh, if you don’t like the strawberry flavor, you can give it back to me. It’s my favorite flavor, so I’ll be personally happy if you like it.]

[Ah, don’t worry…..]

Yukihana kun weakly replied as he wiped his tears.

(Come to think of it)

This may be the first time I’ve seen him speak on his own. The only time he speaks is when the teacher asks him something, and he usually ends most conversations with a “yes” or “no”.

[If it’s okay with you, I’ll listen to a lot of your stories, okay?]

And he enters his personal space with ease. If I had been able to do that, I wonder how good it would have been.

[B-but……]

[Don’t worry. You and I are strangers, right? Then there’s nothing to hesitate about. If you really don’t like it, that’s fine, but as long as you keep looking down like that, I’m sure nothing will change…..that’s what I think.]

Sometimes it’s because you are strangers that you can butt in. I’m sure that’s what he’s saying. Since they’re close in age, I have the impression that it is easier to consult with him than with a counseling teacher.

[Urm, so.]

[Yeah.]

[My sister……and I got into a fight.]

(……Hm?)

I thought he was going to tell him what was going on in class. But what came out of his mouth was an unexpected problem with his own family. I was surprised to learn that Yukihana kun had an older sister.

[My sister is in middle school, and she keeps trying to take a bath with me. I thought it was time for her to get away from her brother, so I refused to take a bath with her, but then she stopped talking to me.]

[I-I see.]

[And whenever she had a chance, she would come into my room and take my comic books and video games out of my room……the other day, she erased the save data of a game I had worked so hard to clear…….]

(W-what ????)

Somehow, the story took off in an unexpected direction. Not only me, but also the middle schooler seemed to be puzzled. I mean, at this age, they’re still taking baths together…….

[Does that have anything to do with the fact that your school bag is in tatters?]

After a little time had passed, the big brother, who apparently didn’t know how to start the conversation, said what he must have been wondering for a while. Or perhaps it was the school bag that first caught his eye.

[Yeah, this was done to me by a classmate.]

[Mhm, that sounds more serious.]

[It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what those people do to me, as long as I have my family, that’s all that matters to me. Besides, I was told by my men…..acquaintances that the malice directed at my sister is nonexistent at the moment because of the hate directed at me.]

No way.

Somehow I was convinced that his words were laced with lies. There was something strange about his expression and his words. And it seemed that the big brother in front of me was the same.

He stopped standing and quietly sat down on the swing next to Yukihana kun.

[Well, you’re standing up for what you believe in. I respect that. But.]

[But?]

[Don’t lie to yourself.]

What came out of big brother’s mouth were such words. Yukhana kun looked at him and widened his eyes, while the big brother looked straight at the sunset.

[Because no one talks about their family in such a painful voice. Before family or sister, you have your own problems, don’t you?　Then you have to solve them first. If you don’t, you won’t be able to help your sister, right?]

[B-but……]

Yukihana kun was puzzled. Well, it’s a story about how to solve the problem of that class. At least the current Yukihana kun and I, who’s hiding and eavesdropping, can’t do anything about it.

[Well then, how about this. We need to create priorities.]

[Priorities?]

Then he begins to give advice as if it were a message to Yukihana kun.

[You have to decide what you have to protect. And you must do whatever it takes to protect it. I want you to have that kind of spirit.]

[P-protect…..]

[I don’t know because I don’t have brothers and sisters, but if there’s someone really important to me, I want to be proud of myself in front of that person. So, I’m going to supplement what I need to make that happen.]

[Supplement……]

[For example, making friends. Maybe there’s someone nearby who’s worried about you.]

（!?!?)

Did he notice me? I thought so, but there was no sign that he was looking at me. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but I was a little scared so I decided to hide behind the tree for a little while longer.

[Well, it doesn’t have to be friends. It’s purely a matter of you gaining strength. It doesn’t matter if it’s in academics, sports, or anything else. You just need to have one thing that makes you feel confident. And then use that as a starting point to make up for what you lack. That’s what makes us human, right?]

[……]

[I’m sure if you can do that, you’ll be able to talk to your sister on a more equal footing. Well, from what I’ve heard, your sister loves you.]

He fell silent and listened to him. And it’s the same for me.

(What I lack. What….is it?)

And time goes by as it is. I noticed that Yukihana kun had stopped crying and was thinking seriously. He didn’t lick the candy bar he got, but clutched it tightly.

But as he does so, the big brother jumps off the swing in a panic.

[Oh no……I forgot the promise I made to Sakura ! I’m sorry, but I’m going to stoip here. Good luck with the rest ! !]

[Eh.]

[You guys will be fine !]

With these words, he ran at a high speed and disappeared somewhere. He was like a storm, but I wonder what his last words meant.

（I wonder if I can change, too.)

I don’t know. But for us, the view of the sunset in the park will be burned into our hearts for the rest of our lives.