CH 9

Sometimes I can recognize when I am dreaming.

(…… this place is)

I wondered if this place, a pure white space, full of cleanliness, was a hospital room somewhere.

As I tried to look around, I felt my body not moving as I wanted. I wondered why, but I soon found out the cause. First, my arms were bandaged. Next, my legs were also hung up, and after …… I felt as if my waist was also stiffened so that I could not move as much as possible.

It is very realistic for a dream,……, but is it really a dream? It is so real that it feels as if it is the past that I have experienced. ……Well, that’s okay. For the time being, let’s call this a dream. I said that it is inconvenient not to be able to move my body satisfactorily, no matter how much it is a dream.

(If it’s a dream, like flying. There are so many things to dream about. ……)

I really think so.

If it’s a dream, anything would be allowed. That’s what magic, other worlds, and scenes like that with Ayana …… Kohon, this is a bit creepy, dead weight dead weight.

(Ah~ …… ah test, test. Someone help me~. I’m trapped in a dream world~)

…… I tried fooling around but no change, what is it really? I don’t have the hobby of being stuck in a hospital room with no way to move. If I had such a hobby, I’d be a major sex fiend.

I can’t move, and I just noticed that I don’t seem to be speaking. This is another strange sensation. Just when I was wondering what to do, the door in front of me opened. It was Shu who entered. He was staring at me, his eyes red and swollen. The first thing he said was:

“Sorry ……I’m sorry Towa!　I was so dazed that …… you got into an accident….gusu!”

Shu was crying loudly, with his nose running, and I couldn’t understand what was going on as I watched him. However, I wondered what was happening. If I could move right now, I would feel an overwhelming urge to punch Shu in the face. I wasn’t confused by this anger, but rather I felt as though it were a natural sensation.

“Well, these things happen. Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

[……Why ……why are you crying so much? I’m the one who wants to cry!?]

Like a double voice, Towa…… it’s already me, that voice sounded.

On the surface, he was strong and gentle so as not to worry Shu, but behind the scenes, his rage took over as if he was holding a grudge.

The anger that Towa is carrying, it melts into me as if assimilating with me. Then it came to me…… how did this happen, and why am I in the hospital with an injury? It’s simple. I was in an accident,…… and I took the place of Shu, who was walking in a daze and ran out into the road to protect him.

“I was so shocked. I couldn’t move at all. This must be hard to take a dump, right?　Ugh, how embarrassing!”

[….Damn it…..DAMN IT! Why this time of year when the …… tournament is almost here……!”

Tournaments……Yes. The soccer tournament is coming up soon.

I’m working hard with my friends, practicing a lot, and everyone is rooting for me. And even my mom said she’d take time off work to come watch!　Ayana, too!　Ayana said she would come too!

The indescribable feeling of me and Towa’s mixed emotions…… was, to be honest, weird.

As I was talking with Shu like that, a doctor wearing a white coat came in. He opened his mouth, looking somewhat reluctant to say anything.

“Yukishiro-kun, let me be frank with you. Your broken limbs are one thing, but above all, your back is in bad shape. Sasaki told me that you have a soccer tournament coming up,……, but give it up.”

…… I felt a pain as if I was being stabbed through the chest.

“I see,……. Of course. I’m in such a state that It’s impossible……Ahaha.”

[……………]

My mouth moving on its own, words spewed out on its own. I don’t know why. …… Why is it so painful? It’s painful, but I can’t cry. Is this Towa’s strength, or is he unable to believe in reality to the point of not being able to cry?

The doctor leaves and Shu is left in the hospital room. The door opens and in walks Shu’s mother and Ayana.

“Towa-kun, are you alright?”

I wonder if she worried a lot. Like Shu, Ayana’s eyes were bright red. She must have cried, because there were tears streaming down her face.

“Did I worry you?”

“Ah, isn’t it obvious?　Look at Towa-kun, who has fallen down and stopped moving,…… ugh,…… ah!”

I pat Ayana’s head with my moving hand as she begins to cry.

Ayana’s crying …… made me a little happy, even though it’s inappropriate to do so.

“Shu, Ayana, will you stay out of the room?　I need to talk to him.”

Shu’s mother, Hatsune-san, opened her mouth. Shu listened to her words and headed out of the hospital room. Ayana, however, would not leave my side and would not move.

Hatsune-san looked troubled at Ayana, but immediately returned her gaze to me. Her eyes looked at me as if she was accusing me of something. I knew that Ayana’s mother, including Hatsune, did not think well of me because I had taken Ayana around in the past.

Now, what would she say? Hatsune-san began in a sharp tone of voice.

“What were you going to do if Shu or Ayana got hurt?　It’s a good thing it was you.”

“…. eh?”

“?!”

…… Honestly, I didn’t know what was said for a moment. As for Ayana, she also quickly raised her head and stared at Hatsune-san. The expression on her face was as if she was looking at something she couldn’t believe.

“You see, we don’t need you. Shu has Ayana, and Ayana has Shu. You, a foreigner, must have been punished because you came in.”

“…………..”

“Hatsune-san!　What in the world are you talking about!”

I really don’t know what this person is talking about.

I was just with them as ….friends.

“…… I see.”

“Did you say something?”

“……no.”

I see, their world is complete on its own.

The world in which Shu and Ayana and the two of them are united is the world this person desires. Hahaha ……! How laughable. In real life, it would be impossible for someone to think like this, but …… it was. This world is a game world. Then I guess it’s not surprising that there are people with such broken personalities.

Unlike me, who can look at things objectively to some extent, even though my feelings are linked to Towa’s, I wonder what Towa would have thought when he was actually told these words. Did he resent it or just give up?

Hatsune-san had finished what she wanted to say and left the hospital room, leaving Ayana and me with an air of inexpressibility.

“…I’m lost. I didn’t think she would hate me that much.”

“Towa-kun,…….”

There is no need for her to say so much. However, from their point of view, I am probably like a pest that destroys their box garden.

Only now I was thankful for the presence of Ayana, who looked at me with concern as I looked down at her. I reached out my arm to Ayana, and she gently took my hand in hers. Feeling the warmth of her hand, I made a wish to Ayana. I would never say this to Ayana, but I was sure that she would never say no to me after our long relationship.

“…… can I have a hug?　Is it okay for me to cry?”

“……..As long you are okay with me.”

Ayana then hugged my head to her chest.

It was warm and soft to the touch, and smelled good and reassuring. Ayana held me for a while and I cried as hard as I could. I cried and cried, just enough to calm down and feel embarrassed by this position.

A few minutes passed, and I tried to pull away from Ayana, but she wouldn’t let me go.

“Ayana?”

I asked her, and I heard the coldest voice I had ever heard from her.

“This is ridiculous. Why is Towa-kun being treated like this?　Why do they have to talk to you like that?”

Ayana’s words never stopped.

“Towa-kun is the one who should be in the most pain. ……I would take over for him if I could. Why are those people so …… Huh?　Are they people……?　Are they the same …… people as us?　…… Oh, that’s right. Those people are …… that thing are…”

“Ayana!”

“!　…… Towa-kun.”

Ayana was mumbling to herself, and I sensed something a little dangerous in her and called out her name strongly. Ayana looked at me as if she had come to her senses. I was sorry to leave her, but I lay down on the bed, free from Ayana’s breasts.

“….Fue. I’m tired from all the things I’ve been through. I’ll probably be free for a while from now on.

“I’ll be here every day to visit you. I will never let you feel lonely.”

“It’s certainly lonely, but I don’t feel lonely enough to have you come every day like that…”

“Then I’ll change my words. I’m the one who misses you. ……”

“……I want to see who can say no after being told that much.”

“Then…”

“I would love for you to come. I want to talk with Ayana every day.”

“Ah, ……, yes!”

Thank God. She finally smiled.

I was relieved to see Ayana’s smile, and I closed my eyes, feeling a little sleepy. Ayana was holding my hand all the way to the end when my consciousness sank.

When I woke up, I wondered if I would have forgotten about this strange experience. No, I was confident that I probably would not. But now, at last, I feel as if I am beginning to see things that I did not know. But what I didn’t know …… No, no. There must be something more I need to remember. There is something I can do now that I am Towa. I feel like that.