Volume 1 - CH 17

Volume 1, Chapter 17: Why?

House, school, part-time job. It didn't matter where I was. Wherever it may be, I wasn’t going to receive any kind of love. I knew that. That's why I had given up on everything. I should have given up, but...I hadn't been myself lately.

Why was that? Why was I losing my cool? It should just be the same as usual. Wake up in the morning, go to my part-time job, return to my house and go to bed. That was all there was in my life. Just chugging along mechanically day by day.

With this kind of life, I should have given up on everything. I had wanted to be loved by my mother, Nana, and Sayaka. But that wish didn't come true. That's why I gave up. Right, I had given up on everything. I didn't want to be loved anymore. That should be the case.

That's why I just repeated my usual routine.

"...Good morning, Manato."

As I was heading to school, Ayano was waiting for me.

"Ayano? Is there something wrong?"

Why was she waiting? Now that I had broken our bond as childhood friends, she shouldn't have to deal with me anymore.

"...Like I thought, you wouldn't call me by my name."

"Did you say something?"

Her voice was too quiet. I couldn't hear well.

"...No, it's nothing."

"I see. So, why were you waiting?"

I asked her about what I wanted to hear the most.

"...I just thought I'd go to school with Manato."

Just why. Didn't she like that senpai of hers?

"...Why is that?"

I said what I was thinking out loud...

"Because I like Manato."

"Huh?"

I didn't understand what she just said.

"Like I said, I like Manato."

"...No, what are you talking about?"

What did she really even mean by that?

"I like Manato. How about you, Manato?"

If I was asked before, the answer to that would have been that I liked her as well.

"...I don't like Ayano."

But now it was different. Those feelings of love that I had for Ayano was completely gone.

"Why?"

What did you mean why?

"Hey, why don't you like me?"

"...Huh?"

Why did she ask the reason why I didn't like her?

"Do you like that person after all?"

"That person?"

Who did she mean? Even when I racked my brains, I couldn't find the answer.

"That girl at your part-time job."

"...How did you know I was working part-time?"

Some kind of feeling sprouted inside my heart. A feeling of fear. How did she even know I had a part-time job? And about Hisai-san as well? I shouldn't have told anything to Ayano.

"That doesn't matter. So, you like that person after all."

I guess I was being misunderstood, but I didn't think anything of Hisai-san.

"I don't really have any feelings for her, though?"

I told her honestly.

"You're lying. Manato was smiling. You never smiled like that when you were with me."

Was I smiling? I couldn't remember.

"That's just a coincidence."

It was getting kind of troublesome...

"Then why did it have to be coincidentally that person? Not me?"

...

"Can I go now?"

Somehow, talking to Ayano was becoming a chore. And so, I asked her if she could let me go...

"Of course, not? We're not done yet, you know?"

"I don't have anything to talk to you anymore."

So I said as I turned my back to Ayano and started walking, but then she grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Hey, I told you not yet."

Ahh, what a pain in the ass.

"What."

I was a in a bit of a bad mood, and the voice of my voice dropped.

"D-don't get mad at me..."

Unexpectedly, Sayaka replied that.

"...I'm going."

I told her that and moved my feet again towards school.

"Manato..."

The girl behind him could only mutter so.