Chapter 269

Chapter 269

CHAPTER 269

Unlike Pastoria, Sandgem had never been built that far inland, and instead stretched along the coast. It was striking to see from up here, even if it was my second time seeing the city from the air. I asked Princess to land on one of the pads to let us wander the streets for a little bit. It was nice and warm today, even late in the afternoon, so I didn't want to waste the opportunity and wanted to leave myself time to enjoy the little things. It wasn't even something Aliyah had brought up, really, I just felt like hanging out with her and Angel while we went to buy some groceries.

She landed us on one of the pads on the city's outskirts, and I let Angel carry me around while she hovered closely above us. The streets were straight as an arrow here, unlike Pastoria's winding ones that meandered everywhere. There were, I noticed, a lot more kids out than usual. I recognized the look on those faces— people that were growing excited that the year was drawing to an end, because soon they would be able to strike out on their journey for the first time. Granted, it was still barely mid-April, but the excitement for a new Circuit started building up far before the year's end. Some would train with a starter they already had while others would look on with jealous eyes and desperately want their own. Already, people would be swarming the tips and tricks sections of the forums for new trainers, which was only something I knew because I'd been in the same position a year ago.

Yes, even when I'd been convinced I wanted nothing to do with Pokemon training, I'd been reading posts giving advice about it. So what?

"Mom said that she wanted to make a bunch of grilled meats, so we have to buy a lot," I said. I ignored Princess' groan, although Angel was intrigued by it. I'd fed him meat before, but maybe he'd just forgotten. "I'll just have you eat whatever, Princess, don't worry about it."

Funnily enough, Mom had said she'd pay me back even though she was unemployed and I had more money than she'd know what to do with, but I knew what it felt like, to have someone buy things for you, and she had some money saved up from the time she still worked. I passed by a larger crowd of kids all huddled around one of Sandgem's larger buildings. I recognized it, of course, and any Sinnohan would have seen it on TV at least once in their lives. It looked more like an enormous manor than a laboratory, with a weathered wooden façade, a surface adorned with ivy and trailing vines that somehow looked fancy instead of overgrown weeds. The wooden frames bore thin scars which was a part of that rustic charm. The roof was covered in sky-blue tiles, casting shadows that loomed across the worn cobblestone pathway leading to the entrance. There was a hint of a backyard surrounded by a nice-looking blue fence.

Professor Rowan's lab, I mused. And it looked like he was giving quite the speech, too. He was raised on a platform behind a lectern and holding a microphone. Upon closer look, some kids were here with their parents too. Most were standing, but the front rows had chairs laid about for people to sit on. The professor wasn't alone, either. Two others went back and forth behind him, whispering to each other as he gave his speech, both with the same colored blue hair and gray eyes. The twins who Barry told me about. Well, it wouldn't hurt to stop by to listen to the speech, although I doubted I'd be able to talk to them. I was well connected to the League, but the scientific community was a different matter entirely. While I was sure I could have bribed him by having him study Sweetheart, I wanted to keep her status a secret, at least for now, and she'd probably break down half of his lab or kill him by accident. My reputation was already in tatters enough, and I doubted that 'it was an accident' would help me.

"Don't touch random people," I whispered to Angel as we approached.

His vine around my good ankle drooped, but it was an agreeing droop, so I pat him on the head to praise him.

"...every year, I give a speech like this. As a Pokémon Professor, it's my lifelong passion to explore, understand, and celebrate the extraordinary diversity of life that thrives on our Planet. Pokemon are more than just creatures; they represent the bonds we share, the adventures we undertake, and the lessons we learn on our path to becoming trainers, coordinators, researchers— the possibilities are endless. Those very same bonds need to be nurtured. This is why this summer, I am giving a select few the opportunity to get their very own starter from my lab!"

Huh, that was interesting— although obviously not for me. From what I knew, Rowan only really gave starters to people well-connected to him or his lab, but now he was changing things a little bit, so I'd just witnessed an extraordinary event. Excitement gleamed through every kid's eye. No doubt, they were salivating at the thought of getting a top-of-the-line, 'well-bred' starter Pokemon. I knew better, though. Those things mattered less and less the further you progressed in your career even though they'd give you a big boost at the start, and relying on how powerful your Pokemon's parents had been was a surefire way of crashing and burning hard. I stayed for a little while, and there was a demonstration of the starters that would be given out. Piplup, Chimchar and Turtwig, so the usual three, which Dawn and Lucas released from a briefcase. What I hadn't expected, however, was for them to show their own Pokemon.

Lucas was a little shorter than Dawn, but his Torterra dwarfed any other human and was absolutely massive, especially next to her Infernape. The huge tree on his back was well-trimmed and maintained, or at least far more orderly than Harry Rodriguez's had been. Moss covered most of his shell, leaving only thin bits of brown and grey exposed. It even covered the rocky spikes on his back too. There was discomfort from Princess at the sight of a Torterra after so long, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of it too.

"Unfortunately, Barry Lane couldn't be present today, so I have no Empoleon to show you, but I assume that what we've shown has pleased you enough, looking at your faces," Professor Rowan chuckled.

Knowing Barry, he was already fighting Candice up in Snowpoint for his eighth badge. As Angel passed behind the crowd, my eyes locked with Lucas, and something in his look unsettled me. There wasn't really a reason why. He hadn't glared, or been rude or anything, so maybe I was just being paranoid. I listened until Rowan started getting into how he'd pick his three new sponsees and then decided to leave. I figured maybe I'd catch some new information about evolutions or discovery or something, since that was his domain of expertise, but this was a speech to excite new trainers, not to talk about anything else. I couldn't deny that he knew how to entertain a crowd, though. Would the trainers he gave his Pokemon to have to find him some rare Pokemon like Barry sometimes did? Maybe he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart. Rowan was a lot funnier than I would have guessed from his stern face and his relatively old age, and I felt thankful that he could draw attention like a magnet. That way, I wouldn't have to care about people gawking at me.

"Let's go get those groceries, shall we?" I declared.

—

"Watch the landing, alright?" I gently said.

Princess retorted by saying it was just meat, and she could have spun it around or landed roughly if she so wished.

"I really hope Sweetheart doesn't rebel like you're doing right now," I said. "You used to be so cute and well-behaved."

The fairy type huffed, although I had to reiterate that she was still cute because missing the beat of sadness would have been impossible. She landed in front of our home— funny that I was calling it that already— and did, in the end, carefully place the fifteen or so bags she'd been carrying. I carefully slung my foot over her after untying myself, but before I could release Angel to give me a lift, she pulled me up with Extrasensory and placed me down like a feather.

"You know I was just joking around, right?" I said.

She puffed up her feathers, and I snorted, passing a hand over her forehead.

"It's your birthday soon," I muttered.

She'd be two years old at the end of April. None of my Pokemon knew their birthdays, really, although for Sweetheart I could guess in a ballpark. It was a shame, in a way. Maybe I'd let them pick a day later so they could all celebrate it at one point or another. I chuckled as I walked up to the door, thinking that Sweetheart would definitely pick today if I gave her the choice to. Princess levitated the bags on Mom's porch, and it took me a few seconds to remember that people just didn't lock their doors in Twinleaf, so I just pushed it open and smiled when I saw that Mom was dragging a huge grill out of the kitchen.

"Where do you even keep that thing," I asked with a coy smile.

"Oh, around," she said. "Just kidding, I actually borrowed it from the neighbors. Uh, passing through."

I moved out of the way and watched her drag the grill out of the house. She'd connected an extension cord to it. Mom had taken surprisingly well to the news that I now owned a Tyranitar, possibly because she didn't actually get how rare they were? She did get spooked when she saw how big Sweetheart was this afternoon when I came back, though.

"Are you sure if I release her here no one will care?" I muttered as I followed her outside.

"Well it's not that they won't care, but they certainly won't tell the world about it," she grunted as she set the grill outside. "We kept Lake Verity hidden from outsiders for decades, Grace. No one will tattle."

"If you say so," I said.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if someone figured it out anyway, just annoying. I released the entire team and we spent a nice evening together.

And holy crap, did Sweetheart like meat.

—

It was the next day, now. I didn't know what it was with Aliyah and candles, but each session, she had a different one. This time, I could recognize the smell, though, and I'd probably turn this into a game in the future.

"Lavender?" I asked.

She dipped her head. "Yes. I was born in Lavender town in Kanto, if you were curious."

I leaned forward. "I heard the ruler there was a bit... special."

"I left far before Agatha was given the city to rule to force her retirement," Aliyah smiled. "But she was an omnipresence in the city even before she ruled there, and remains so. But enough about my hometown, my dear. Let us talk about today's theme."

She handed me three cards— were those custom-made? Truth, Separation, or Judgment were written on each of the cards, with... ominous-looking designs on each of them, but also somewhat comforting? They were hard to describe. Where had she found the time to design and draw these?

"Yesterday, we laid out the topics you wanted to approach during our time together, but these are some of the ones you focused on," she explained. "Pick a card."

My fingers hovered over the cards. "Um, I guess I'll pick... truth today."

"Today? Oh no, Grace, we'll be working on Truth for the next week," she said, grabbing back the other two cards and shoving them in her bag. "Let us begin with this week's theme, then. You told me you felt resentment toward your friend for telling all of your friends about the raid."

"Not resentment. That's a little too harsh," I muttered. "Uh, I guess I don't know how to call it. On one hand, I think it was for the best, because clearly what my friends think about me is the main thing stopping me from becoming something I'd regret, but on the other, it's like... the rug was pulled from under me before I was ready."

Aliyah paused for a second, and shared a look with her Chimecho, so I uncomfortably shifted on my mother's porch.

"I'm sure there were better ways to handle it," she nodded. "Would you rather he have warned you beforehand, and you told people together?"

I shivered when I imagined that. "Well, no."

"Hm. You did not want to be present for the news, then, so at the very least, you were spared from that."

"Yeah, no. Watching them get an entirely different picture of me while I'm sitting there would have been too much. I think I would have run away."

"Did you want to wait a few weeks to tell them, then?"

"Well, I can't put a hard number on it. It's just— it was messy, and now everything's tangled, and it's never going to go back to how it was before."

"I believe, Grace, that if you wanted to be honest, there was no way your relationships were going to be unchanged, no matter when you communicated what you had done."

Ah. So I'd lost from the start, then. In my quest for satisfaction and revenge, I'd broken down everything I'd ever loved irreparably. I could only muster a shaky breath in response.

"But that does not mean you will never be friends again," Aliyah pressed. "And I believe it was better said sooner rather than later. Of course, I do not know your friends beyond what their files told me, but from what you described, they obviously still care for you."

"Yeah, like you'd care for a monster because you don't want them to hurt anyone else," I said with a sad laugh. "Gotta keep Grace placated, or who knows what she'll do next?"

"There will be a period of readjustment," she nodded. "But you cannot put the blame on them for acting differently, can you? And since honesty is something you value, you would not have kept it hidden."

I hugged my knees. "If I'm being honest... I think I never would have said anything if it had been up to me," I whispered. "I'm a hypocrite, Aliyah. When I battled Maylene for my fifth badge, I did something to her Infernape... I, uh, drew out her suffering to press Maylene's buttons while preventing her from recalling her. It was all a part of a plan to break her, you see."

And I was sure now that the Gym Leaders had received the reports, Maylene was feeling very vindicated right now. To be honest, she had every right to be. There had been no more messages from Candice, although we only spoke around once a week anyway, but I'd be a fool to expect things to be normal again.

"And?" she asked. She knew the answer, but wanted me to say it out loud.

"I never told anyone about that part of the plan when I confessed, because I knew how fucked up it was," I finished with a heavy breath.

"I'll still come visit you," I said. "And it's not like I'm staying in Unova permanently. You know, I have this goal... well, it's kind of embarrassing to say it out loud."

She raised an eyebrow, but didn't force me to spit it out, which was nice of her. I stayed silent for a minute or so and just enjoyed her gently touching my head and the snipping of the scissors.

"Well, I want to travel the world, sort of. Meet strong trainers from all over and battle them until I reach the peak."

"Well, I don't know much about battling, but people say you're talented, and you've come far already."

I almost shook my head. "No, you don't get it. I'm not even close to my goal yet. What I'm doing right now's small potatoes."

"Calling that huge Tyranitar of yours small potatoes is giving me whiplash, Grace."

"Obviously you'd say that, you have no frame of reference," I grumbled. "But still, even after everything that happened, it's one of my dreams."

"Oh? What are your other dreams?"

"To help Pokemon in society," I said. "Partly why I'm going to Unova, really. They're one of the worst places to be for Pokemon, and I want to try to remedy that."

My mother hummed. "Do you have a plan on how you're going to approach it?"

"Oh. Uh, not yet, but I've gotten some experience working in a Pokemon rights organization and in politics. Not enough to change the world yet, though. I wanted to start looking stuff up this summer."

Snip. "Can you lower your head a little for me?" she asked, and I obliged her. "Thank you. Just remember to save time for yourself like you've been doing here, hm? It can't be all training all the time. Or... working in politics."

"I've been... relaxed— well, Sunyshore was relaxing. We met a girl there and had kind of a vacation." And now she isn't talking to me anymore. "You're right, though. I guess I should decompress more, it's just difficult."

"Well, I'm here if you need anything," she softly said. "And your Dad too, obviously. You... well, I won't blame you for not relying on me much, but you should rely on him more."

"Well, you know how it is with League stuff. Can't really say anything."

"Hmhm."

Silence between us had grown comfortable, now, but it didn't last long. She'd tell me about a story from her childhood to pass the time, like how Twinleaf used to be even more isolated than it was now when she'd been a kid, or her time in Jubilife— all before meeting Dad, of course. I still didn't like it when she reminisced of her time with him, or the little time she had with me as a baby, because it hurt. I did allow her to slip in that she used to cut his hair all the time, though, which is how she got so good at it.

"Ta-dah!" she beamed, outstretching her hands. "What do you think?"

"It looks good," I said. I turned my head around and nodded. "Yeah, I like it. Thank you."

"Just— just good?"

"Great!" I quickly added. "Perfect length, just like I asked you." I paused, chewing on my next words. "Uh, it's just hard to feel good whenever I cut my hair. I've always been attached to it, so sorry if I sound bummed. It's just something I have to do, so..."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who asked you," I said. "Don't worry about it."

Mom gave me a quick nod and patted down my shoulders for any loose hairs.

"Well, I'll leave you to it, since you said you liked to wash your hair after a haircut."

"Yup. Thanks again for the help."

I watched her leave the bathroom as she reiterated that she'd clean up all the loose hair when I was done.

I was going to miss her, wasn't I?

—

I was leaving Twinleaf today.

There hadn't been much to pack, since I was traveling light, and thirty minutes after my session with Aliyah finished, I was ready to leave. I'd never been good with goodbyes, but when I'd first come here, I had never expected I'd actually feel like crying when I left. I hadn't even spent long here, just a few days. This was the same mother I'd hated my entire life, yet I couldn't bring myself to do so anymore when I looked at her. She had messed up terribly, it had all been her fault, and because of her my dad had been ruined for who knew how many years.

Forgive, no, I repeated in my head. But I had learned to like her anyway. It wasn't love yet, although I believed that her being my mother was what made my stay here so emotional. Cecilia had often told me that I was just like my Dad, and even though I didn't see it, I figured she must have told the truth, but I'd seen quirks I shared with my Mom even though we'd never lived together save for these past five days.

Five days, yes. I had ended up extending my stay by a day.

"I guess it's time," I said, fiddling with my good foot. "Thanks for housing me, and thanks for kicking your mother out for me too."

'Your mother' and not 'grandma' was something she noticed, but she paid it no mind, instead wrapping me into a hug. "You'll always be welcome here. I hope Twinleaf gave you some of what you needed."

"Well I feel a bit better than I did when I first came here," I said in the crook of her neck. "I still have plenty of issues, but I'll try to deal. It's scary in a way, to go back to the real world. Not that Twinleaf isn't real."

"But it's away from everything," Mom muttered. "I get it."

Ah, of course, she does. Why else would she have run away here from Jubilife if she didn't?

"Stay safe out there," she said.

"I'll try."

I hopped on Princess and after some waving, we were off. Five minutes later, and I could no longer see Twinleaf. We were not going toward Sandgem, however. We were flying toward Lake Verity. A strong gust of wind blew at our backs and my body jerked back as Princess sped up so quickly the world below me became a blur. She'd gotten better again, I noted. Like before, a League Trainer— this time a woman— appeared to greet me and accompanied us into the base to bring me to see the Commander. I had to talk to Aliyah anyway, since I had to ask how the hell she was going to follow me on the routes, considering she'd said we'd have a session every single day. Commander Bethany was sitting in the same office, with the exact same clothes and position. It was somewhat uncanny, how neat she was. Aliyah dipped her head at me with a shadow of a smile.

"I'm here to see the Guardian," I declared. "And Aliyah—"

"When you finish your meeting, we'll have to keep you here for an hour or two to confirm the extent of your new capabilities," Bethany interrupted. "After that, you will be free to leave."

Oh, that was not how I'd expected that to go. I bit down on a snappy retort and exhaled. This was... a reasonable ask, all things considered. It made sense that the League wouldn't just let me run off without knowing what I could do or take my word for it, considering the power wouldn't be split this time and that we'd hidden the Voice from them for months. That came with a loss of trust. Their thought process made sense.

"Okay," I nodded. "Aliyah, can we talk?"

"If it's about how I will find you on the routes—" how did she even know that? "—rest assured. Chimecho has his ways."

"Oh. Okay?" I asked, slightly confused. Arceus, psychic type owners were weird. "I'll be on my way, then?"

"We'll have an assortment of trainers escort you," Bethany nodded.

I bit my lip. "Sure, whatever."

Did she need to take a tone that aggressive with me? Arceus, I knew not everyone was going to like me— and even fewer people in positions of command— but I thought a crumb of respect had been earned, at least. Chimecho's eyes shone, and whatever he did to mask the sound of our voices ended. I was led outside of the command post and toward the Lake. I was actually put in a car, and they drove me to the Lake's shore. I passed a hand over my Pokeballs to calm myself as I hobbled toward the water. Five trainers were behind me, each with a grass type out. They were probably hoping to put me to sleep should I come back from this— which from their perspective would be in an instant— and go haywire.

Well, here goes. I placed a trembling hand near the water, which at this point was practically a magnetic force on my skin—

I cursed when scorching water jumped at my wrist.

—

One second I'd been at the shores of Lake Verity, and the next I was falling in a place completely devoid of anything else. It was just pure darkness as far as the eye could see. I screamed as I kept falling for what felt like an eternity until I slowed and gently landed in what felt like a puddle which was ankle-deep. Strangely enough, in here, my ankle wasn't broken. I nearly gasped in relief when I twirled it around and felt no pain whatsoever.

But my relief was short-lived. Colors swarmed the world at once, filling the darkness with lights.

I glanced upward and instantly buckled to my knees and suddenly, there was no air in my lungs. Breathe. There had been a flash of pink, a red gem and pale blue skin. Just looking at Mesprit was suffocating, but that was not the worst of it. Their emotions were incomprehensibly large. That was what the colors were. They filled this entire domain and beyond. I nearly gasped when I saw colors I'd never even seen before, ever-changing. They shifted like a mirage in the desert, never holding a single form for long. All this time, what I had seen— experienced— lived had been so small compared to this that I could never hope to even come close to this. Every second that passed felt like I was drowning, desperately trying to keep my head above the waves to no avail.

So I gave in and let myself drown. I sobbed so uncontrollably I couldn't even stand up straight. I laughed until my lungs ran out of air and I kept going. I glared until I forgot how to blink. I raged until I dug through the flesh in my palms with my nails. I danced until I couldn't feel my legs anymore. I grinned until my lips hurt. I sulked. I wept until I ran out of tears. I contemplated, until I learned to raise my head again and swam with the current. I didn't know how long that took. Possibly hours, or even days. I took in my first real breath since I'd come here, because apparently I hadn't needed to breathe, and I let the warm air fill my lungs as colors spun around me. Looking at Mesprit in more than a passing glance was still impossible, but at least I could stand.

In front of me was a God. The concept of Emotion itself.

"Welcome, Shard of Emotion! Took you long enough! I thought you'd keep teasing me and you would never come to meet!"