Chapter 88: Stoneheaded

After guiding Wu to a broad tower with a small artificial forest, Onoki turned to his village’s invader and asked, “What are your intentions for Iwa? There must be ‘something’ you want from us…”

Landing a few meters away from the old man, Wu replied, “Right back at you. Tell me why you placed a thirty million Ryo bounty on my head, Alive Only. And try not to lie too much. I get annoyed when people believe they can deceive me.”

“Hmph…!”

Though he wanted to call Wu a naive and presumptuous brat, Onoki forced himself to remain ‘calm,’ answering, “After your assault on Kumo, rumors began to circulate about your supposed affiliation with Iwa. I merely wanted to see the upstart that some were calling my Grandson…”

Adopting a half-lidded expression, Wu remarked with a sarcastic, “Yeah, okay.” before crossing his arms and asking, “And then what? You were just going to let me walk away after forking over thirty mill to meet me? Get to the point, old man.”

“…”

Furrowing his thick, bushy brows, Onoki resisted the urge to tell Wu he should ‘respect’ his Elders. However, considering he had attempted to kill the boy several times, he swallowed his rebuke and admitted, “Before I learned of your affiliation to Konoha, I intended to invite you to join Iwa. Now, I wish I had never issued that bounty…”

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu revealed, “It wouldn’t have mattered. As I said before, I’m planning to bring an end to all large-scale conflicts. The only reason I didn’t come sooner is because I was busy with the Chunin Exams and planning around the Suna-Oto invasion. That actually worked out in your favor, as, had I come to your village sooner, there would be considerably more collateral damage. Back when I first visited Kumo, I just beat up everyone. I’m a lot more ‘civil’ now. Well, at least when others extend the same courtesy…”

“…”

After waiting several seconds for the old man to respond, Wu decided to get to the point, stating, “Times are changing, Onoki. You’re a relic of the previous era, holding back the present. Entrust your Granddaughter to me, and I will shape her into the most powerful Tsuchikage to ever exist. The alternative is contending against the united strength and economic might of the remaining Lands.”

Narrowing his eyes, Onoki replied, “So that’s how it is…you’re intending to conquer the Elemental Nations?”

Shaking his head, Wu calmly asserted, “I’m intending to ‘unite’ them. As someone who has lived since the Warring States Period, you have had the chance to witness how drastically things have changed in just a few short decades. The only thing preventing even greater prosperity is people like you, relics from the past who are too headstrong to accept that the world is leaving their antiquated values behind.”

Snorting through his large, bulbous nose, Onoki retorted, “And what do you know of my values? You’re just a brat with more power than sense. The moment something doesn’t go your way, you’ll reveal your true nature and attempt to crush it with overwhelming force.”

Adopting a deadpan expression, Wu remarked, “I dislike hypocrites. You have tried to kill me multiple times, and your people didn’t hesitate to try and do the same when they thought I had exhibited weakness. You would condemn others for ‘resorting to force,’ but it’s the only thing you fucking know. Here I am, the person in the superior position, trying to ‘talk’ things through. Open your beady little eyes and clean out your fucking ears, you hypocritical little shit.”

With his nose becoming even redder due to outrage and humiliation, the only thing stopping Onoki from trying to ‘erase’ Wu was his understanding that it would likely fail. As for whether or not he was a hypocrite, he didn’t care at all. The Land of Earth was a cold and inhospitable place built atop and from stone. Its people weren’t ‘soft’ like those from cushier provinces such as the Land of Fire.

Taking advantage of Onoki’s silence, Wu revealed, “Treaties are already in the works. Within the next five years, Konoha, Kumo, Suna, and Kiri will all form a singular union. Within twenty, all Lands within the Continent will be united under a single ruling body. Iwa can remain obstinate if it wants, but it’s only a matter of time before the Earth Daimyo caves to the pressure of international politics. At that time, it will be too late for you to backpedal and get in line. This world doesn’t need people who only move forward if others drag them kicking and screaming.”

To remind Onoki what was on the table, Wu pulled out a 50-year peach from his Storage Pouch. Whatever the man wanted to say never left his throat. Instead, his expression became increasingly grim as he imagined how the next twenty years might play out. He knew what kind of man the Earth Daimyo was. He might not yield to external pressure under normal circumstances, but the allure of Wu’s peaches and the possibility of being cut off from the rest of the world would compel his capitulation. After all, the Land of Earth imported a lot more than it exported…

Realizing that Iwa had already been backed into a corner, the expression on Onoki’s face became exceptionally ugly. If he couldn’t kill Wu right this instant-

As he was still in his Sage transformation, Wu could sense the change in Onoki’s intentions based on the fluctuations of his Chakra. Thus, before the old man could even complete his thought, Wu thrust the tip of his staff into Onoki’s face, stopping less than a centimeter away from the man’s bulbous nose as he stated, “You’re beginning to try my patience…” in an ominous tone.

Though he initially tensed, a contemptuous expression appeared on Onoki’s face as he asked, “Yeah, and? If you kill me, Iwa will never be yours. Even if you threaten or destroy our village, we will endure and destabilize the very foundation atop which you stand…!”

Shouldering his staff, Wu parroted, “Yeah, and? You act as though I, or the world, needs Iwa. And who do you think you’re kidding? Even if a few hardliners acted against me, their numbers would gradually diminish with the ebb and flow of time. People don’t live for conflict, old man. And even grudges wane. So long as the world continues to move forward, even the most stalwart among your people would eventually yield, choosing to live in peace rather than dying in strife.”

“…”

Unable to refute Wu’s words, Onoki just glared at him indignantly for a full minute and a half before snorting and saying, “So be it. They don’t call me the great Fence-Sitter of Iwagakure for nothing. For now, I will observe in silence as you attempt to shape the world with your ideals. However, I will not ‘entrust’ my Granddaughter to you. If you want her to accompany you, you’ll need to convince her yourself…”

No longer wanting to continue the conversation, Onoki began to levitate. Since Wu made no attempts to stop him, he then turned around and flew away, his expression grimmer than ever before as he raced to talk with his Granddaughter before Wu could. He knew Kurotsuchi would likely accept Wu’s invitation due to her sense of duty toward the village. Onoki had no problem with that. However, if she was going to be ‘infiltrating’ an enemy village, there were things they needed to discuss in his official capacity as Tsuchikage, not just her Grandfather…

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Seeing the Tsuchikage fly off, Wu was half-tempted to race him back to the location of his Granddaughter. Instead, he found a nice place in the grass to lie down, hands behind his head as he closed his eyes to reflect on the encounter. Dust Release was just as destructive as he expected, but the overall strength of the Tsuchikage was…meh. If not for his ability to fly, Wu imagined that the Raikage could take out the elderly man in an instant.

Shifting his thoughts away from the two old men, Wu reflected on his first impression of Kurotsuchi. Her pupilless pink eyes gave the impression of a mutated form of the Byakugan, but he didn’t sense any anomalous Chakra around them. In other words, they were just ordinary, uniquely pink eyes.

Fast-forwarding a bit, Wu recalled that the young woman was one of the people that exhaled superheated black ash in his direction. He had heard that many within the direct line of the First Tsuchikage were able to use a unique Kekkei Genkai known as Lava or Corrosion Release, depending on whether or not they had a greater inclination toward Fire or Earth. He had never heard of the current Tsuchikage’s Granddaughter possessing it, but if she did, that increased her value by quite a bit.

Skipping past the sporty-looking girl, a faint smile developed across Wu’s face as he recalled the steam attack of the kappa-like Jinchuriki. It wasn’t often he felt pain these days, so he had to give the inordinately tall kappa, or, more accurately, his Tailed Beast, some credit. Had he possessed the durability of an average person, the massive column of steam produced by the duo would have melted him into goo, bones and all.

Imagining the kappa-like man unleashing such an attack against an army of ‘average’ Shinobi, Wu could understand why Tailed Beasts were viewed as deterrents and weapons of mass destruction. Ordinary Shinobi had no hope of fending against such an attack, and if they were caught unaware, even a Kage could be done in if they found themselves in the path of the steam.

Recalling that Iwa had two Jinchuriki, one possessing the Four-Tails and the other containing the Five-Tails, Wu deduced that the kappa-like man was probably Han, the latter’s vessel. The Four-Tails was fairly famous for granting its Jinchuriki the purest form of Lava Release, so unless the red-themed kappa was preserving it to avoid damaging the village, Wu figured that the Jinchuriki of the Four-Tails, Roshi, was elsewhere.

Interrupting Wu’s reminiscence, someone fast approached his location before touching down in the grass a few meters away. He half-expected them to try and attack while he appeared to have his guard lowered, but they just waited a few seconds before questioning, “You can’t seriously be asleep, can you…?”

Without opening his eyes, Wu replied, “I have slept less than five days in the past nine months. So no, I am not asleep. Rather, I was thinking about you…”

Rising to a seated position, Wu met the gaze of the pink-eyed Kunoichi and asked, “You’re able to fly…?”

Though she was tempted to say it was none of his business, Kurotsuchi replied, “Jiji can let others fly for a short period by reducing their weight. I can’t fly on my own, at least not yet.”

Raising his brows, Wu asked, “How does reducing your weight allow you to fly? If you were simply lighter than air, you would be getting knocked around by air currents. Do you use Chakra to accelerate yourself…?”

Crossing her arms, Kurotsuchi replied, “Does it matter? You’re able to fly well enough as is. The method my family uses is unique to us, so don’t go sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

Adopting an amused smile, Wu remarked, “You’re pretty aggressive. You’ll get along well with some of the other girls.”

Furrowing her brows, Kurotsuchi asked, “Just how many women have you collected…?” in a flat, ostensibly offended tone. In response, Wu casually revealed, “At least one from every major nation. But you’re also mistaken, as I don’t ‘collect’ women. I’m looking for strong and resolute individuals that can shoulder the burden of the future alongside me. Even if you came to Konoha and spent the next five years focused exclusively on improving yourself, that’s fine with me. I don’t need to force people to share my bed. I have several I can barely keep at bay.”

Recalling what her Grandfather had said, Kurotsuchi’s expression relaxed noticeably as she asked, “Lord Tsuchikage said you want to train me to be his successor? Do you have some secret method to help people increase their Chakra capacity or something? Is it related to those peaches…?”

Rolling his eyes, Wu remarked, “These are the kinds of questions you ask ‘after’ you’ve built rapport with your target. For now, all you need to know is that I can help refine your current abilities. All the ‘secret’ stuff can wait until later.”

Punctuating his words, Wu adopted a modified, extremely casual form of the Strong Style utilized by Guy and Lee. Then, with a taunting smile, he narrowed his eyes and appended, “Shall we see if you’re even qualified to receive my guidance…?”

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(A/N: Hypocrites can be quite annoying…)