CH 13

When Yi-heon asked Se-kyung to pick a store to visit, he took Yi-Heon to a private cafe near their school. Antique interiors were the main focus, and Western-style decorations were everywhere. After paying the bill, Kim Deuk-pal sat down in a corner and covered his eyes with his palms. It was difficult enough to keep up with school, but trying to fix what Song Yi-heon had done drained him.

He didn’t think it would be difficult to beat up the students who bullied Song Yi-heon. Honestly, Hong Jae-min was excited to beat them up, and Choi Se-kyung’s eyes were already glazed over before he even started.

Kim Deuk-pal spread his fingers apart. Se-kyung, who had just received his drink and slice of cake, set his bag down on the seat across from him. Kim Deuk-pal, who had to go back to school to ask for a palm, was naked, but Se-kyung, who was dismissed, had his backpack with him

“You eat a lot. I remember you paying the cafe bill before.

“Eat too.”

Children eat when adults serve them. Kim Deuk-pal picked up his fork to pretend to serve Choi Se-kyung so he could eat comfortably. The cake topped with pickled fruit tickled his taste buds, and he clicked his tongue as he remembered the price of this palm-sized treat.

He had worked his way up to the right-hand man of the organization’s boss and was financially well-off, but he had started at the bottom of the pecking order, so he secretly looked for value for money. It was annoying that a cake the size of a palm that didn’t go anywhere was the same price as a bowl of soup.

“What’s the point of paying for something like this? I’ll just eat hot soup?”

Kim Deuk-pal muttered his disapproval, and a moment later, he scraped the crumbs off his empty plate with his fork.

“Do you want to eat?”

Se-kyung pushed the untouched cake toward him, and he coughed in embarrassment. As if his body was influenced, he craved sweets he hadn’t even looked at before. He took the cheesecake in the center and cut it with his fork. He gulped down a slice of cake that looked like it would crumble.

“I didn’t want to scratch it and make a mess, so I decided to deal with Song’s confession first.”

“Hmph, about that confession?”

Kim Deuk-pal was heterosexual, but had nothing against homosexuals. He’d led night prayers and even managed an organized night during the adult night scene’s peak. He’d been exposed to all sorts of weird people, including dick-crazed babies, homosexuals, tits on top and dicks on the bottom, and he became sexually open.

Since Song Yi-heon suffered from outing, he decided to confess love.

“You know I got hurt in the winter. I hit my head.”

Choi Se-kyung looked up like he was sucking on straw. His conscience pricked at the thought of lying, so he broke off a piece of the amber cake.

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Kim Deuk-pal believed that Choi Se-kyung liked women so much that she wore perfume on his handkerchief. He knew his girl-loving subordinates were homophobic, and he categorized Choi Se-kyung in the same category. He assumed the boy would be offended by his confession, so he made up an excuse.

“That’s why I don’t remember. I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember confessing?”

Yi-heon tried to play it off like he didn’t remember, but when Se-kyung clenched her jaw and asked, he felt watched. He rubbed his sweaty palms against his school uniform pants. He was not sure why he should take the fall if the confession was originally Song Yi-heon’s.

“Uh… so, can we just pretend it didn’t happen?”

“Hmph…….”

“I’m a student , I have to study. Who has time for a relationship?”

It was as if Kim Deuk-pal rejected Se-kyung’s proposal to take him out with. Se-kyung wordlessly stirred and sipped his straw to dry Kim’s blood. As he waited anxiously for an answer, he glanced over at Choi Se-kyung.

Like his long, delicate fingers holding the cup, his well-proportioned body even in a plain school uniform shirt, and his faded eyes, he blended in like an oil painting with the cafe background. 

‘I can understand why the original Song Yiheon fell in love. However, I cursed Song Yiheon’s soul for liking a fox cub like that, and where is Kim Deuk-pal?’

Se-kyung put down his cup and rubbed his chin.

“You said you’d die without me, you said you loved me, you called me out to the playground on a snowy day. You cried and cried and cried, and it bothered me. I felt responsible for sending you away like that, so I wanted to see if I felt the same way…….”

As if reminiscing, Yi-chae’s wandering eyes calmed down, and she slowly touched her lips.

“I can’t forget your tears?”

Song Yiheon asked, shocked at what Kim Deuk-pal had done, his mouth agape.

“Are you okay with not dating me?”

“Of course!”

It was exactly what the straight Kim Deuk-pal wanted. As he slammed his fist down on the table in enthusiastic affirmation, Se-kyung smirked.

“So, does that mean you don’t like me anymore?”

“Uh!”

He nodded wildly in disbelief. Choi Se-kyung nervously checked his mood. When he clenched his fist, threatening to punch Choi Se-kyung who was casually sipping his drink, Se-kyung suddenly locked eyes with him and Kim Deuk-pal stopped breathing.

“By the way, Lee Hun, I never said you had confessed your love.”

“…What?”

“You threatened me.”

Kim Deuk-pal, who believed this was a confession of love, didn’t understand what Choi Se-kyung was saying.

After he stopped laughing, Se-kyung looked at him over. His eyes, hand gestures, intensity of breathing. He observed physical reactions that could not be hidden, and his keen eyes shone as he noticed the change in the girl’s lips color.

The lie that he had called him to the playground on a snowy day to confess his love was a lie he made up to save his face. Choi Se-kyung told the truth. Last winter, on a rainy day before Christmas, Song Yi-heon showed up at his doorstep in his white pajamas and rang the doorbell.

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“He came to my door on a rainy day. If I don’t do what he says, he’ll expose me as someone who manipulates the situation to his advantage.”

“…….”

“I asked you to come into my house, but you ran away. You don’t know how many times I wandered the streets in the rain looking for you.”

A rainy day. Was he referring to the day Song Yi-heon fell off the overpass? Kim Deuk-pal tried to suppress his cold blood and think of a way out. But Choi Se-kyung didn’t give him a break, rushing in with a barrage of confusing statements.

“You really don’t remember. Yes, there was a big accident, and you may not recall. You may not remember what I said about manipulating people and directing situations to my advantage and liking. I understand.”

Song Yi-heon, what did you do? Kim Deuk-pal bit his lip. He stopped making excuses and glared at Choi Se-kyung.

“…….”

“That’s right. As you threatened, I play on people’s emotions. It’s easy. I read their likes and dislikes, reactions, and act accordingly. In moderation, give them what they want and they’ll go away, never crossing the line. That’s why I watch the people around me. I’m sensitive to change.”

“Don’t talk back, say what you want to say.”

When Choi concluded that he wasn’t willing to go along with it, Kim Deuk-pal changed his demeanor. He gulped down the cold coffee. After clearing his throat a few times, he calmed down and hid his agitation.

Se-kyung’s mouth twitched as he watched Song Yi-heon do something he would never have done.

“Not recognizing you by your barely-there bangs means nothing to me, but I didn’t recognize you at the bookstore, and I wouldn’t have recognized you at the incinerator if you hadn’t been with Hong Jae-min.”

When Choi Se-kyung spotted Kim Deuk-pal in the bookstore, he was fascinated by his height and build. However, he thought he was not Song Yi-heon because of his short haircut and junior high school-aged face. Still, he approached him with a question book. The more he talked to him, the more convinced he was that he was not Song Yi-heon. The more we talked, the more convinced he was that he wasn’t Song Yiheon.

“Song Yiheon was different because he had a crush on me for two years and stared at me. That’s why I knew him.”

No one else knew, but Choi Se-kyung, who suffered from Song Yi-heon’s stalking-like attention, did.

“A big accident can change a person. He was hospitalized for two months. I was sensitive, I tried to understand, but after what he did to me, I can’t see him as the same person.”

Se-kyung stared at Kim’s stiffened arms from afar.

“You’re not Song Yi-heon.”

He revealed the suspicion hiding under his smile.

* * *

December 23, 20XX.

It happened while Kim Deuk-pal was still in Kim Deuk-pal’s body, while he was tutored by Daechi-dong Tweezers in a hanok.

The weather forecast called for snow, but the December streets were covered in rain.

The freezing cold wind chilled him to the bone. The streets were dark, with broken streetlights left unattended by holiday cheer. In a residential neighborhood in Yongsan-gu, a boy wearing only white pajamas ran down the street in the cold rain. The boy’s white bare feet splashed in rainwater puddles. His lips were white as he exhaled a quick breath.

At the same time, in a nearby detached house, a boy sat at an angle, reading a book. He was taller than his peers, his broad shoulders covered by a loose knit. However, there was something boyish about him, whether it was the lingering fuzz in his ears or the fine lines on his face.

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A laptop was on his desk, and a messenger window constantly appeared. The kids he made friends with in Canada, where she travelled to study abroad every vacation, didn’t take him out of their messenger room when he returned to Korea. Instead, they posted pictures of Se-kyung from the previous vacation and made plans to spend the New Year in Korea and stay with him when he came to Canada.

Choi had his back to the laptop. The mute laptop remained silent.

Raindrops pounded against the window, but the only sound in the room was the bookshelves creaking. The room, designed for a sound-sensitive owner, had thick soundproof walls. If you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t know it was raining outside.

Living in Canada, Se-kyung missed his homeland not his parents or the food, but his perfectly soundproofed room where he could relax.

Choi was just as sensitive as Song Yi-heon. The difference was that he had the stamina to deal with his sensitivity and his parents to look after him

-Smart.

A knock on the door broke the silence. Se Kyung’s nerves, loosened in silence, tightened at once. A tiny ripple ran down his numb spine. A rock rippling in a calm lake is not welcome. he’d always wanted to pull a rock out of the lake and crush it, but never got around to it.