CH 47

47 Muttering of A Certain Crown Prince

I am very annoyed. Anything and everything in this world seems to just want to piss me off.

Why was I blamed for something that I didn’t even understand?

Why did Mother scold me and tell me to do better?

Why?

I’m already doing my best, you know? I have never cut a corner, not even once, Mother.

So, why?

I have done what everyone told me to. I learnt culture, horse riding, and fencing. I have never once slacked off; not even for a bit since everyone told me again and again that it is the duty of the royal family to protect the citizens of this kingdom.

I have done my best. My very best. Yet, why is it that today, Mother told me that I had to put more effort in as the descendant of the Six Gods and the Saint?

But the method given to me and the result I was aiming for… none of them make sense to me.

And all this happened because of the son of Marquis Goldberg. That guy (Theodore) showed signs of being the descendant of the Six Gods and Mother got flustered upon receiving that news. As such, she urged me to do my best to awaken that sign too.

However, upon realizing that I didn’t show such a sign no matter how hard she searched, she ended up secluding herself inside the inner palace, looking completely dejected while doing so. Meanwhile, my father ―― His Majesty ―― himself didn’t say a word about this matter, but it was clear to me that he was disappointed.

Honestly, I had no idea about what they expected from me. But, what was clear to me was one fact. It seemed I had to increase my effort from now on. Just like that time.

Back then, I was three years old. My mother told me that the saint was about to appear, and that girl would marry me. She said that I, as the descendant of the Six Gods and the Saint, was destined to unite with the reborn Saint. As such, she told me to do my best to become a king that would suit the Saint as her husband.

The girl, who was suspected to be the reborn Saint, that I met was an extremely adorable girl. She had purplish silver hair that she touched with care every once in a while since it was coiled around. And really, it was very interesting to see her hair jolting up and down with her every movement.

And yet.

The moment I saw her eyes, I knew that she was reluctant. I knew that because she looked at me with sympathy, as if she was sympathizing with me.

And seeing that, I couldn’t help but feel upset because it felt as if she was saying ‘Poor child’ to me.

When I saw her off, she suddenly stopped on her track. I looked towards the direction she was looking at and saw the figure of my half-brother walking toward our direction.

And different from the look she directed at me, she was looking at my half-brother with a sad expression on her face. She looked as if she was a mother who wanted to rush toward her son.

This is bad. Big brother is mine. He’s the only one who’s kind to me. The only one who encourages me when I’m feeling down. He’s mine.

“Do your best. I know you can do it, Eliot.”

I remembered his words, as if it happened just yesterday. That day when he encouraged me. My brother patted me, who was secretly crying after sneaking away from the chamberlain, maids, and the tutor and ended up losing my way in the rose’s maze, encouraging me.

My brother did something that no one had ever done for me before.

And that’s why I felt a bad premonition about this situation; and why I could never forgive anyone who tried to take away my brother from me, even if said person was the reborn Saint.

Perhaps, because she understood that somehow, she ended up going back home without doing anything to my brother. That’s good. I childishly felt giddy.

Still, even after that, even though all she did was look at my brother with a sad and forlorn expression on her face, I still didn’t like her. Not only was she looking at my brother like that, but at the same time, she was also looking at me with pity in her eyes. Always.

Nevertheless, I didn’t do anything. There was no reason.

But, on a certain day, after a maid told me that Katrina had come for a visit and I had gone to see her – it was honestly only for form’s sake since she was my fiance after all – I saw something that alarmed me.

I saw Katrina merrily chatting with my brother in the rose garden. Although, truthfully speaking, it was only a short conversation akin to that of a greeting… both of them looked like they enjoyed it for some reason unknown to me and that… that burns.

No, I couldn’t let this happen. My brother is mine and mine alone. He was supposed to be averse to the feeling of affection coming from others. He was not supposed to enjoy other’s affection.

Please look only at me.

Unable to stand it, I tied her to me. I tied her so that she wouldn’t get my brother’s attention again.

In order to isolate my brother, so that he would always be lonely, and――

“… You’ll only rely on me.”

Yet.

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YETYETYETYETYETYETYET!

WHY DID HE (THEODORE) BECOME THE ONE WHO STOOD BESIDE MY BROTHER?! WHY DID HE SHOW YOU (THEODORE) THAT SMILE?! THAT SMILE IS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE! I AM THE ONLY ONE HE’S SUPPOSED TO SHOW THAT SMILE TO!!!

My brother… My brother is MINE. And yet… Why… Why did he never look at me?

Not only that, she was also smiling. A smile that I had never seen before.

And it wasn’t a smile filled with pity or forlorn feeling. It was… a smile that’s tinged with intimacy.

Why… Why did he only smile like that around you (Theodore)? Why did he never smile like that around me?

Tell me why. Just… WHY?

“I will make your wish come true. I’m gonna help you get along with your big brother.”

The prophecy of that dirty girl suddenly came to my mind.

And it did come true. We had become a bit closer nowadays, yet it vexed me since the reason for that is because that fella(Theodore)’s mediation.

Furthermore, that fella (Theodore) had also been recognized as the descendant of the Six Gods.

Why is there a sign of Six Gods in you? Why is there no sign of Six Gods in me?

Even though I am also a descendant of the Six Gods, why are there no signs of that in me?

Tell me, why?

Aaaah, that fella (Theodore) should just disappear. That way, my brother would really be mine, and…