Chapter 144

The Lucky One VI

There was no paradise to escape to, but the scenery of Saipan was as beautiful as paradise.

The transparent jade sea and the soft sand caressing our feet. Noh Do-hwa muttered, "The sunlight is too strong..."

"Indeed. It's excessively beautiful," I replied.

That was our first impression.

For reference, I was dressed as a cafe barista, while Noh Do-hwa wore a casual t-shirt with a white lab coat fluttering in the sea breeze.

In short, our fashion was aggressively denying that this place was a global resort.

Saipan probably didn't want tourists like us either.Cheêck out latest novels at novelhall.com

"This scenery is totally unsuitable for an undertaker who needs to extract misfortune down to the last drop."

"Your words make me anxious..."

We needed to become even more unfortunate.

Thus, I decided to transform the island's landscape myself.

As an aside, in the end-times marked by emptiness, 'aesthetic formality' was more important than anything else.

A story with a clear beginning, development, climax, and conclusion. Like waking up and muttering, "A strange ceiling..."

Such things were a form of etiquette. Grammar.

And depending on what grammar or worldview you adopted, the anomalies would respond differently.

In other words, even upon arriving at a resort, if you shouted, "Wow! It's summer! The beach! The sea!" and flung off your outerwear to dive into the waves, you would likely encounter anomalies based on 'Japanese-style comics.'

It's basically the same as middle schoolers turning off the lights at night and chanting, "Bunshinsaba, Bunshinsaba."

In the end-times, every action and word of a person could summon all sorts of anomalies.

"Noh Do-hwa, I will now recite an excerpt from 'No Longer Human' by Osamu Dazai."

"What...?"

"You've heard of 'No Longer Human,' right? It's by the same author."

I carried Noh Do-hwa to a cliff by the sea.

When I set her down at the edge, she put her hands in the pockets of her white coat.

"Hmm. Why would you start a cheap recital as soon as we arrive in Saipan?"

"As a former public official, you should study history properly. Noh Do-hwa, Saipan was one of the regions where the Japanese military was defeated by the US during the Pacific War. Many civilians also died in the war."

"So what?"

"This cliff is where the Japanese Imperial Army performed their 'special talent show.'"

"Special talent show...?"

If you were to pick two specialties of the former Japanese Imperial Army, they would be declaring war and mass suicide.

The latter specialty was displayed spectacularly at the northernmost point of Saipan Island.

"This cliff is called Banzai Cliff. It's said that about 10,000 soldiers shouted 'Banzai' and dived off the cliff."

"Okay, and so what?"

"And if you were to name the most famous suicide in Japan, it would be Osamu Dazai."

I pulled out an empty notebook.

"Watch closely, Do-hwa. This is the classic incantation for summoning anomalies."

The loud, clear voice of the recital echoed over the waves from the cliff.

"Ah. On a full moon night. Glimmering, then collapsing, surging, then shattering, the waves surged and I couldn't bear to let go of the hand I was holding onto so I intentionally pushed her away. She was instantly swallowed by the waves and shouted a name loudly. It wasn't my name—."

Splash.

A wave crashed.

At that moment.

-Long live the Emperor!

Splash!

A shadowy figure passed by us and dived off the cliff.

What skill. It was a pity they had been a soldier instead of an Olympic athlete during their lifetime.

"What the fuck...?"

Noh Do-hwa jumped in shock.

It was understandable. Shadowy figures that hadn't existed moments ago suddenly appeared behind us.

-Long live the Emperor!

-Long live the Greater Japanese Empire!

-Long liveeeee!

Splash, splash!

Fortunately, while not Olympians, they had marathon experience. Thousands of shadowy figures started running towards the horizon.

The shadowy figures had no physical form. They passed through our shoulders, sometimes even our bodies, and continued to run.

Interestingly, despite having no physical form, they vividly replicated the effect of 'falling into the waves.'

Splash, splash. The waves caused by humans were triumphing over those caused by nature.

Indeed, the Japanese Imperial Army's true enemy was never the US military but 'nature' itself.

Nature included environments like jungles and seas, but also human nature. The Imperial Army wasn't defeated but was actually victorious.

"Damn, what the hell...?"

"Like human history, summoning anomalies also involves the harmony of Heaven, Earth, and Man (天地人)."

I laughed heartily like the Sword Marquess.

"Japanese perceptions of mass suicide are Heaven (天), the land where the Japanese Imperial Army collectively committed suicide is Earth (地), and Osamu Dazai, the icon of suicide, is Man (人). With these three conditions met so perfectly, how could the anomaly not respond to the incantation?"

"...Seriously, Undertaker. Aren't you already the head of anomalies? What kind of human summons anomalies so easily?"

"Call me a grandmaster shaman."

"Fuck that."

In fact, Osamu Dazai was a leftist who had joined an anti-imperialist student alliance, but what did that matter?

Unless they were tutorial fairies, anomalies had little interest in human political leanings.

Of course, the 'Central Intelligence Agency' living in Namsan, Seoul, was highly interested in human ideologies, but that's a story for another episode.

"If you're suspicious, Noh Do-hwa, you can try reciting next time."

"Next time...?"

"Yes. There's another cliff known for mass suicides around here."

"Yo-hwa."

"Yes...?"

"It's okay."

If the Monkey's Paw wanted a revenge plot, my response was clear.

I smiled kindly.

"Of course, I forgive you."

"...!"

Indeed.

The Monkey's Paw desired a plot where the protagonist pushed others away, saying, [It's too late] [You had many chances, but you wasted them all] [Apologizing now won't change anything].

The protagonist would then find happiness while others fell into misery. It was a cliché of depressing stories.

However.

"No, you have nothing to be forgiven for. I was never disappointed in you, Yo-hwa."

"Teacher...!"

My chosen strategy was to be a 'forgiving' protagonist!

No matter what my comrades did, whether they cut off my limbs or cursed me on SG Net, I accepted it all.

Not allowing a single drop of revenge. This was the masterstroke against the Monkey's Paw's tricks.

-Ukikikik, Hee, Kikikikik.

After all, no matter what tricks the Monkey's Paw played, it was meaningless.

The phenomenon where my comrades were 'controlled by the Monkey's Paw without realizing it' was itself a painful misfortune for me.

'In the end, I'm the one who put my comrades in danger by testing the Monkey's Paw.'

It was all a disaster of my own making, so how could I blame others?

Eventually, I even returned Cheon Yo-hwa to the Korean Peninsula, along with my right leg, as a donation to the awakened in Busan.

This time, I deliberately let Dang Seo-rin take it.

The scene where she cut off my right foot and muttered, "Tsk, I aimed for the heart..." while tossing my leg was a masterpiece.

-Kikikikikikikikik.

The Monkey's Paw convulsed in the void.

Dinosaurs, perfect for riding, appeared to entertain me, and the Inunaki Tunnel was modified to connect all cities on the Korean Peninsula. It used all sorts of methods to bestow luck and happiness upon me.

So, next, I donated my left arm to the Saintess and my right arm to Lee Ha-yul.

The Undertaker Daruma doll was complete.

-Kikikikikikikik.

I felt the Monkey's Paw foaming at the mouth in the void. It had choked on the despair and collapsed.

Noh Do-hwa also foamed at the mouth.

"You're... No, never mind. It's you, so I'm sure you have your reasons. No need to explain. Just come back with only your head, and I'll craft your limbs somehow... Are you smiling? How can you smile right now...?"

Left foot. Right foot. Left arm. Right arm.

My body, suddenly transformed into a genre of mutilation stories, was covered with Noh Do-hwa's custom prosthetics.

The battle between the Monkey's Paw trying to grant me luck and me trying to bestow misfortune upon myself was thrilling to witness. However, like all battles, this one also had a time limit.

The 10th year.

'Finally, it's here.'

The end of the 590th cycle approached.

At last, the moment I had set for the Monkey's Paw's time limit arrived.

And on that very day.

First, the Japanese archipelago was lightly destroyed.

When Noh Do-hwa and I woke up in the beach hut and looked out the window, we immediately knew that the Japanese archipelago had been obliterated.

"...Undertaker, look at that."

"Yes, I see it too."

In a novel where a Korean is the protagonist, the fate of the Japanese archipelago was always dire.

Of course, to me, nationality and race held no particular meaning.

Once you live beyond a millennium, your values and perspective on the world change. Even how you view the world.

Manyo Neko, Phantom Blade, Uehara Shino.

There was also the 'Great Priestess,' the chairperson and first seat of the Magical Girl Association, whom I haven't mentioned and prefer never to mention.

They were all my precious comrades.

I knew well what kind of lives they had led and where they were headed.

In this era where nations had fallen and governments had collapsed, they were volunteers rising from the ground to save those around them.

-I will declare this land a haven of magical girl clichés brimming with hope!

-Killing demons is done with grand tragedy, not light laughter! Tragedy doesn't suit us! Everyone, smile!

That was the purpose of the Magical Girl Association.

However, there were two types of magical girl stories.

Stories where justice ultimately triumphed with comrades. The orthodox faction.

Torture stories where magical girls fell into despair and were torn apart. The demonic cult.

Every day, a great battle between orthodoxy and demonic cult took place in the Japanese archipelago.

And, unfortunately for the magical girls, the genre of this world was inherently wicked.

"What is that...?"

Red flesh.

A massive tower of red flesh rose from the horizon, greedily drinking in the morning sunlight.

North of Saipan. In the direction of the Japanese archipelago.

The distance from here to Tokyo was about 2,400 km.

The tower of 'red flesh' extended its majestic form beyond the horizon.

I muttered.

"It's Go Yuri."

Footnotes:

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