CH 16.1

In fact, it is a bit ridiculous to talk about “taking responsibility” between men, or perhaps it’s more accurate to say “justifying the name of the relationship”.

In any case, as far as Qu Yiheng was concerned, Yao Zhan had no such intention.

They are not young anymore, and even though it is not possible for people like them to get married and have children in the same way as a heterosexual relationship, he still hopes that if they can still start a relationship, it will be stable and long-lasting.

He is tired of being in a relationship with no end in sight, and then he is tired of not getting any results, which hurts his heart and makes him sad.

He doesn’t want to repeat the same mistake again.

People in their thirties are not the same as they were in their teens and twenties, they are more cautious and conservative about their relationships, they can have sex, they can have sex without restraint, but when it comes to loving someone with their heart, they are not as bold.

Qu Yiheng envies those who still have the courage to love and hate in their thirties, because he does not dare.

He sat on the bed, smoked a cigarette, tidied up, and left after eight o’clock.

He went home, took a shower, changed his clothes and started painting.

The teacher called again, asking him about the progress of his work.

Looking at the painting in front of him, Qu Yiheng knew that if he was really going to apply for the work (of art), he would have to start preparing it now, and it would have to be something other than this naked man.

He responded to the teacher with a few words, thinking that no matter what, he would finish the painting in his hands first.

Qu Yiheng rummaged through the cabinets and boxes and found half a pack of cigarettes. He lit the cigarette, put it in his mouth and started to work.

It was a rare day for him to be in a good state, and it had been so long since he was so focused. He started at nine o’clock and continued until the afternoon without eating or drinking, and only went to the toilet in between.

He loved this state of mind so much, it was as if he was back in school years ago, his mind was intact with no other distractions and he had become one with his brush.

In the end, he still likes to paint, and the joy of creating brings him more happiness than anything else, even though he was once bullied very miserably because of this.

Because of that incident, he hated creating for a while and felt anxious every time he picked up a brush, but as his teacher said, he got over it.

Although the past few years have been difficult, at this moment, when he has regained the joy of creating again, Qu Yiheng feels that he might really be slowly getting out of that shadow.

Life is full of ugliness and regrets, just get used to it, and once you get used to it, you won’t let it get you down.

Yao Zhan waited for a whole day but didn’t get any message from Qu Yiheng. And by the afternoon, he was getting a little worried.

He was not worried about anything else but that his actions were too ambiguous and had made Qu Yiheng feel uncomfortable.

During the break, Yao Zhan was lying on his desk with his eyes closed, remembering. At a certain moment last night, he suddenly wanted to hold Qu Yiheng and never let go. He even wished that if he could go back to his secondary school days, he wanted them to be with each other together at that time.

Yes, together, not just having sex.

A long time ago, Yao Zhan heard someone say that it takes an opportunity for a person to fall in love with another person. It may just be a moment when a certain action hits you in the heart, and the love starts to grow.

Yao Zhan is not sure if he is in love with Qu Yiheng. He is in his thirties and it is a bit rash to say he is in love after sleeping with him a few times, but he really does not want to let go.

Qu Yiheng is too much to his liking in every way, as if God had created him to match his preferences; calm, good-looking and mysterious.

Qu Yiheng seems to have a lot of secrets, and they all fascinate Yao Zhan.

He had forgotten how long it had been since he had been so curious about someone.

In fact, he really intends to keep on getting along with Qu Yiheng as a friend with benefits until the other party tells him to stop. After all, adults need to have a certain amount of sex life, and their relationship is not bad for each other.

But Yao Zhan is getting a little greedy.

It’s only been a few days.

Not counting the past, it hadn’t been long since they last met at Che Hao’s funeral, but his desire was beginning to grow like a young sapling that had been irrigated, and it had begun to thrive.

Sometimes he can’t help but make intimate gestures towards Qu Yiheng, like the two kisses that landed on his forehead and nose this morning.

Even so, Yao Zhan was not ready to confess his love just yet, he had to wait.

But the fact that Qu Yiheng had not contacted him all day made him think that he might have been left cold.

Yao Zhan sent two messages to Qu Yiheng, but the other party didn’t reply. He suddenly remembered that he had been a bit overconfident when he said “we’ll be back together at night anyway” this morning, and now he was slapped in the face for his actions.

Thinking about it this way, Qu Yiheng still has quite a temper.

Yao Zhan smiled bitterly and continued to suffer in the classroom.