Chapter 7: Childish Thinking (2)

Chapter 7: Childish Thinking (2)

A few days later, I found myself with Adam Hyung and the mercenary group.

I was calling him Hyung because he was two years older than me.

We patiently waited in a lengthy queue, anticipating our turn for the entrance interview.

Humans?

Soon, it was our turn.

A mercenary member in charge of the entrance came out and waved his to Adam Hyung.

There was a subtle hint of disdain and disregard in his mention of our race.

However, Adam Hyung responded in a resounding voice.

"Yes, that's correct."

"...Well, whatever. It doesn't matter. You pass."

Without making eye contact with anyone, I also faced the interviewer without any difficulty.

I thought it would be something like a physical fitness test or a medical examination. But the lizardman with no enthusiasm explained to us insincerely.

"Step back. There's a seating area; wait there momentarily. We'll inform you about the mercenary group's regulations and training when the time comes."

Lets go.

I quickly lost interest in the careless lizardman and followed behind Adam Hyung

But it seemed like Adam Hyung also had a feeling about our easy entrance, as he said to me.

"It doesn't matter how we enter anyway."

Because this is a place where the game is decided by quantity rather than quality. We'll sacrifice dozens to kill one monster.

Upon comprehending the entrance explanation, his words rang true.

Even to someone like me who didn't know anything, it was clear that the mercenary group had little concern for the well-being of its members.

Meals are twice a day! The training schedule will be different from day to day!

It was very different from the great life they promised.

Life as a mercenary was not much different from life in the slums.

While the high-ranking officers of the mercenary group might live a glorious life, those like me and Adam Hyung could only survive well enough to preserve our lives.

Cold nights, meager food rations, paltry pay, and inconsistent training based on the officers' whims...

Nevertheless, the lower-ranked mercenaries clung to hope, dreaming of one-day becoming officers themselves.

The senior mercenaries who had joined earlier would mock other groups, boasting about the true rewards that awaited them after a missionthey could drink and be with women to their heart's content.

Some might have been grateful for such opportunities, but I felt that even at the cost of my life, it was a pitiful trade-off.

Of course, I didn't care because I joined not only with the desire to kill monsters but also with complex circumstances mixed in.

Adam Hyung always told me, "Just hold on a little longer, Berg. Like I said, someday I will form my own mercenary group. And my mercenaries will feel and be very different from this."

I didnt really care about what he said.

At that time, I had no room for leisure.

A few more weeks passed like this.

The whole world was worried about the explosively increasing number of monsters.

The ruined village and the dying lives also increased accordingly.

Numerous mercenary groups were formed, and everyone had more than enough work.

I had no choice but to believe in the stories about the demon king.

Even when I tried not to think about it, worries about Sien were the only thoughts lingering within me.

She was the girl who made it impossible for me to pursue or wait for her.

And as my mind grew more tangled, I turned to personal training with a wooden sword alongside Adam.

Through the intense sessions, drenched in sweat, I managed to momentarily release my thoughts about Sien.

Sometimes, training became a more powerful remedy than anything else.

The pain in my heart eased a little, and my shoulders felt lighter.

I preferred my body to be exhausted rather than my mind and heart.

Adam Hyung had once told me that if I were to die, I should die as a prominent mercenary, but he, more than anyone else, would not let me die.

If I made a mistake during practice, he would yell, criticize, and get angry.

Hey, you idiot! You will die, if you do that!!

Again!

He showed more enthusiasm than the training instructor of the mercenary group.

Adam Hyung never rested.

He practiced the sword with me, again and again.

Knowing that his scolding came from concern, I didn't feel bad about it.

I slowly realized that people could be kind.

I gradually became addicted to training, just like him.

As I spent my days like that, Adam Hyung and I were building friendships even if we didnt want to.

Even without friendly exchanges, there was a sense of trust that accumulated between us.

Even without words, there was a sense of reassurance when we were together.

Our tumultuous life in the mercenary group contributed to that.

Due to our significantly lower physical abilities compared to other races, we often faced conflicts.

The sight of us doing personal training might have been an annoyance to them.

The fact because we were human, it seemed like they considered us as targets they could harass.

"Did you say your name was Berg? Don't mess with me-"

Whack!

We watched out for each other.

"Stop messing around and focus."

"Alright, today's bet is on the drinks."

"...Sigh."

Why are you sighing again?

"...Even if I win, you won't pay up."

"I'll pay up today!"

We were using lighthearted pranks to cope with the pressure on the battlefield.

We were gradually getting used to the occasional death of our comrades.

No. Rather than getting used to it We were learning how to cope with it.

Cleaning up the bodies, holding funerals, and sharing cheap alcohol helped alleviate the shock.

As mercenaries, our lives were as expendable as those of flies.

The comrades we had conversations with every day were gone.

Frequently, it was a matter of luck who lived and who died.

Of course, my hyung and I probably had a higher chance of survival than others.

We kept our distance from women, avoided alcohol, and focused on training.

Even so, the pressure of knowing that we could die if luck wasn't on our side was always with us.

But we overcame even that.

Being with Adam Hyung, I gradually regained my laughter.

"...Hyung, I thought you were done for."

"Why would I die? By the way, did I kill five?"

"...Heh heh. I got the leader."

"Well, I threw my body around and cleared the area, so of course."

Looking at his optimistic or heroic performance, small smiles came out of me.

Sometimes he looked stupid, but there was always a smile at the end of his stupid actions.

Adam Hyung was also a caring person.

One day, he asked me why I had been like that in the slums.

But when he saw my unanswered expression, he changed the subject, saying he had made a mistake.

After that, he never asked about it again.

But I knew he was still curious.

Nevertheless, he prioritized his relationship with me over his own curiosity.

The more I saw him, the more I realized what an amazing person he was.

In a way, it was natural for me to trust him.

I gradually felt comfortable following him.

.

.

.

Two years had passed in the first mercenary group.

I was 19 years old and had become an adult.

The pain of Sien still lingered within me, but it no longer overwhelmed me like before.

I no longer drink alcohol the way I used to.

I still miss her... But at the same time, I now understood our separation.

It was after accepting the fate that we couldn't be together.

Just as I had bid farewell to many people within the mercenary group, I tried to think of leaving her as just one of the many partings.

However, that immature separation from back then now felt trivial.

If I think about it, she sacrificed herself for everyones comfort.

Why did I only utter words that would hurt her?

If I could turn back time, I would... I would offer her my blessings.

...Blessings...

...Could I genuinely offer my blessings?

...Occasionally, rumors would circulate about the party of warriors that Sien had joined.

It seemed that she was no longer called Sien, but a saintess.

She saved countless people, protected many, and seemed to purify the lands tainted by magic.

I felt like the cowardly crybaby Sien I knew had disappeared.

The more the saintess gained such a high reputation, the farther the distance between us felt.

I tried not to think about it anymore.

I decided to consider the time I spent with her as a blessing.

I regarded the moments we shared as sweet dreams.

She was someone who had a different purpose for being born into this world.

Perhaps she realized that and made the decision not to come back.

But to be honestI was still curious.

'Is Sien also thinking of me?'

Was our time together precious to her, or were they, as she once said, foolish memories that she could forget and move on from?

How much impact did my existence have on her?

What would she say if she saw me continuing my life as a mercenary?

No matter what she would say, it doesnt matter anymore.

The mercenary life, which had begun with resentment towards her, had now become something I had grown accustomed to.

End of Chapter

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