Chapter 47: The World Tree (7)
Arwin suppressed her feelings and continued to follow the words of her father and the elders.
Given their long lives, they must have saw things beyond her understanding.
It was tough... but in time, she would grow accustomed to it again.
Thus, 80 years passed.
Arwin turned 100 years old.
She was only halfway to her adulthood. Her body had grown considerably, making her appear rather grown-up.
Seemingly blessed, she had grown into a beauty that stood out even among the most beautiful elves.
While she couldnt entirely rid herself of her rebellious nature, she was establishing her own set of values.
...Values that encompassed her deep disdain for everything she had experienced.
This was the realization she came to after enduring the pain of her body tearing apart every month for 80 years.
Added to this was the throbbing headache from the continuous sacrifices she made.
Her transformation began in an instant.
But she also knew,
That these feelings were natural.
Of course, no one finds sacrifice pleasant.
It was a rite of passage everyone had to experience and surpass.
Even if she had sacrificed more than others, she also reaped greater benefits.
She was blessed with a lifespan that others could only dream of.
If she could endure just another 100 years, she could freely enjoy the following 1,100 years.
While other elves had a maximum of 600 years after reaching adulthood, Arwin had up to 1,100 years.
Almost double the time.
Perhaps she should be grateful that she didnt have to sacrifice 400 years.
She might become one of the greats, etched into the annals of history.
Among all living beings born into this world, she might become the most perfect being.
Perhaps she could even become a divine being, lacking nothing.
So she resolved to endure another 100 years focusing solely on that life.
She might have to fall asleep and wake up countless times, and scream in pain until her throat would explode millions of times, but time would heal all.
She persevered for quite a while longer.
On days when she was too exhausted to do anything, Arwin would take shallow breaths, weakly flip the pages, and indulge in reading.
Doing so seemed to help her forget, if just a little, the nightmarish pain she felt from the sacrifices.
She liked reading, it was comforting.
Through it, she could experience a life she had never known, even if only vicariously.
Arwin led a life quite distinct from other elves, so her interests differed significantly from theirs.
If there was something that piqued her interest the most, it was the outside world.
The vast territory of Celebrien felt too confined to hold the experiences of 100 years.
There was nothing to see, nothing to feel.
Thus, her longing for the world beyond grew over time.
If her dream had once been to remain within the territory and become a respected elf... now, she yearned to step outside and become something.
She didnt know what that might be.
Perhaps an adventurer. Or a musician. An artist. A philosopher. A hunter... The possibilities seemed endless.
Arwin imagined the world beyond the wall of Celebriens manor which she could not escape.
She thought of the sweet fruit that awaited her after this duty eventually ended: The vast, beautiful world. The short-lived species and their cultures. She spent her time eagerly anticipating what she might do.
Her heart felt precarious, like walking a tightrope, but she held on.
She could still manage.
Having been blessed, she had to give back.
-Then, I will make a sacrifice... but at least let them experience the same agony.
With every word, Arwin felt the surge of emotions shed suppressed for so long. It was as if a dam had shattered.
A latent fury she wasnt aware of began to surface.
After the initial outburst, every subsequent bitter word seemed to pour out effortlessly.
The emotions built up over centuries were never light.
Arwin made a proposal.
On my future days of sacrifice, gather all the head elders. No... after Ive recovered, gather them. Have them kneel in front of me...! I will make them experience the tearing pain, and then they can sacrifice for the elves and the World Tree!
You only have to bear it for a little while longer, Arwin!
To you, it might be just a moment, but for me, its been a lifetime!
Afterward, Ascal became silent, offering no response.
Arwin then revealed another hidden truth.
Ive heard, Father.
...?
You said you too underwent the sacrifice ritual beneath the World Tree? Since you did it yourself, you told me to endure... right?
...
But you only did it for a mere 20 years, right? And that too, once every two months.
Arwin let out a sarcastic laugh, her voice trembling. It was a comparison she tried so hard not to bring up.
Im now in my 110th year. Every single month. Thats more than ten times what youve experienced...!
A crazed laughter poured out from her.
But what do you really know...? Among the head elders, is there anyone who has sacrificed as much as I have?
Despite Arwins fervent words, Ascal remained largely unresponsive.
Theres hypocrisy, and then theres this level of hypocrisy...! All righteous on the surface, but Im the one whos sacrificing!
After a moment of silence, Ascal uttered the same phrase again.
For the elves and the World Tree-
-And what about me?
...?
Am I not an elf to you? You see me as nothing but a tool? The World Tree is truly more important than anything else?
Arwin also acknowledged the importance of the World Tree.
But for a different reason than other elves.
She felt that if that parasitic tree lived, the years of hardship she had endured wouldnt seem in vain.
Noticing Arwins deep distress, Ascal began to gently calm her down.
Arwin, I understand. Calm yourself. Ill speak with the elders again.
However, Arwin shook her head.
No? Enough. Its truly over now.
A dam that had burst could not be mended.
In this brief moment, a transformation had occurred.
It feels so liberating to have said this. Surprisingly so.
...
Perhaps I shouldve lived like this from the start. Maybe, given how slow I am to learn, thats why I was granted such a long life.
With icy eyes, Arwin looked down at Ascal, her words cutting like a curse.
Haaa.... Ill do it, once every fortnight. But thats it. Once I reach adulthood, Im leaving these lands... and dont expect anything more from me.
And so, Arwin once again encountered a turning point in her life.
However, no matter how I live from now on...! Dont interfere...!!
End of Chapter
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