- Drip...
Cold tears wet my face.
Her face, reflected in the moonlight, was steeped in sorrow.
“You still care about me in the end...!! You still love me in the end...!! Why are you pushing me away like this!! Hic...!”
“...Ner.”
My expression broke. It was probably because I realized she wasn’t hurt, and because her emotions were crashing into me more strongly than ever before.
Ner grabbed my collar and pulled me close.
Her lips pressed against mine.
I felt her sharp fangs graze my teeth.
Without a moment to collect myself, she pulled away and shouted at me again.
“You’re worrying about me... hic... this much... in the end...!”
- Smooch!
She kissed me again.
“You would’ve chased after me if I disappeared... in the end...!”
- Smooch!
“You never really wanted to push me away either, did you!!”
The last kiss was fiercer than any before.
In contrast to her hands, her lips were warm.
Her long tongue slipped into my mouth.
Like she was yearning for love, tears streaming down her face, Ner continued the long kiss.
“Haa... haa...”
She finally pulled away, breathing heavily, wiping our shared saliva roughly from her lips.
“Say it, Berg...!”
She demanded.
“Hurry... hic... tell me you love me... speak your true feelings...”
“...”
“If you weren’t worried about me, why are you here...? If I was such a burden, why did you follow me...?”
- Thud.
She collapsed, leaning her elbow next to my face.
We were so close, our noses almost touched.
“My husband... my love... my partner...”
“...”
“For me... the time I spent with you... is still the brightest moment of my life...”
- Drip.
Her tears kept speaking for her, revealing her true feelings.
“Because of you... hic... I found a reason to keep living...”
Her tears ran down my face, as if they were my own.
“But now that you’re not looking at me anymore... I feel like I’m dying, Berg... I can’t bear it any longer...”
She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me close.
“I’m not asking you to stop loving Sien... I’m just asking you to share a little bit of your love... Why is that so impossible...? Why...?”
I couldn’t summon the strength to sit up.
The weight of Ner, lying on top of me, felt more familiar than ever. It was almost like the comfort we once shared when we used to sleep in the same bed.
My emotions were a chaotic storm.
With great difficulty, I finally spoke.
“...But all I see is another separation.”
“Hic... ugh...”
“I’m married to Sien... How could I accept you too?”
At my words, Ner, as if fueled by anger, sat up and shouted at me.
“Hic...! But before...! You did it just fine!! You loved me and Arwin-nim at the same time!!”
“Things are different now. It’s forbidden by law!”
“Since when did you care about something like that!?”
Ner shouted at the top of her lungs.
It was the same thing Sien had said.
Since when did you care about the law?
Come to think of it, during our days in the slums... when the mercenaries fought each other, or when we cut down soldiers in the Jackson family, or when we killed bandits in Stockpin...
I’d never cared. Just as they said.
It was a fact engraved deep in my bones.
“I love you, Berg.”
Ner confessed to me, unable to offer any rebuttal.
“I love you, I love you, I love you...”
This time, she kissed me gently.
She lightly placed her lips on mine.
After continuing the kiss for a while, she pulled away and whispered.
“Please... This is your answer, isn’t it...? You came looking for me, too...”
She might be right.
What excuse could I possibly offer in this situation?
Perhaps to anyone else, the truth would be more obvious than ever.
But as she looked down at my silence, Ner slowly whispered.
“Is it... because I’m not human...?”
She let out a bitter laugh, as if mocking herself, and pulled a dagger from her side.
-Shing...!
Where did she even get that dagger?
And why did she bring it?
If I hadn’t shown up... would she have taken her life with that?
But unaware of my thoughts, Ner continued speaking.
“If I... become human... will you accept me then?”
Before I could even comprehend what she was saying, Ner grabbed her tail with her other hand.
With a voice full of frustration, she continued.
“...Hic... This white tail...”
“Ner...!”
“If I didn’t have this, maybe life would’ve been easier... You don’t even call it beautiful anymore... You just think it’s hideous...”
“Put the dagger down...!”
“...If this tail is so useless... maybe I don’t need it.”
Before I could offer any response, I saw her grip the dagger tightly.
Ner twisted her body, staring down at her tail.
In an instant, her hand moved toward it.
Ner looked down at Sien and spoke.
“...I wanted you to die.”
She revealed her heart.
Sien froze at Ner’s words, unable to move.
“If you died... it felt like I could go back to the way things were with Berg... Like that was the only way...”
She confessed her deepest, darkest desire.
Yet, Sien merely looked up at her in silence.
It was unclear whether she was too weak to react or if she had simply chosen not to.
Sien just lay there for a long moment... and then, smiling softly, she replied.
“...So... have you come... to kill me now?”
Ner shook her head.
“If I left you be, you’d die anyway...”
She even told Sien what she had recently come to realize.
Ner had done everything she could, but Sien’s body couldn’t hold out any longer.
Ner knew that Sien’s days were numbered.
At her words, Sien’s eyes trembled.
She smiled weakly and spoke.
“...No... Berg will... be in pain...”
Ner, watching her, responded.
“...I know.”
That’s why she had come here.
Ner swallowed her tears and spoke.
“...I’ve realized something... It took me too long, but I’ve finally understood... I wasn’t wishing for my own happiness.”
“...”
“...I’ve realized that if Berg is happy, then that’s enough.”
“...”
“And right now, I think... you and your child will make Berg happier than I ever could...”
“...Lady Ner...?”
-Whoosh!
Ner suddenly climbed on top of Sien, pressing down hard on her shoulders.
Sien, unable to resist, whispered.
“Ah... it hurts, Lady Ner...”
“...Just bear it for a moment.”
-Crack...
Tears streamed from Ner’s eyes once again.
She had no idea what the outcome of this spell would be.
Ner didn’t know what would happen to her.
She might die here.
The spell she was about to perform was one of that nature.
It was a spell cast only for the one you love, and it demanded your life in return.
But Berg loved Sien, and Ner loved Berg.
There was no other way for her to continue this path.
One thing, however, was certain: Sien’s condition would improve.
The spell would give her enough time to overcome the plague.
Who would’ve thought that a day would come when Ner would sacrifice her life for her rival?
For Ner, who had only ever loved Berg, there could be no greater humiliation.
She was betting her life so that the man she loved could live happily with someone else.
Ner let out a bitter laugh.
...And yet, she began to chant the spell.
Her eyes began to glow orange, and soon, glowing orange lines emerged from her body and flowed into Sien.
“Wh-What is this...?”
Sien, feeling the immediate effects, looked back at Ner with a newfound energy.
But Ner, despite seeing Sien’s surprise, continued the chant without pause.
This was the spell her grandmother had taught her.
A spell she had desperately sought out in case the person she loved was ever in danger.
Ner could feel her body deteriorating rapidly.
The strength in the arms pinning Sien down was fading.
“L-Lady Ner...!”
Life was returning to Sien’s eyes.
But Ner’s own eyes were losing their light.
She was exchanging her health for Sien’s.
Ner’s arms began to tremble, on the verge of giving way.
In those moments, Ner didn’t focus on Sien in front of her, but instead, recalled memories of Berg.
‘Ner.’
From the first time they met to the moment she fell in love with him.
She remembered the way he smiled and called her name.
Those memories made Ner smile, too.
‘...Berg.’
She whispered to herself.
If something went wrong, this might be the last time.
‘...You have to be happy.’
Believing that Berg would find happiness, she chanted the spell to the very end.
-Thud.
Her body finally gave out.
As her consciousness faded, she felt Sien shaking her vigorously.
It seemed the spell had worked.
‘This is enough.’
She comforted herself.
As long as Berg could be happy, that was all that mattered.
Ner closed her eyes.
She prayed she might see Berg, even if only in her dreams.
– – – The End of The Chapter – – –
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