Chapter 17: ADHD is my Superpower

Chapter 17: ADHD is my Superpower

Paradox’s entire world narrowed down to Karnos, his vision tunneling as if he’d turtled into his own skin and was watching everything through a narrow periscope.

His heart slammed in his ears.

He knew Karnos was bluffing.

Karnos know Paradox was bluffing.

The game they were playing now was chicken. Seeing which one of them would swerve before it came to a full-on brawl that could get one or both of them killed.

Because if Paradox rolled over to a threat, Karnos would do it again. And again. That was just the way self-serving animals without a shred of empathy operated. Like serial killers, career criminals, corporate CEO’s, and housecats.

The moment hung in the air, each heartbeat seeming to last an eternity as Paradox made plan A through Z.

Plan A was to run away by drilling a hole through the wall or ceiling with Floating Armaments.

Plan Z was inflicting as much damage as possible with them the instant before he died. Everything in between was a variation on those two outcomes.

The storage unit wasn’t very sturdy, and Paradox was fairly sure he could do it. The trick was holding Karnos away from him with his floating armaments while he made his escape.

Once Karnos got into melee range the fight was essentially over. He could shapeshift, dive into Perry’s sinuses and explode his head from the inside.

Ooh! I wonder if I could make my next suit airtight. That seems like it would become necessity sooner rather than later. Like in the next four seconds.

FOCUS!

Paradox’s eyes narrowed.

I bet I could make a Floating Armament suit of armor. I wouldn’t even need to design power armor then. I’d just have to branch out into micro-cutters and lasers for higher precision at nanoscale. Could be highly useful as backup armor.

I wonder if I could modify the properties of floating armaments by introducing impurities? If properties could be modified, could I make a summonable microchip, and if so, could the summoned armor therefore have HUD and electrical components?

Summonable computer. Weird.

FOCUS!!!

Perry’s brain seemed to be oddly numb to the danger in front of him and had begun wandering despite his heart screaming the seriousness of the situation directly into his ears.

Karnos opened his mouth and limbered up his gun, breaking the oppressive stillness.

This is it. It’s on, Perry thought, his skin prickling as he tensed, ready to trigger the belt around his waist, summon some floating armaments and get the party started.

RIIIIING!

Perry’s cell phone on the desk began ringing, cutting off whatever the supervillain in front of him had been about to say.

Paradox and Karnos glanced at each other. The older supervillain shrugged wordlessly.

RIIIIIING!

“One sec.” Perry said, grabbing his phone and immediately recognizing Titan’s work number.

Perry held the phone to his ear and spoke without taking his eye off the supervillain in the corner of the room.

“Paradox speaking. I’m a little busy right now, so-“

“Locust is planning a coup. She’s gonna take down Nexus during High Tide.”

Perry blinked, and glanced over at Mr. Skinner, covering the mic.

“Can you excuse me? I need to take this.”

***Later***

“What’s the deal?” Perry asked, arriving at the meeting point in his Mk. II.

“You got here fast,” Titan said approvingly.

“Yeah I was just in my lair in a mexican standoff with Karnos when you guys called. It’s no problem,” Perry said with a shrug. “He’s probably still there, trying to break all my stuff as we speak.”

“And you’re...okay with that?” Warcry asked, her brows furrowed.

“It was cheap,” Perry said with a shrug. “Plus he literally didn’t bring enough firepower to break anything I’ve made.”

The only caviat to that was the spell discs, which he’d loaded and brought with him, and the spell materials, which were hidden.

Perry had over fifty thousand dollars in parts for sale in the Marketplace, dribbling money into his bank account over time.

If somehow Karnos managed to break his lair, he’d get a new one. Underground. And actually secret this time. The primary purpose of a lair was to ensure privacy, so his current one was less than ideal, anyway.

He was madder at the lair than he was at Karnos.

The Spendthrift perk was very conducive to an easy-come-easy-go mindset.

“Anyway, enough about that mess. What’s this about a coup?” Perry asked, glancing around at the assembled capes.

There were a lot more than he was used to. Titan must’ve called all his contacts for this, implying this was something big.

“They’ve been creating anti-super weapons and testing them on prawns.”

Titan waggled a giant finger at Warcry. “And it is a job. Make no doubt about it. You don’t get to slack.”

Warcry rolled her eyes.

“Have you tried using your powers to grind up concrete and heat it up hot enough that it can be re-used?” Perry asked, leaning over and catching the energy-user’s gaze. “Or using your power to create forms for construction? Cutting beams? Shaping bricks or clearing rubble so rebuilding can begin faster?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but mind your own business,” Warcry said.

Perry shrugged. Clearly she hadn’t given the problem the thought it deserved. That seemed to be all Perry was able to do recently. It was as if his mind had become so bored with the mundane that he put himself on autopilot and thought about other things.

Even Karnos threatening his life had been a little boring.

I wonder if that’s a result of my heightened Nerve. Or being a tinker. Or something else?

Oh, speaking of heightened Nerve, taking the summoned computer thought experiment to it’s conclusion, wouldn’t that allow me to have a computer magically connected to my mind? I could run CAD completely with my mind, increasing the speed severalfold. Maybe I don’t have to buy a cortex connection device. I could just build a magical one.

That would be pretty crazy. And if I could figure out a way to make a variety of standard connections come off of the computer, like USB male cords, I could plug my mind almost directly into any other computer, using my magical computer as the go-between.

How weird would that be?

I’d have to make an operating system for it, and...do I have enough skin for that? If perry wanted his magical floating computer to be permanent , he’d need a lot of skin. If permanence was even something that was possible. Computers had a lot of parts.

Does the skin have to be attached to my body? Perry assumed it was a central nervous system thing.

What if I grew some of my skin on a petri dish and tried that? perry assumed that wouldn’t work because the skin wasn’t connected to his nervous system.

Wait a minute.

What if he then connected the skin to his nervous system by using a symbol written in mindtaker ichor on the other side.

Would that be possible?

It seemed like it might be a way to condense dozens or even hundreds of large symbols down to one symbol on his own body.

This will require a more advanced chemistry setup, Perry thought. I should look into making some drilling drones so I can get started on that new lair.

Speaking of new lairs, I need to figure out how everyone is surveilling me and put a stop to it. Creating a new lair while I’m on reality T.V. probably won’t do me any favors.

So Perry’s first priority was to figure out how he’d been bugged, disable it, then launch counter-intelligence against his old man.

It was all in good fun.

Then a new lair.

Then the mad science.

Although, I suppose I’ll have to deal with this ambush first.

Three identical women with a greenish hue were standing in the street in front of them, holding oversized blasters of unknown potency.

They were flanked by no less than twenty minions in faceless white masks and black hyperweave (spandex), each carrying some manner of weapon.

“Where do you think y’all are going in my block?” the center Locust asked, hefting her gun menacingly.

Perry glanced up and spotted white masks in the windows on either side of the street, and on the rooftops, flanking them on every side. Those minions were in turn flanked by Heather and Jetset, who seemed to be dismayed at the sheer quantity.

I don’t think I’ll ever get a better shot at this. If a fight breaks out I won’t have their undivided attention.

Taking the initiative, Perry gave the code-phrase he’d taught Titan’s Crew a week ago.

“Oh my god you guys! I think I’m having a baby!” Perry shouted, flailing his arms.

Weallfloatdownhere.EXE

Titan and Warycry clenched their eyes shut and looked away from him as the spell-disc did its work.

A crystal was shattered in the crown of the Mk.II helmet, causing a pulse of blinding light to emanate outwards as Tomward’s Floating Dazzler was cast from his helmet.

“Agh!” Locust snarled, backing away and covering her eyes. “What the Heaaaa!” The supervillain began squawking as her feet divorced themselves from the ground without her permission. And they weren’t getting back together either.

Dang near one hundred percent of the assembled minions and their boss had been caught gawking at the strange display. Nice.

They now weighed as much as the air they breathed, tumbling up into the air with no balance, nor ability to aim their weapons without spinning wildly in midair.

The original trigger phrase was going to be ‘hey, look at me’, but it got shot down because it revealed the intention of the spell to the cunning observer. I think this way is a heck of a lot funnier, and just as effective. I mean, who wouldn’t look at a man in power-armor that claims he’s about to give birth?

“Thirty seconds!” Perry shouted. It was more like thirty-four point five, but who was counting?

“Hardcase, scatter the minions, gently!” Titan shouted “Warcry, corral Locust, disable her guns if you can, and definitely prevent her from-“

BANG!

The three Locusts popped as they shot themselves in the head.

“Doing that.” Titan gave a rare pout then put his game face back on.

“She’s gonna know we’re coming, let’s plow through these guys before she has time to go to ground!” he shouted, leading by example and knocking aside wildly flailing minions like bowling pins.

Behind them, Manic followed along, riding along on his Segway and absolutely destroying a plate of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.