Chapter 251: That’s No way to Blackmail Your Grandmother, Paradox

Chapter 251: That’s No way to Blackmail Your Grandmother, Paradox

Perry stared at the tiny little clinic where his grandmother controlled Funkytown, tossing down terse commands from inside her legitimate business under the nose of the law like The Godfather. The place where so much of his shame and self-loathing had been fomented by a literal evil witch in a misguided effort to temper him.

It could be argued that it worked.

It could also be argued that argument was stupid.

Perry took a deep, steadying breath.

If I die, tell your moms I love em. Nat more than Heather, obviously.

Okay. Gareth said, nodding seriously.

Alright. Lets go get some free candy.

Perry tousled his hair, then the two of them hustled to keep up with Sera, who was already crossing the street.

Okay. Every action, every single action I take, down to the way I walk, speak and stand, will be judged and found wanting.

I want Gramma to take this conversation seriously.

Ive already started walking, so theres not much I can do about the walking portion.

So, our conversation starts with the manner in which I enter the building. She will know when I enter because of the myriad magical protections coating the entire building.

Perry had never noticed when he was younger, but the clinic was covered in snarls of magical protection, so extensive and complex that they mustve been put together year by year, generation by generation. Carefully laid over each other to create something stronger than the sum of its parts.

Now, Perry had several options how to start the conversation.

#1 Ignore the protections and approach peacefully, since the security system was already set to do nothing more than note his presence. This started the conversation on a submissive note, and allowed Gramma a few moments to prepare. Unacceptable.

#2 Sneak past the security system, starting their conversation with Gramma on the defensive, butthe tone was wrong. It implied he needed sneakiness or subterfuge, and gramma would pick up on that and it would color their interaction.

#3 break her security system. Gramma would likely rate the entrance poorly, complain of him being a brute, and be dismissive of him in general.

#4 Sprint through the security system, grab her by the shoulders and scream at full volume while shaking her wildly. She wouldnt get any kind of read on his intentions or be able to make backhanded comments while utterly flummoxed.

#4 was a strong possibility, but Perry decided to go with #5: the behavior of a king.

Dont evade it, dont allow it, dont break it.

Take it.

Perry extended a palm as he walked across the street, a glowing orb manifesting above, detailing the clinic.

Gretchens Idyllic Manifestation.exe

The defenses reacted to the spell, fluttering out and splattering uselessly against the sheer mass of Perrys working.

Perry absorbed the information of every single defense in place to protect his grandmother and her clientele, and replaced them with his own, using his internalized batteries to inject the essences where they were needed.

Sure, it would still protect them, and better than it did beforebut it answered to him now.

Once the hypothetical manifestation was to his liking, Perry crushed the orb in his palm, triggering the change.

Thousands of complex, layered spells were replaced with tens of thousands, of much greater complexity, all connected to a Lair Control Center that Perry controlled.

Its my clinic now, ya old witch.

The appearance of the clinic didnt even flicker, despite being replaced from the ground up, and Sera wrenched the door open, rushing inside.

Great Gramma! she said, rushing inside, moments ahead of Perry and her brother, her previous distaste for Marigold overwhelmed by the possibility of free candy.

Several injured Manitians glanced up in curiosity as Sera ran past them, flinching when they spotted Perrys expression.

Paradoxs Seraphine Ouchie Corrector.exe

A modified Astras mending channelled outward from Perry and healed everyone attending of their ailments. A missing tooth, a bit of mange, fleas, exhausted fairy dust, you name it.

As one, they decided they didnt need to hang around, leaving Paradoxs clinic through the front door to escape from Paradoxs withering gaze.

Paradox, lovely to see you! Gramma said, emerging from the side-room with her arms wide, a flesh-eating attack curse dissipating into unstructured essence behind her. Naturally nobody else saw it, but that meant hed spooked the shit out of her.

Time to keep the ball rolling.

This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Grammas microexpressions told Perry everything he needed to know.

And he didnt perchance bring a sample to you with a request that you magically enhance its potency? Perry asked.

I would never work with someone like that. Gramma lied.

Of course you wouldnt. Scrape is a rotten-toothed meth-head, and youre a queen. You wouldnt be caught dead associating with filth like himUnless he was going after your white whale? Perry asked. Somebody you couldnt tolerate being above you?

Gramma stayed quiet.

Its a fine cats paw, Ill give you that. Im the only person that put it together. Mom will probably be next. Whether or not shell do anything about it Perry shrugged.

Did it occur to you that destabilizing the most powerful man on the planet might put your great grandchildren in danger?

Gramma didnt say anything.

You know what I did to the last person who tried to endanger my children?

You removed all his teeth and beat him to death with your bare hands. Gramma said quietly.

Exactly! So what makes you think youre afforded any slack? Perry demanded.

Because your children are here? Gramma asked.

Oh yeah, Perry said, glancing down at the twins, who were looking up at him with wide eyes, lollipop sticks hanging slack from their mouths.

Are you gonna kill great gramma? Sera asked with wide eyes.

Probably not, Perry said, tousling her hair before turning his gaze back towards the witch.

Heres what youre going to do, Perry said. Youre going to actively assist in the search for a cure. Youre going to be a good, upstanding citizen and do everything in your power to help keep Solaris healthyOr else.

Or else what? Kill me? Im not afraid of death.

Perry grunted. Yes, Im sure youve clawed your way out of Tartarus more than once. No, I had something more extreme in mind.

Paradox retrieved a folded up sheet of paper from his vest pocket, and began reciting a list of names.

His grandmother slowly lost color in her face as she realized that the list of names were powerful Manitians who had been disappeared by the U.S. government shortly after their arrival on Earth. People shed informed on to get an early lead against.

The list was extensive, and touched the family tree of nearly every major political house that had taken shelter on Earth. Hed found it in an abandoned military bunker while digging for dirt on Tyrannus.

How did you Gramma breathed.

Picked it up at a garage sale recently for a steal, Perry said. I didnt think Id have to use it so soon, but here we are.

Perry stuffed the list back in his pocket. The funny thing was, with his System-enhanced memory, the list was more of a prop for dramatic effect. Judging by the old womans expression, it had worked.

If you dont comply and put your best effort towards helping the rest of us resolve the Solaris problem, I will burn your legacy to the ground and piss on the ashes. You will be queen of the ditch on 34th and main street. Do you understand me?

Yes.

Good. Now give me the details of the exact spell you used to slip Scrapes virus past Solariss immunities. If you have any remaining samples of Solariss blood, I want those too.

Marigold was ashen and shaking as she led them to an office where she began pulling out detailed notes of a custom-made curse, along with a floating piece of bone marrow that occasionally dripped blood into a waiting magical flask.

Part of Perry felt bad at upsetting his only grandmother.

The overwhelming majority of him was having a great time.

Your assistance is most appreciated. Perry said, seizing the documents and the blood-producing sample.

it for you, Gramma murmured as Perry walked away.

Eh? Perry asked, glancing back.

I did it for you, you ungrateful child! Gramma shouted, causing the twins to hide behind him.

Perry watched his grandmother lose her cool, completely unmoved.

Its okay, you two, Perry said, patting his children on the shoulder comfortingly. Some people lie to themselves so often they forget whats real.

He looked up at the wild-eyed witch.

I dont need your help.