Chapter 261: Australia Man

Chapter 261: Australia Man

Bendigo was...fine.

It was nighttime on the west coast, so they stepped into mid-day on the other side of the Earth.

Perry stepped out onto the street and immediately felt the chill on his skin. It was currently transitioning to summer back home, so Bendigo, being in the far south of Australia, was transitioning into winter. The trees were losing their leaves, littering the fields with bright orange.

Wait..fields? trees?

Perry did a mental reset as he watched a squirrel leap from branch to branch. Directly below them Sera and Gareth began playing with dead leaves, marvelling in the instantaneous fall weather.

Wait, squirrel or squirrel-like marsupial? Bat? Too late, because the squirrel-imposter was already gone.

“Why are there living things inside the city?” Perry asked. “Don’t they Trigger?”

“Yeah, sometimes.” Perfora said with a shrug. “I’ll show you to city hall, we can get you a Visitor’s pass.”

Perry didn’t think he’d be spending much time inside city limits, but that was fine. he had to read up on native Australian flora and fauna, might as well wait in line for something else while he did it.

About halfway through the line, Perry had gone through most of the native wildlife and realized that he needed a guide. One mistaken I.D. might get him or his kids killed. Not to mention, the information he had access to were primarily Pre-Tide animals and of limited usefulness.

The data for Tide-altered stuff that lived in the Outback was worryingly sparse.

They got through the line much quicker than Perry had expected. He didn’t even have enough time to finish the native flora.

The line in front of him evaporated, revealing a haggard looking blonde woman with crooked teeth and a slightly bulbous nose. She chewed on some unidentifiable substance and Perry could make out Oxygen vents above and behind her, heightening the O2 content of the room on the other side of the glass.

“Whaddya need?” She asked, her eyebrow twitching as she took in Perry’s ragtag group.

Perfora stepped forward. “We’ve got three visitors to Australia and their kids.”

In the blink of an eye, she flickered across the room and grabbed four sheets of paper, filling them out with a specialized pen designed not to catch fire or tear the paper.

Perry had never thought of it, but a Speedster in the DMV would be wildly popular for everyone...except for the Speedster working in the DMV.

“Name?”

“Paradox Zauberer.” Perry said.

A brow twitched, but she filled out all their info in a matter of seconds.

“Purpose for your visit?”

“Ecological,” Perry said.

“That’s not a category,” She said.Reaad latest novels at novelhall.com

“There’s an invasive species wreaking havoc across the American continent, and I’m looking for a venom or species that can be leveraged to exterminate it.”

“I’ll put you down for business.” She said.

“Duration of your stay?”

“Two weeks, give or take.”

She made a note.

“Powers to declare?”

Perry glanced at Perfora, who nodded.

“You guys first.” Perry said, motioning to Heather and Annette.

“Empathic sensitivity and projection.” Annette said.

“Polymorphism, ghost summoning, and intangibility.” Heather said.

Zip! The pen blurred as she wrote it down before switching to Perry’s page.

“And you?”

Perry leveraged his inhuman Body and Nerve.

“Superspeed, super strength, super intelligence, Mage, Tinker, Dimensional vision, material manipulation...” Perry went on for a while, diving into the different spells that might typically be considered their own unique powers, such as healing and life-draining, reality warping, soul-altering, concept storing, DNA manipulation...etc.

Ziiiiiiiiip

The lady didn’t miss a beat, but her expression looked a bit incredulous.

“You an Outback hunter where you’re from?” she asked.

“Basically.” Perry said with a shrug.

Her eyes narrowed a moment before flicking her pen at his face at supersonic speeds.

Perry caught it and handed it back.

“Alright then, welcome to Australia, Mr. Zaburor.”

“Zauberer.” Perry said.

“That’s what I said. Anyway, if you’re not lying, you’re gonna want to visit The Lodge, It’s two blocks that way. I’ll have your Visitor Passes done before you get there.” She said, pointing down the street.

“Thank you very much.”

The speedster waved him off with a grunt and dashed into the back room, which began humming with activity.

They headed back outside and true to her word, the haggard speedster pressed a laminated pass into each of their hands before they got a full block away.

“Hah, she spelled your name wrong.” Heather said.

“And you know how to spell my name correctly. You just played yourself.” Perry said as he tucked the pass into his pocket.

CRACK!

“You’re a tough one, kid. I expected a Tinker to be a lot less durable.” Australia man said while Perry shook his metacarpals back into place.

Paradox’s Seraphine Ouchie Corrector.exe

In the space of a breath, Perry’s hand was back to normal.

Australia Man’s eyebrow rose, but he didn’t say anything more on the subject.

“This is Backdraft, Dust, Natura, and Bob.” He said, pointing to his four companions, who Perry shook hands with. None quite as hard as the first time.

“Why don’t you come take a seat and tell us more about what you’re trying to do?”

Perry sat them down and explained the situation in more detail about what was going on and why he thought he might find a solution in Australia.

“Pretty thin logic, there.” Bob pointed out Perry’s reasoning. “You sure it wasn’t just Ryan that had the spider-sense?”

“Won’t you need a sample of this mimic to work with?” Natura asked.

“Plus, there’s no way I’m letting you bring it into Australia. On principle.” Australia man said.

Perry tapped his fingers on the table, glad to finally be getting down to the nitty gritty.

“I can arrange transportation for all the samples to a neutral third location, where we don’t have to worry about invasives getting loose. Does that sound doable?” Perry asked.

“...Alright. let’s head out. Our gear and our plane is at the airport. We’ll meet your team there.” Australia Man said, motioning for the rest of his team to follow.

The five of them gathered near the entrance, discussing the minutia of their trip before leaving.

“Oh. My. God.” Perfora said, approaching from behind. “That was Australia Man. Australia Man is going to be with you. For two WEEKS!”

“And?” Perry asked.

“I mean. He – you know – He’s Australia Man!” Perfora said, her voice raising in pitch, seemingly giddy as teen girl with her first crush.

The sudden change in tone from the previously stoic leader of the diplomatic team was staggering, throwing Perry off for several seconds.

“...I assume he’s somewhat famous?” Perry asked. “Pretend I’m not from around here.”

This was also a mistake, as Perfora proceeded to explode on them with super-facts like it was trivia night at a bar. Not unlike what Perry would expect from a young woman who’d grown up idolizing Solaris, actually.

From the frankly outrageous tales of his exploits, Perry gleaned some pertinent information.

Australia Man seemed to fuel himself through hyperbole and national pride, and as long as he was beloved by his nation, he was unbeatable. Doubly so on his native soil.

He’d been a nobody fifty years ago, a skinny teen running around in a ski-mask and jeans, nearly getting killed over and over again, but the more famous he got, the bigger his fights got, and the bigger his muscles got. Somewhere in there, his body stopped aging, instead morphing and crystalizing into an idealized version of ‘Australia Man’.

To Perry’s eyes, he was probably a Wildcard who had reached the top of their game, rivalling Omni class supers like Solaris and Professor Replica.

Interesting thought. There were a million different paths to Omni-class, it seemed. Even being well-liked enough.

“Heather, can you follow them to the airport? I have to grab some samples.”

“Sure,” Heather nodded.

“Annette, find a nice place for the twins to play, take them out to eat, and meet us here around midnight.”

“You realize they’re probably going to pass out as soon as you leave?” Annette asked.

“Hotel, then,” Perry said before pausing. “Does the eternal Empire have a currency exchange in Bendigo?” Perry had some for his occasional visits to L.A.

Perfora shook her head.

“Is gold still valuable here?” Perry asked.

“You could probably get enough for a room at a hotel if you pawned it.” Perfora said.

Gretchen’s Idyllic Manifestation.exe

A heavy lump of gold settled in Perry’s hand and he tossed it to Annette in front of Perfora’s bulging gaze.

“There you go, don’t spend it all in one place. I’ll be right back.”

Portal.exe

***Casey Jenkins, Random Civilian***

Casey Jenkins screamed as her boyfriend split open, his chest unzipping to reveal a slavering maw with a tongue that slithered through the air, seeking her out.

“I’m sorry, Casey,” Ken’s head said, tears rolling down his cheeks as his head folded back.

Casey shrieked, blocking out the vision with her forearms, her pulse pounding in her ears. Every cell in her body told her to run, to fight, but she couldn’t muster the courage to do...anything.

“Umm..this is weird.”

Casey peeked from behind her forearms and spotted the tongue inches away from her face. She yelped and flinched backwards before realizing that it wasn’t mosing forward. in fact is seemed to be pressed up against a flat invisible surface. Like it’d struck a window.

More tendrils shot out from Ken in every direction, but they struck an invisible box that seemed to be closing around him.

In a matter of seconds, the monster that had been Ken was compressed down to a three-foot cube, thrashing against the solid wall of air compressing him.

When Casey thought Ken was going to be crushed to death, she spotted a shimmering field in midair.

The invisible box containing her monster-boyfriend floated through the shimmering light and disappeared.

Casey let out an involuntary yelp as a head popped through the shimmering light. It was...Paradox?

“Sorry for your loss,” The famous super’s head said, an instant before disappearing back through the shimmering veil.

“What...was that?” Casey muttered, her entire body numbed by shock.