154 Retrospection

A forest surrounding the region of Kishnoi Swamps.

Night time around 10 PM.

The dark blue night sky was adorned with sparkling stars. The two moons of Gilaahan cast bright moonlight on their domain, allowing for complete visibility even when night had claimed half the world for itself.

Eren stared blankly at the fire as he thought of many things at once.

He was alone by the campfire. He and Mia had set up their temporary base for the night in the Kishnoi forest. The area was safe and away from the hot zones created by monsters and mana beasts.

Still, Mia had proceeded to scour the area and secure it with perimeter arrays and traps. Her ranger-specific skills and knowledge made her an ideal candidate for this role.

Eren had kept the pot of meat stew over the campfire as he replayed his recent encounter with the Slaadi in his head. He was retrospecting his performance.

Eren concluded that he was very content with the execution of his Hex spells and their on-filed usability. Igni series spells complemented each other, allowing him greater flexibility than his current lightning spells.

He was very content with the progress of his mana-based martial arts and its fusion with Jeet Kune Do. There were a lot of aspects of the fusion that he knew he could improve on. But at this point, he knew he needed to start walking steadily first before he could think of sprinting.

However, Eren was feeling he was missing something. And that feeling made him less than happy with his progress.

He was still unable to use the Bear armor the way it was supposed to. The only thing he could use it for was to incorporate it into his spells and convert them into Hex spells.

Bear armor served as a conduit for his will. But it wasn’t its sole purpose for existence. It was supposed to provide him with exceptional defense. And it did deliver on that assumption. It was he that had failed to incorporate it into his battle style.

Bear armor was capable of reflecting most spells in the Meta rank, rendering them ineffective against their wearer. But it could only render one spell useless at a time when it was being used passively. Also, the passive use of the armor did not negate the direct physical attacks his enemies launched at him. It would only reduce its intensity to some degree, allowing for reduced damage.

Eren needed to use the Bear armor to its fullest for his defensive usage if he wanted to get the most out of it. But it was something easier said than done.

The runes on the bear armor allowed Eren’s will that seeped into his mana sense to integrate with his spells. But it didn’t have a specific set of rules for being used as defensive armor.

Kino had told him the Hex gear offered unmatched flexibility to Hexers with a strong will. These gears didn’t come with a specific set of rules or usage. It played on the strengths of Hexers’ will and allowed them to use it however they wished.

It meant that two Hexers wearing the same Hex gear could derive different usage from it. The will they would imbue to use their gears would manifest as Hex spells through the Hex runes. And the intentions mixed into that will dictate the spell and its effects.

This was the true freedom offered by the He gear set. It molded itself as per the Hexer’s will, enabling them to use spells that played on the gear’s strengths.

‘Seek and ye shall find.’

Eren patted his heart as he considered how to use the Bear armor. He thought of how to mold the Hex runes so that they give him access to some unique spells or effects.

For Eren to find what he was looking for, his act of seeking needed to be firm and unwavering. But how can one remain unwavering when there are so many options to choose from?

Eren thought about his experience when his consciousness was pulled into the mystic place after his first death. He remembered his conversation with that all-encompassing existence and the words it had said to him.

Ask, and it shall be given you.

Seek, and ye shall find.

Knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Eren smiled mirthlessly when he thought of a different way of looking at these lines. Earlier, he had thought that the lines could only be interpreted as blessings. But now he knew better.

These lines could also be interpreted as curses. If the possibility of gaining what he asked for was assured, what should he ask for first and foremost? No matter what he chooses, there’ll come a time when he’ll feel that there was something better he could have wished for. The regret born out of his own choices will leave a permanent mark on his psyche.

“Seek and ye shall find!”

Eren mumbled to himself as he looked at the stars above. He watched small clusters of dark clouds traveling through the sky from nowhere to nowhere as he sorted out his thoughts.

‘I don’t know what I’m looking for because I’m trying to find something that is shrouded in the darkness of infinity. Infinity is boundless and thus can not be used for something that gets narrowed down through my choice.

If this is the case, I need to start looking for something that is already out there– illuminated by the light of choices. Choices are not boundless. Therefore, they could be used for the current me that is finite.’

Eren came up with his own logic to get himself out of his current predicament. If he didn’t know what he was looking for, he’d just copy what he had seen so far and mold it into his style.

Eren started replaying all his fights and encounters in his head. He then used the theory of elimination to narrow down his choice.

The flesh-altering spell. The bear-like transformation Eren had seen the ax-wielding puppet do in front of him. And his current capabilities as a Meta ranker. Eren fused all his pointers.

He flashed a smile to nobody in particular as he came up with a way and will to use his current Bear’s Creed Hex gear set.